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Rob's avatar
Rob
Member
15 years ago

Misunderstanding boss's!!!

Hi everyone

I was diagnosed on the 18th January and had a wide excision and sentinal node removed last Thursday, am now just waiting for the big day of the results!! They say patience is a virtue !! I have already learnt we need that with Breast Cancer.

Was just wondering if any ladies have had issues with misunderstanding boss's when they have been diagnosed. I work in a small workplace and am the manager ( it is actually a GP surgery so you think they would know better!). My boss could not understand what I was upset about , why I would need any more than a couple of days off as she said you are only getting a lump out!  This was amoungst other things she said. It devastated me that someone whom I thought cared about me could be so hard. I ended up walking out and told her I wouldnt be back for 4 weeks as I could not function with that attitude and me trying to make a decision about what kind of surgery I should go for and getting my head  around that my life had just changed.

I am unsure how I am going to face going back there as I am feeling angry and hurt.

Any suggestions

R

 

 

10 Replies

  • moira1's avatar
    moira1
    Member
    15 years ago

    yes tanya the hats to cover up the comb over at the front, after the op, but its growing in a bit better now lol

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Robyn

    Yep Moira summed it up nicely.

     

    P.S.  @ Moira - Lookin pretty foxy in your new profile pic :)

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Robyn

    Yep Moira summed it up nicely.

     

    P.S.  @ Moira - Lookin pretty foxy in your new profile pic :)

  • moira1's avatar
    moira1
    Member
    15 years ago

    hi again robyn, you are at the early stages, and of course you are going to go through lots of emotions, i always thought i a was a positive strong person, but going through the journey, i was not in control of, made me see differently, so i locked the doors, cried and got my husband to take all phone calls and visitors, if i wasnt up to it, he let them know, and anyone who is still standing at the end and understands are your true friends, so concentrate on you for the next few months, and please let us know how you are doing, even if it is to cry, shout and bawl Take Care Moira

  • Rob's avatar
    Rob
    Member
    15 years ago

    Thankyou Tanya and Moira

    You have helped me to pick myself up and focus on whats important. I have so many wonderful people surrounding me that you are right I shouldnt be focusing on the ones that arent.

    I will calm myself and take each day as it comes then I'm sure the decision will come to me about what to do.

    I am usually such a happy positive lady and the past 3 weeks has sent me into such a spin I feel I have lost that somewhere. I need too & will get that back. Especially now I have joined this site it puts everything in perspective - reading that there are other ladies going through all the same emotions and feelings.

    Take care

    Robyn

     

     

  • moira1's avatar
    moira1
    Member
    15 years ago

    welcome to our little group of positive thinkers (well as much as we can be), here's hoping your treatment will start soonm then you can get your mind on the healing. as for negative people like tanya said clear them out of your life, if this is the way your boss treats you, i would hate to be one of her patients. At the beginning we are all scared and want to change things in our life, but when things settle we see them differently, so take your sick time as much as you need and are entitled to, then decide what you want to do, but most of all, you are the important one at the moment, so concetrate on yourself, and surround yourself with supportive people. One thing i have learnt on my journey. good luck and take care, and soon you like us will be helping others on here with support. take care and let us know how you are going. Moira

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Robyn

    I was fortunate enough to listen to Jim Steins speak at a BCNA conference.  At the time I had no clue as to who he even was (still not real sure, think he is AFL or something).  but he spoke of his cancer journey and early on he made the decision to cut the people out of his life that were negative and did not give him 100%.  He is a very positive man and had such a calm, peace about him.  I often think of his words when I am listening to people ramble on about "small stuff"  and I think that my life is wonderful and precious and my time is really important now so I cant waste it on people that aren't worth your time.

    Please know I am not telling you to quit, think it through, but also know that you are a strong, wonderful women (we all are) that is facing a very difficult time of her life,  You will come out stronger trust me (I used to be a wuss).

    Take care,  Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a present.  So live the best life you have now.

    Tanya

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    15 years ago

    Hi Robyn

    I was fortunate enough to listen to Jim Steins speak at a BCNA conference.  At the time I had no clue as to who he even was (still not real sure, think he is AFL or something).  but he spoke of his cancer journey and early on he made the decision to cut the people out of his life that were negative and did not give him 100%.  He is a very positive man and had such a calm, peace about him.  I often think of his words when I am listening to people ramble on about "small stuff"  and I think that my life is wonderful and precious and my time is really important now so I cant waste it on people that aren't worth your time.

    Please know I am not telling you to quit, think it through, but also know that you are a strong, wonderful women (we all are) that is facing a very difficult time of her life,  You will come out stronger trust me (I used to be a wuss).

    Take care,  Yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery and today is a present.  So live the best life you have now.

    Tanya

  • Rob's avatar
    Rob
    Member
    15 years ago

    Thank you for your words of wisdom Tanya, & I think you are very right she is  to wrapped up in her own stuff to care about me. And no there is no chance its benign , I told her its invasive ductal carcinoma I am just waiting to find out now if they got clear margins and whether it has gone to my lymph nodes.

    Right now I want to quit and not even think about her so as I can stop sweating this stuff, but then I worry how will I  find another job while I am going through treament.

    But you know something , sitting here thinking about what you said and what others have said to me, I have been through some tough things  in my life and come out stronger, this is just another one of those times, and I should be positive about whats in front for me not scared.

    Thank you again

    Robyn

  • Tanya's avatar
    Tanya
    Member
    15 years ago

    There is one thing for sure that your cancer journey will teach you is that there are some things in life that are worth  fighting for, some people that are worth your love and understanding and some things things/people that quite frankly need to be cut lose.

    At a time like this you need to surround yourself with people that will love you (warts n all), support you (even if your opinions differ from theirs) and have your best interest at heart.   

    Maybe your boss is assuming that until the results are in it is possibly benign?  Is that a possibility?  Lots of lumps turn out to be nothing?  Or maybe she is just so wrapped up in her own stuff  to care about you.

    Dont sweat the small stuff, there is assistance available if you were to quit your job.

     

    Good luck with your decision, but at a time like this you should be concentrating all your energy on yourself and not losing sleep over her comments.

    Tanya