Forum Discussion
Is that a light at the end of the tunnel??
To me a journey is getting from A to B at a leisurely manner....stopping off for a bit of sight seeing and long lunches.....what I have been through since 28th March has been a fast track nightmare heading for the chasm that has lost the bridge!! Oh I know that sounds melodramatic but I honestly don't know where last 4 months have gone. Started with Breast scan bus and the lovely technician explaining that if there is any problems I will called up for further investigation ( this is while she is holding my hand and patting with the other one - I smiled and said thanks and was thinking uh oh..oh well!! :) ) Further investigations the next week, 100k away, Bilateral lumpectomy followed, then oops DCIS hidden lets go mastectomy on one side...other was fine...just scar tissue from Lumpectomy 25 years ago! daughter and I decided to call breast that was leaving the building "Doris"..texted son post-op and said...Doris has left the building ..he came back...who is Doris?? Oops forgot to tell him her name...lol Last drain out a week following discharge...damn..infection and fluid build up...Iv Antibiotics and who needs needles to draw fluid out...its decided to gush out by itself!! Arm exercises not good enough...get thee to the Physio!! Oh the pain!! I'm sure the Physio degree includes a Unit of Fiendishness 101. :) So next step is Chemo .....and its starts today. I've arrived at the chasm but I'm seeing the bridge over it!! I am surprisingly calm (at the moment) I am not prepared to leave this world without a damn big fight! So lets see where I am after 6 treatments over 3 months! I haven't been alone with support from sisters , mother (shes 88 god love her!) friends and of course husband and my kids. - Even grandkids (4 - 10) know I have a "sore arm" and I get so many more hugs and kisses :) So my purpose in writing all this is I guess I needed to put it out into the universe that I have had pain, tears, fears and felt alone. I think this is my letter to me saying...get going girlfriend the next step has arrived and its time to take it...the bridge is there....trust!!
79 Replies
- Thanks Zoffiel. Not sure being an ex-nurse actually helps...Never did work Oncology and I think a little bit a knowledge can be a dangerous thing. ;) Always used humour to get me through the days....my goodness... my "Sisters-in- Charge" when I was training were always pulling this nurse aside for laughing or smiling too much. lol Even before I retired it wasn't unusual to get 'the evil eye' for laughing too loudly! My "woman of mental health" told me to forget I was a nurse...be the patient...allow the girls to do their job. So that's what I am....the woman I always said I would be...the Blue rinse (not just yet ) old lady who is going to sit on the buzzer all day and say..."NURSE!! >:) My lovely ladies (some of whom I used to work with) have already threatened to pull the buzzer out of the wall!! ;) Thanks for advice....will have to chase Endone...good stuff!! :D Hope you are doing okay xxxx
- Thanks Arpie I do. It is blood letting day unfortunately but I'm taking opportunity to call in on Oncology Unit to clarify a couple of things...first outing in a week (hehehehe) AND I'm going shopping, albeit to view the local Wig and Headwear Library. lol Past few days have been an experience plus. Got it all written down, mainly to be able to re-read and remind myself what to look forward to. :# Hope you too are doing well. Hugs xxx
- Thinking of you. Hope you are feeling better today xxxx
Good on you @scorpio101 Your nurse brain will be useful, as will the potential of dark humour that comes with it. Sometimes, when I was really miserable during chemo, I took the advice of That Poor Woman (my mental health professional) and took a step outside myself and thought 'Isn't that interesting?' It is interesting; the way we go from feeling we've got a grip on the situation to going all floppy and desperate, sometimes several times in the one day. Rinse and repeat.
Coconut oil is a very helpful addition to the chemo diet. A little bit of lube for both ends, so to speak.
BTW, mashed potato is the bomb. That, cheese toasties, soda water and a wee bit of Endone (if it agrees with you) can keep you going during the hell days. Good luck. Mxx
- Hi @Scorpio101
You don't need a light at the end of the tunnel ! After reading your post I am confident your wonderful sense of humour will get you through, as long as there are kittens instead of elephants.
Writing this period of time down is the best thing to do as it gets the frustration out and you will be helping others as you go.
Thinking of you - keep up the humour.
:D :D :D - Carbs tend to be incredibly soothing on the tummy. My favourite meal during AC was chopped cherry tomatoes, black olives and garlic sauted in a little oil served with fettucine and a good dollop of basil pesto on top. The flavours were lively enough to cut through the chemo mouth and the pasta was heaven on the stomach.
- Thanks for your responses Sister, Arpie and Rosie. Appreciate the support. I had started to write in a little notebook about each day (Lets be honest here...old habits die hard, I am a retired RN ) but I'm going to create a file in my Office files and at the end of each round I will print them and put them in the file folder they gave me. The 'diary' will then be there for the entire time. I noted my appetite as fair...I had soups and small meat and 3 vege meals. Certainly wasn't in mood for too much but mashed potato really was heaven...lol Registering what to expect, what needs to be done and determined to leave complacency at the back door. :) Thanks again. xx
- Hi there @Scorpio101, glad to hear you have come through days 3 and 4 which sound horrible (inadequate term, I know). Great advice from @arpie about drinking plenty of fluids and persisting with the anti nausea medication. Can I suggest you make a note of the side effects on days 3 & 4 and let your oncologist/treating team know before cycle number 2. The medications can be "tweaked" to improve these symptom now that you know how you were affected by the chemotherapy.
Also you can contact the chemotherapy unit and speak to one of the nurses if you feel shocking and get immediate advice. Best wishes and hope the kittens are more fun than the elephants ;) - Oh dear @Scorpio101 ... I am so sorry it whacked you in the head like that - and how terrific that your other half is so supportive ...... your sense of humour is shining thru! Well done on getting thru this one, girl!
Being your first 'dose' .... hopefully your next one may not be as bad a reaction - but you sort of know what to expect now - the time line & effects ...
Just make sure you take the anti nausea tabs & drink LOTS of water to flush the stuff out of your system a bit quicker.
My Hubby really went off his food during his chemo as he said it all tasted like metal (he was only 50kg so it was imperative he not lose any more weight) so I was dosing him up on whatever he 'fancied' to eat - be it KFC Chicken wraps & their Berry Smoothie (which he loved) or Steak & Kidney pies from the local bakery (we still have them now & then!) Then he took a fancy to my smoked fish pie, which I double dosed with cheese for extra calories for him .... SO .... if you really really like something - stock up on it & eat it whilst you feel like it! ;)
All the best for your ongoing treatment. Make haste slowly! xx - Those first couple of days are so misleading, aren't they. Glad you're coming out of it.
