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FLClover
Member
5 years ago

NED and fantastic medical teams 💕

Today I am officially NED 😃🤩🥳🥰. 
On the 4 Dec, I finally had my left nipple removed, and today at my post op appointment results came back clear. After my nipple/skin sparing mastectomies in April, it was the last thing that needed removing as it had traces of DCIS. This surgery was supposed to be done in April, but long story short, I had problems with my first surgeon (anxiety and trust issues) and so I sought a second opinion, and consequently changed surgeons. Then, under my new surgeon’s care,I saw a fertility specialist, med onc, had bilateral radiation, and finally two weeks ago the nipple removal, which was done under local anaesthetic at my request. It was in a proper operating theatre, just that I was awake the whole time. And it was one of the most positive and interesting experiences I’ve had. There was no fear as I fully trust my new surgeon. She answered all my questions throughout, and we even had a good laugh about a mole I also had removed. Overall, it went remarkably well and I went home feeling really happy. Sometimes, I feel I have to pinch myself to make sure it wasn’t just a daydream, like I was having back in April and May when I was in my depression, not sleeping well, not eating well, and with heightened anxiety, all caused by my first surgeon in relation to this surgery. The way he wanted it done made no sense, it seemed unnecessarily invasive, I kept being told different things, and I got absolutely no information or support about my cancer in general. Meetings were rushed and there was no empathy or compassion. Also, he refused all other options of treatment I suggested, saying they were not possible. 
As soon as I saw my second surgeon, things changed. I immediately started sleeping well
again, anxiety eased considerably and depression lifted completely. I was given loads of info, different treatment options and meetings were long, with detailed and very patient explanations. All my questions were answered thoroughly and there was genuine empathy and care. Polar opposites. 
Now, I no longer fear hospitals, and my trauma around surgery has eased considerably. Every time I have an appointment, I actually look forward to it and don’t stress and lose sleep. All my concerns are validated, and decisions respected. I get detailed answers as to why something needs to, or can’t be done. Also, all my suspicions about the things that didn’t make sense with first surgeon were proven right.
 I know that this is how it should always be, but unfortunately it’s not. Very definitely not. The treatment I get from my surgeon and her practice manager goes way above anything I could ever have hoped. Seeing them gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling, like the one you get when you hug your favourite teddy bear, or when you’re in front of a beautiful fireplace with a sizzling fire on a cold winter night. The feeling you get when you come ‘home’ 😊. It’s not something you can force, some people just have this gift naturally. I thank the universe that I am lucky enough to have found them (through this forum!) and today to be in this wonderful place emotionally and psychologically, and NED 🥰. And I thank myself that I listened to my intuition, as hard as it was at the time. I have since met many other specialists who are also brilliant. 
This ride has been difficult to say the least, but considering everything, I really can’t complain right now. I hope the universe continues to look out for me, and to keep beautiful people like these in my life (for prevention of further c, not treatment! 😆). I also wish the same to all you lovely ladies, also on this extremely unwanted ride. 
Good luck, don’t rush important decisions, and always listen to your body and intuition, as they know best! 🍀🥰♥️
Mon Xxx