Please do keep writing Holly. You're very articulate. You write very clearly many feelings I have had/am having. I'm sure many others here have had them as well.
Heartbroken is a good word. The old life is gone and we're sitting in the ruins. The new life that will come may be good, worse or OK. We just don't know and we need to grieve first. I have struggled with the enforced change to me that this disease has imposed. I have been deeply resistant and now I just feel lost.
I can feel a retreat from friends and family within myself too. I have read that this is a normal reaction, but it doesn't make it any easier to manage. I look forward to the day when it won't be there.
We're in the trenches knee deep in mud. We have to look up and see that there is blue sky up there, or at least know that it's waiting when the clouds part. K xox
