Shifting priorities
I am just past two years from BC. It is only now that everything has hit me so deeply. What I had, what happened to the before me, losing friends, so many things just falling away on...
Forum Discussion
Hi @JSN,
It does take a long while and the cloudy fog of doom can creep up when you least expect it. If it's any consolation I've found the third year a little easier. Year one is just a write off with all the treatment and changes but I guess youre so busy that year it zooms past while you're in a zombie like state just trying to get through. I would never want to repeat those 8 -10 months after treatment. Ever. That's when the shock sets in I think.
Year 2 is where you start to reflect on things, get angry, get sad, try to work out how to get around and deal with side effects. Grieve for changed relationships with partners. Being scared of every ache and pain, recurrence etc etc. A year of experimentation that's so full of emotions it's just ridiculous. Everbody gets told do something for yourself, do something that makes you happy. What? How? Sometimes you have even forgotten what it is that makes you happy.
For me, year 2 to three has been far better. I have found what works and what doesn't. Sure, there is as @Zoffiel puts it "a perfect storm" of things that pile up every so often and knock you for a six. But it gets a bit easier and quicker to dig your self out of the hole.
It's a bloody hard slog though and takes a lot of energy to keep pushing forward. Finding that level of mental energy is no mean feat either.
Everyone responds and deals with these thing differently but you can see a common thread amongst the posts.
One thing I do think often is that if it comes back how upset would I be at myself for wasting this time being sad. At the beginning I just tried to build on the moments, not the whole day, just those fleeting moments of the day that are good and you forget for a few minutes or seconds......hold on to them and look for a few more each day.
Good on you for taking a break and I so hope that cloudy fog lifts for you soon.
xoxoxoxo
It does take a long while and the cloudy fog of doom can creep up when you least expect it. If it's any consolation I've found the third year a little easier. Year one is just a write off with all the treatment and changes but I guess youre so busy that year it zooms past while you're in a zombie like state just trying to get through. I would never want to repeat those 8 -10 months after treatment. Ever. That's when the shock sets in I think.
Year 2 is where you start to reflect on things, get angry, get sad, try to work out how to get around and deal with side effects. Grieve for changed relationships with partners. Being scared of every ache and pain, recurrence etc etc. A year of experimentation that's so full of emotions it's just ridiculous. Everbody gets told do something for yourself, do something that makes you happy. What? How? Sometimes you have even forgotten what it is that makes you happy.
For me, year 2 to three has been far better. I have found what works and what doesn't. Sure, there is as @Zoffiel puts it "a perfect storm" of things that pile up every so often and knock you for a six. But it gets a bit easier and quicker to dig your self out of the hole.
It's a bloody hard slog though and takes a lot of energy to keep pushing forward. Finding that level of mental energy is no mean feat either.
Everyone responds and deals with these thing differently but you can see a common thread amongst the posts.
One thing I do think often is that if it comes back how upset would I be at myself for wasting this time being sad. At the beginning I just tried to build on the moments, not the whole day, just those fleeting moments of the day that are good and you forget for a few minutes or seconds......hold on to them and look for a few more each day.
Good on you for taking a break and I so hope that cloudy fog lifts for you soon.
xoxoxoxo