Forum Discussion
Stranger reactions and losing one's temper!
Had a new thing happen today.
I woman I'd met only once before two weeks ago, and only to say hello, asked me how I was going (Chemo 3, death warmed up). I answered 'not awesome' and she said, grinning from ear to ear, 'been there' and without pausing asked me if I had any lymph node involvement.
Something just snapped inside me. I am very open about this stuff and until now, have answered any questions put to me. But there was something about the gall of this grinning woman who doesn't know me from Adam, wanting to know something so diagnostically specific. So I said I didn't feel comfortable discussing it with someone I didn't know.
She rushed on and said she knew just how I felt, that she'd been there. My goat was up, (this was in my home) and as I herded her towards the door, I said 'are you raising your dead sister's children and caring for your father-in-law because his daughter died from a brain tumour?'
I am mortified! Suffering is NOT a competition! She caught me on a really bad day and I will apologise to her next time I see her in two weeks. Has anyone else made an absolute tit of themselves like this?! Please say yes...
I woman I'd met only once before two weeks ago, and only to say hello, asked me how I was going (Chemo 3, death warmed up). I answered 'not awesome' and she said, grinning from ear to ear, 'been there' and without pausing asked me if I had any lymph node involvement.
Something just snapped inside me. I am very open about this stuff and until now, have answered any questions put to me. But there was something about the gall of this grinning woman who doesn't know me from Adam, wanting to know something so diagnostically specific. So I said I didn't feel comfortable discussing it with someone I didn't know.
She rushed on and said she knew just how I felt, that she'd been there. My goat was up, (this was in my home) and as I herded her towards the door, I said 'are you raising your dead sister's children and caring for your father-in-law because his daughter died from a brain tumour?'
I am mortified! Suffering is NOT a competition! She caught me on a really bad day and I will apologise to her next time I see her in two weeks. Has anyone else made an absolute tit of themselves like this?! Please say yes...
32 Replies
- Omg @JanineG that is hilarious! And dreadful like me. Thank you SO much for sharing.
- Oh no @JasiB1! Sounds like they deserved it. Perhaps work out what YOU would like them to do, and then convey that to them, with a small apology for losing your temper? Sometimes people just don't know what to do and get paralysed in that. Give 'em a nudge. But really, how insensitive!
- Thank you @Joannie and @JanineG. I was so upset and angry and I was absolutely mortified at the things I said, but at the same time felt justified. As we know, it's hard enough dealing with BC on a day to day basis without all the dramas, and we have to put ourselves first.
Thanks again - Don't beat yourself up. You really are doing an extroidenary job just getting through each day and that's where your energy should be. I did a similar thing to one of my customers who was complaining about her day and it was the straw that broke my back. I was mortified when out of my mouth came .. ' you know, you have nothing to moan about ' I'm being treated for breast cancer and that's what a shit day is like'! .. Needless to say she was horrified , walked out with tears in her eyes to return with flowers and chocolates for me. .. I felt terrible but we are now friends :)
- Yep. Your not alone. I just did a similar thing, only worse cos it was with family. I've was diagnosed at the end of September 2017, had a mastectomy in November and am about to have my last dose of chemo tomorrow.
During this time not one member of said family has been to see me, emailed or phoned me directly, although they have contacted my husband.
To cut a long story short, I totally lost my temper the other day and told them to go to buggery. Umm agh. Not sure how to go forward from here.
