Does the mental pain for having had breast cancer ever leave. I know I am not coping with having had cancer, having 2 mastectomies, having had chemo, living with the nephropathy pain, having a very uncomfortable expander in while waiting for the next surgery, having to work full time through all my treatment, being bullied at work because I had days off for treatment, a husband that offers NO support at all and now family issues with my siblings and an aging mother ......... its all too much and people think because my cancer happened in 2018 I am all good and lucky to be alive and while I agree with that the emotional and physical pain is over whelming. I live in country Vic with no support group near let alone professional. I had a physiologist but she left and I do an another appointment next week but I have to start all over again in explaining it. I have no regular doctor as our town only has locum and while they have been good again I have to explain everything ever time go. I do know if I didn't have children I would no longer be experiencing this constant pain.

Dear @Barks34 I think your GP, locum or not, might consider a referral for some psychological advice and support. A cancer diagnosis, even in the best of circumstances, can mess with your head. You sound like you have far too much to carry right now and need some advice on how to deal with your treatment on top of a lot of work and family issues. Prioritising in these circumstances is never easy but needs to be done. When you feel at the end of your tether, everything is worse. You need some assistance in breaking that cycle of mental pain. Cancer has a nasty habit of revitalising old problems and wounds. Think of physical wounds - you’d want a doctor, antiseptic, bandages. Your mind and spirit need something similar too. Best wishes.

Sounds like you need a holiday away from it all even if its for just a long weekend. Any chance of it?

@Barks34 ... I don’t think the mental anguish ever really goes completely, but I am only 2 years in myself, so not an authority on the subject. You’ve had your fair share of surgery, treatment and side effects .... and being bullied whilst working thru your treatment as well ... is intolerable. You have done well under difficult circumstances. Xx If you are feeling stressed and ‘down’ between your appointments, give the helpline here a call ... 1800500258 and chat with them about copin* mechanisms.@Brenda5 mentioned a holiday .... have you contacted the Otis Foundation to see if there is a retreat that you may visit? Take the kids and have a break in a new area.https://www.otisfoundation.org.au/directoryAll the best xxx

Please call the BCNA helpline. Stay connected to this forum, you are not alone. Xxxxxxxxx

Ditto the comments from @arpie and @Afraser.There might be some BCNA member ladies who could assist you. Are you happy to tell your area ?This is a crappy saga for all and for many reasons so do put your hand out for support here.

PAIN | BCNA Online Network

20 Replies

Dory65
Member
6 years ago
Hi Barks34,
Just wondering how you are and whether you have you been able to get some help from your locum or BC Nurse or the BCNA helpline. Thinking of you and wishing you well. :)
Dory65
Member
6 years ago
Hi Barks34,
I just want add that I get it. I suffer from depression/anxiety and take medication (just 20mg per day) which takes the edge off it. I am in the middle of swapping to one that will not mess with Tamoxifen. Traumatic life events can "trigger" depression. In the past, when in crisis (before cancer), I have had cognitive behaviour therapy. My GP made a Mental Health Care Plan https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/mental-health-care-plan which means you get a Medicare rebate for part of the cost. Given your location, maybe you could access a therapist online? Your GP needs to address this ASAP!
Zoffiel
Member
6 years ago
I'm hearing you, @Barks34 I'm three years out from my recurrence and just starting to get a grip on my life again. It absolutely sucks and I don't think that anyone who hasn't gone through the whole miserable performance has any idea what it can be like.
Lack of services, and inconsistent access, in regional areas makes everything so much harder. I've got a monster folder that has all my tests, appointments (past and present) and a spread sheet summary of previous treatments and issues in it. It can help to be able to pass that spreadsheet over (providing your health professional has the time to read it) so you don't have to spit the whole shitty narrative out every time you speak to someone new. Hang in there, it does get better, but it's a long haul. Mxx
primek
Member
6 years ago
It does get better. At some stage you start to plan ahead and believe there is life after cancer. It takes time though. Continue with the mental health plan option. It will be good to get it out. And blog here. Always someone listening. X
Beryl_C_
Member
6 years ago
Please call the BCNA helpline. Stay connected to this forum, you are not alone. Xxxxxxxxx
kezmusc
Member
6 years ago
Hi @Barks34

So sorry to hear you are feeling so low. The drama of diagnosis and treatment is enough to handle without all the other things added in. A holiday sounds like a plan if you can do it. On your own might be be best.
It is unfortunate, but understandable to an extent, that most people think you get treated then you're all better now. They know no better. We know that is not how it works. I think we all agree that we are "lucky" to have found the rotten thing when we did and we are greatful of course. It does not, however, mean it is any easier to deal with the fall out that follows.
Time does make things better but dealing with other outside, stressful influences will make it a very long haul indeed. Possibly time to cull anybody creating more drain on you than required??????
Please keep talking on here and definitely call the helpline when you need it.
Everyone is here for you lovely. You are not alone. xoxoxoxoxo
BlackWidow
Member
6 years ago
Ditto the comments from @arpie and @Afraser.
There might be some BCNA member ladies who could assist you. Are you happy to tell your area ?
This is a crappy saga for all and for many reasons so do put your hand out for support here.
arpie
Member
6 years ago
@Barks34 ... I don’t think the mental anguish ever really goes completely, but I am only 2 years in myself, so not an authority on the subject. You’ve had your fair share of surgery, treatment and side effects .... and being bullied whilst working thru your treatment as well ... is intolerable. You have done well under difficult circumstances. Xx

If you are feeling stressed and ‘down’ between your appointments, give the helpline here a call ... 1800500258 and chat with them about copin* mechanisms.

@Brenda5 mentioned a holiday .... have you contacted the Otis Foundation to see if there is a retreat that you may visit? Take the kids and have a break in a new area.
https://www.otisfoundation.org.au/directory

All the best xxx
Afraser
Member
6 years ago
Dear @Barks34

I think your GP, locum or not, might consider a referral for some psychological advice and support. A cancer diagnosis, even in the best of circumstances, can mess with your head. You sound like you have far too much to carry right now and need some advice on how to deal with your treatment on top of a lot of work and family issues. Prioritising in these circumstances is never easy but needs to be done. When you feel at the end of your tether, everything is worse. You need some assistance in breaking that cycle of mental pain. Cancer has a nasty habit of revitalising old problems and wounds. Think of physical wounds - you’d want a doctor, antiseptic, bandages. Your mind and spirit need something similar too. Best wishes.
Brenda5
Member
6 years ago
Sounds like you need a holiday away from it all even if its for just a long weekend. Any chance of it?

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