I thought I was doing okay

I reckon an awful lot of Christmases are like that - a lot of effort for not much joy. I've played it down for decades, without missing a thing -  today was the first time I have gone to a Christmas gathering on Christmas Day for nigh on 40 years! Let it out and realise that it's all too normal at this time of the year (even without bc thrown in). Things may look a lot better tomorrow when all the expectations have died down. Take care.