Counselling

Hope your appt today went well @Ktre - maybe try & look at your scars as 'battle scars' - you faced the monster & battled it & won! xx 

Good luck with your test results @Ktre…it’s all a bit of a whirlwind at the beginning isn’t it! 

Thanks so much everyone for your support and advice, I will definitely look into all that you have suggested and will touch base at the end of the week

Just a thought - Do you have access through your local,library to a on line site for books and magazines called LIBBY .I agree with Arpie and sue_w that Liz’s book and blogs are excellent value and the Liz O’Riordan book is available on LIBBY online to borrow .

Hi @Ktre, this is the hardest time as it is so overwhelming and the unknown treatment ahead is all scary. You can do it, you are strong as evidenced by reaching out here. Everyone has given good advice to you above. One step at a time, keep busy if you can and get some walks in if possible but also allow yourself to rest and recover. 

Take hubby or someone to your appointments. I took my husband and it was helpful as sometimes it's hard to take it all in. Write your questions down for when you see your dr. Take notes if you need to. Ask the dr about counselling. It is important and it helps to process it all.  Once you have a treatment plan you can build the online tool to suit your needs. You can always phone bcna and someone would help you set it up. Having a treatment plan made me feel like I was getting somewhere. 

My other suggestion is think about who you share all this with, you need people who support you and if friends or family want to help, take that help up. Even ask for help that you want or need. Do you need help with hanging up washing or housework or meals? If people offer just accept it as it can be hard for your whole family too.

Take time out with hubby. He loves you and he probably has no idea how to help. Give yourself time to adjust and hubby too. Does hubby need to talk to someone as well or together. Just another idea. 

Stay in touch and let us know how it goes and what your treatment will be going forward. It is different for everyone as everyone's cancer is different. 

Best wishes and sending you a big hug xxx 🌻

Oh @Ktre, What a wonderful strong woman you are to come on and ask your questions. I know you feel very fragile right now but believe me, you are so much stronger than you think.
 What your husband sees when he looks at you is so much more than a missing breast. You are the woman he loves fighting to be healthy. Your scar doesn't say illness and defeat, your scar says 'I'm still here and by fuck, I'm fighting as hard as I can. There is beauty in that, it can bring you closer together but it does take work and open discussion between the both of you. Breaking the initial 'ice' can be hard. 
I used dark humour, now I have never named my girls before, but I said to my husband, "Well now you've only got Pinky to play with. Perky's gone" It made us laugh and cry and opened up the conversation. If you can, be open and honest with your hubby about how you're feeling. 
Have a look at the links, especially the LIz O'Riordan one and look into counselling too if you want. Accept all help that is available to you, but remember, advice, including mine, is just advice, do what feels right for you. 
You are in a good place here on the BCNA network with loads of love and support, reach out any time you need.

Hugs to you xxx
 

Hi @Ktre   So sorry to see you here - the group no-one really wants to join.  I hope you are recovering well from the surgery.  Do you have a buddy with you at your appointments for moral support! An extra set of ears is always good ... plus consider recording your next ones on your phone, for the record as it is easy to miss bits in the meeting.

Feel to check out this post - we even manage to have some laughs as well xx

 You are not alone in feeling overwhelmed, upset, even angry ... your Surgeon’s office should be able to point you to a Counsellor- but you can start off by ringing the Helpline here (see the Blue Banner at the top of the page) 

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-our-new-members#latest

And definitely have a look at the Liz O’Riordan link - a UK breast surgeon who had BC x 2. She admits that she really had no idea of the depth that of emotions and fears that her patients were going thru - until she was diagnosed herself! ... well worth a read. 

Try and keep busy doing stuff that you are able to in the lead up to your next appt ... 

It takes a while to ‘get back to normal’, but it WILL happen!  Make sure you get out and have fun with your hubby and kids .... maybe take up a new hobby?  Get back to your old ones?

take care and all the best for your appointments xx

@Ktre

Here's a couple of links from the BCNA website.   You may find the podcasts helpful 

https://www.bcna.org.au/about-us/information-for-health-professionals/bcna-webcasts-available-on-demand/

https://www.bcna.org.au/health-wellbeing/physical-wellbeing/exercise-and-staying-fit/

Counselling can help many people - the tricky part is to find the right person. Your GP or oncologist may be able to recommend someone. It can help too if you can identify the issues that cause you particular concern - it often feels like ‘all of it’ but there are usually key matters that benefit from calm discussion with an experienced outsider. It may also help to think about navigating forward to normal. None of us can go back, this is an unforeseen part of your life but it is a part. It doesn’t need to rule your life though. Take one day at a time, and remember that your own well-being is essential, before you can assist the wellbeing of others. Best wishes for the next stage of your treatment.