I thought I was doing okay
I thought I was doing okay. Finished treatment in April. Now part of the short grey hair brigade-hair has grown back grey and wirey so growing some length is not an option unless I want to look...
Forum Discussion
I've had several dark patches in my recovery journey. Days when I didn't go to work as I couldn't stop crying.
Days when I think "I will die from this disease eventually" and days I truly believe I'm cured. I do know hearing of others with recurrence and losing their battle triggers it. Not in your face...oh this is why I am like this...but a gradual slide into sadness and feelings of hopelessness. ..and just bloody angry too...the thought of soldiers on the war path being picked off one by one by a sniper..is what comes to my mind.
The trouble is...rarely do others talk about the person who had breast cancer 20 years ago and survived. It's only on here we occasionally hear of it. Yes support groups might too...but I suspect many are filled with people under current or ongoing treatment. The others have eventually picked up their shattered confident self and moved on to this new normal life we live.
So lovely. ..have the holiday. Take stock of now. Enjoy the scenery, the smells, the food (and wine) just enjoy being. My recent holiday I did just this. I had a bloody horrid intrusive thought on one day ...well if I die from this...at least I had this holiday ...but ...it was just that, an intrusive thought, which I quickly dismissed, and deliberately decided I would give it no more of my time...and bring my self back to enjoying my holiday.
Most likely this will pass. But if you find the sadness and anxiety continues do seek help. A few sessions will help get you back on the path of ...just being. X
Days when I think "I will die from this disease eventually" and days I truly believe I'm cured. I do know hearing of others with recurrence and losing their battle triggers it. Not in your face...oh this is why I am like this...but a gradual slide into sadness and feelings of hopelessness. ..and just bloody angry too...the thought of soldiers on the war path being picked off one by one by a sniper..is what comes to my mind.
The trouble is...rarely do others talk about the person who had breast cancer 20 years ago and survived. It's only on here we occasionally hear of it. Yes support groups might too...but I suspect many are filled with people under current or ongoing treatment. The others have eventually picked up their shattered confident self and moved on to this new normal life we live.
So lovely. ..have the holiday. Take stock of now. Enjoy the scenery, the smells, the food (and wine) just enjoy being. My recent holiday I did just this. I had a bloody horrid intrusive thought on one day ...well if I die from this...at least I had this holiday ...but ...it was just that, an intrusive thought, which I quickly dismissed, and deliberately decided I would give it no more of my time...and bring my self back to enjoying my holiday.
Most likely this will pass. But if you find the sadness and anxiety continues do seek help. A few sessions will help get you back on the path of ...just being. X