Gosh @JSN ... i think we can all relate to everything you have written above. I hope your panic attack has subsided now .... it is probaby one of the few things that i havent experienced in the last 12 months + since my own detection.
Deep breaths. Take one day at a time ... and maybe start packing for your neat overseas holiday ....maybe buy a couple of new outfits and celebrate with hubby getting thru this year in one piece. He has been thru it as well and may even have similar fears .... are you able to chat with him about it?
Ive had more meltdowns in the last 3 weeks than the entire 13 months since detection .... so can really feel your stress and emotions. Xx
You can do this ... I hope your work colleague and buddy are being well looked after ... you just need to look after yourself at this point in time xx
Take care xxx thinking of you xx