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Tracey62's avatar
Tracey62
Member
9 years ago

It's okay to be really sad

Hi all,

i haven't been on here for months. To be honest it got to the point that I would cry over every post I read. Which was strange because I never cried over my own bc diagnosis or treatment. I've always sucked at dealing with emotions, shove them down, keep busy, get on with life. So in the last few months I've been focusing on getting back to work, pushing myself physically to cope with being on my feet for 12hr shifts, helping my patients and their families deal with their grief and stress.... but ignoring my own.

Today was the BCNA forum in Brisbane and the first guest speaker was a wonderful psychiatrist who spoke on emotional and mental well-being after a breast cancer diagnosis.  I'm a Christian and fully trust God with the outcome of my bc, but I think today was the first time I heard someone say "it's okay to be really sad about what has happened to you". I'm SO SICK of being told 'just be positive', she said we should smack the people who say that to us, but only metaphorically, darn. Every time some one says that it invalidates the feelings of grief and loss and sadness and shock, that are perfectly healthy when confronted with bc. 

So today I'm feeling rather fragile and sooky, and that's ok. It's probably time I allowed myself to start that emotional journey to recovery. 

Thanks for listening to my ramblings,

love, Tracey ??

emotions

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  • Jane221's avatar
    Jane221
    Member
    9 years ago

    Hi Tracey, we sometimes just need to hear the words that validate what we have been / are going through, so I'm glad the session you went to has helped.  

    It's so true that it is OK to feel sad, we need to grieve and to process what has happened and although most if us put on the strong / coping / positive face there are times when we need to be allowed to just say "I feel sad" and for others to just hear us. Best wishes to you. Jane xx

  • rowdy's avatar
    rowdy
    Member
    9 years ago

    Hi Tracey it is tough going back to work and caring for others. I'm a carer in the community and I really struggled going back to work. I also found on Tamoxifan  my anxiety was really bad. I'm now on Arimidex and feel better except the  the bone aches make me feel like a old woman. I remember people telling me how strong I was and it used to annoy me so much. One of sisters was really bad, in the end I told her to stop..

    I'm 3 years next Feb and I still have bad days, I have friends telling me my body has been through alot and so has my mind. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to heal xx