Normal

@InkPetal. Someone calls for group hug for me and I'm likely to throw them all into the sea, as opposed to ordering them  to get in under their own steam ( a la some of your more memorable posts, no offence meant @iserbrown )

Seriously though, when I was debating if this was the place for me, seeing your posts made me realise it wasn't just a site for those who are touchy feely and endlessly supportive while behaving impeccably. It's a place where angry women with wicked senses if humour can hone their skills of repartee while letting off a bit of steam and sharing their experiences. There are too many stereotypes associated with this disease, thanks for showing me that bold and irreverent is not just acceptable, its valuable.

@Zoffiel that's what I love about your posts and or comments of other posts, spunk, reality, saying it as it is!  BTW I love hugs but I probably would prefer individual hugs!

@InkPetal I have been badly depressed in the past. Can you get away for an overnight break . I apologise if you are trying to make ends meet. Its not trying to get away as actually taking timeout from home. . I remember meeting someone who had a heavy diagnosis. She was finding solace in attending musical concerts as it transported her to another world. I do get it if your feeling low hard to do anything or get any motivation. There is no quick fix. just saying hi and thinking of you.

@inkpetal Firstly I want to say what an absolutely beautiful girl you are!!! love that pic of you in the hat!! I couldnt agree with you more about that appointment, I absolutely recommend it! and I do think it will make a difference, because its someone completely objective and they have a way of putting things back to you that you dont necessarily see yourself. I know when Ive seen mine in the past, its been so incredibly helpful.

I can totally relate to the Chemo Brain...I am alot older than you, but I too feel impaired, my brain does not work the way it used to, I cannot remember things, my biggest problem is I cannot get my thoughts out of my mouth in a timely manner!! Its like a God Damn delay!! My kids 17 & 19 noticed it ages ago said its bizarre!! I cannot imagine how you are managing whilst trying to study! Are there different times of the day that are better?? I find early mornings Im probably at my brightest! mentally. I think too I have considered myself impaired, even to the point of feeling quite vulnerable, my fitness has completely gone...its been a hell of a road back. But Im too scared to even go for a walk alone, because I feel fragile...its like how ridiculous! Like you, you ask..is this the new normal?? because its shit! All the positivity in the world doesnt change your reality. So I would say to you, in those moments, ditch everything! all the thoughts and go and do something for you, something nurturing even if its just a walk or a bath, something that quietens you in the moment where you feel peaceful. Then look at one thing at a time, as I know everything together feels like a mountain, impossible to climb. 

Let us know how your appointment goes! like you I dont want to believe this is our new normal...because it has to get better than this....or just maybe it will be a different normal but one we can find a way to navigate around our challenges. Hugs Melinda xo

Sometimes I forget to check in at the activity posts but I did check today and sent a comment to @InkPetal

:hushed: Oh wow, I am so touched, this is amazing. I have no idea what to say, other than thank you all with all my heart of course.

(@Cosette_BCNA Hello! :heart: @ mentions aren't showing for me in "all notifications", is this normal? I don't usually check them that way but none of these mentions sent me notifications ...I accidentally found this thread while browsing :confused: )

The doldrums is right @iserbrown, normal is so far out of reach it's like I used to live in a fairytale. Hmm. Book idea; "Princess" oblivious to the privileges of her normality has the rug pulled out from under her and she finally appreciates the amazing an advantage in life just being able to *insert common thing* gave her. The ending that the princess goes on to self deprecate ad finem is depressing though, one more reason to try for something more fun for the whole family.

I had no idea @Zoffiel, That's so awesome to hear. We get enough flat speak, mouth words, and humdrum from the people around us, you know, treading egg shells, being maddeningly polite and minimizing everything happening that I just try to be like the women who kept me coming back here too, something flawed but genuine and hoping they don't get sent to the naughty corner for swears :joy:. 

Thank you so much @fairydust, I'd love to get away, and maybe will down the line but right now I'm still desperately trying to scrape passes in at least two of my units at university. I just can't retain information and it's driving me - well - quite literally insane. You're spot on about motivation. Once it became apparent that my work wasn't paying off and would continue to yield no fruit my motivation plummeted, which of course makes doing the things I have to do even harder. I hadn't even thought about that aspect. Thank you so much for your input and heart-felt thoughts.

@melclarity Nuuuuuuuu *hides face in a bush* All these kind words, I hit breaking point of dealing with compliments :lol:. That's exactly how I see it, psychologists are are professional mirrors that coax you into seeing yourself better. To the rest - YES! It's like being a computer with awful lag and having glitches! "You know, that thing. What's the word. Adjective. Why did I say that, it's a, um, ffff, an, a verb. Someth- hey what were we talking about? Oh, I was? Do you know what I was saying?" ...evidently this is just how 'conversations' go for me now, sometimes I just laugh because it's so damn embarrassing. :weary: Thank you so much for sharing your experience with this. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it's also comforting in the most selfish way to know that it's not just me. :( :heart:

@Brenda5 I will jump over to Activity! xo Thank you


Thank you so much @iserbrown for this wonderful space, and everyone for these wonderful words, it's put a smile on my face that's been missing for a while.

@InkPetal, I'll check it out!

If I am mentioned I get an email notification which I check every morning. I get a link to the thread and visit it first.

@inkpetal just wanted to let you know that you are an inspiration to many of us on here. We get how shit this is. Hope things get a little brighter.

@inkpetal Hey gorgeous girl! Well just know you have all of us right here, right behind you, understanding, caring and supporting and carrying you !! Many hugs Melinda xo