Today’s Mood: cranky with a touch of psycho

Stargirl and kmakn 

I feel where your both coming from , I tried to set myself little goals everyday , but it's hard and disapointing when you can only do half , so then I think ,ok you've done half , grateful for that.

I think learning to deal with your own expectations is the hardest, yes empathy, gratitude and mindfulness all help , it's just you can't do all 3 at the same time, that's my take.

So hang in there , and just do one day at a time and I know happiness and contentment come from within , but a bit of external sources can help.

It’s a tough gig @StarGirl. Please try not to be so hard on yourself. Give yourself a break & get that family of yours helping you!! 
Sending hugs xx

Haha thanks K, while I often do feel mightily pissed off with the world in general, I like most people individually 🤣. I think it boils down to the fact that while it’s good not to be dead. This endless cycle of treatments means you can never quite put it behind you. People understand cured and they understand terminal. But generally just can’t quite get their heads around this limbo we here all live in. Secondly my boys are quite often self centred little shits who think it’s funny to jam cutlery down the drain, pee all over the bathroom floor and start all out brawls every 2 minutes. To be fair they’re only 6 and 8 (2 and 4 when I was diagnosed with MBC de novo (liver mets) and have no idea about my health (nor do most people as I do a very good impression of a fit and healthy person - cold caps were a great help with achieving this!). Sometimes though, it just all seems a bit much. I’m not unhappy I don’t think so much as just tired. But that might also be the current radiotherapy I’m
just at the pointy end of? 

It’s the most powerful msg ever @kmakm!!! 
I’m sure nobody could hate you, we all love you even if we don’t know you, if you know what I mean 😊

At the risk of mightily pissing you off, long experience has taught me that happiness will never come from external sources. It has to come from within. I struggle with this, but the trauma of the last few years of my life has herded me in the direction of seeking contentment in a different way. It's a work in progress but I think I'm heading in the right direction...

Because of the ferocious spread and increase ob depression aand anxiety in Australia, the school my kids go to is introducing The Resilience Project this year. I went to a talk given by the founder on Tuesday night, and it was brilliant. It's not airy fairy stuff, it's evidence based, and is being used in schools and sporting clubs all over Australia with great success. The Aussie Netball team use it, as do several AFL clubs. Dusty Martin is a mega fan!

It boils down to this:

Gratitude
Empathy
Mindfulness

and takes 10 minutes a day.

I know you've probably heard all this before but if you're interested, check them out.

Please don't hate me!! I hope things can improve. K xox


A screen shot from their website: