Conversation with my GP and Diagnosed with breast cancer yesterday at 46 years old. When they called and suggested I have a support person attend it was a bit of a give away. However i was still hopeful it was all benign. This is the very beginning of my journey in which many incredible women have been. I am seeing a surgeon today and further scans and tests to follow to determine staging and treatment. 3am and I can't sleep with so many what ifs running through my mind. I would love to seek advice for this incredibly early stage, what questions to ask my doctor? What self care did you do that you found helpful? What supports did you have in place that worked for you? What would you do differently if you could? I guess I am in a land of limbo for a few weeks and desperately trying to have a positive focus on what's in my control.

So sorry to see you joining us here, @Ali78 ... we can all remember when they 'got the news' ..... I was out on my kayak, fishing (having already made a 'follow up' appointment after my biopsy) so when the GPs office rang me & suggested I book an appointment .... I knew too. It is so confronting and confusing (as you look & FEEL healthy) but this little sucker is growing sneakily without our knowledge .... so needs to come out.Where abouts are you? (Suburb/city/town) We may have members nearby who can point you to specific support groups and services in your area. (Go to your profile & just add your region.)Whack up any questions that you may have .... we'll do our best to answer them honestly and help ease your journey. I'd suggest you listen to the Charlotte Tottman podcasts of her own diagnosis/surgery/recovery - she is a specialist Breast Cancer Counsellor who was diagnosed herself about 5 years ago - and she was surprised that her own reactions were different from what she'd thought they'd be, given her conversations with her clients! She is very easy to listen to - and she now knows exactly what it is like 'as a patient'.http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.htmlRe Questions to ask - this is out of the Breast Cancer Booklet put out by Cancer Australia https://www.cancer.org.au/assets/pdf/understanding-breast-cancer-bookletThe standard treatment for breast cancer caught early and if the surgeon obtained clear margins around the tumour is lumpectomy followed by radiation and possibly hormone suppressing meds. Some may require chemo. Not everyone goes thru all those treatments tho.IF you don't feel comfortable with your surgeon today, don't be afraid to ask to see a different surgeon. You need to be totally at ease with your surgeon.Does your surgeon work in the Public System as well as Private? If you go Private for surgery, ask for a Fee Quotation. I went private for surgery (with a fairly large $$ gap to pay, but I had the surgery just days after meeting the surgeon!) Then I went public for both my Radiation & Oncology, with no fees. Ask for a copy of the pathology report (ALL reports), as even if you can't understand it at this stage, you will have it for future reference. Your pathology report (after your surgery) will define your future treatment.If you have radiotherapy at a private centre there may be a big out of pocket expense, ask to go public if at all possible. Your surgeon will refer you to a Radiation Oncologist and also to a Medical Oncologist. Also, ask them what treatment they would suggest if it was their mother/sister/wife .... How long you'll be in hospital .... Check out this thread - it may cover a few of your questions already ..... definitely take someone with you to ALL your meetings until your active treatment finishes. Also consider recording them on your phone so you can go over it again later - as it is impossible to remember everything that has been said. Then you don't have to take notes (as you miss bits then too, when writing stuff down.) DO take a list of questions with you (even 2 copies - one for them & one for you, so you can tick them off as they are addressed.) https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-new-online-network-members#latestSelf care - I just did what I love doing, right up to the surgery day & then as soon as I was able - I got back to it afterwards! You need to keep yourself busy once you are able .... It may take a while to get back to 'normal routine' but just take it slowly ..Try not to get ahead of yourself with the 'what ifs' ..... and definitely stay away from Dr Google - as a lot of the info is totally out of date or not even relevant to your own diagnosis xxTake care & all the best for today xxJust found this, for making the 'next day' easier ..... get it all ready the evening before! And other Self caring tips from a buddy who is a psychologist xx

Hi @Ali78 Sorry to hear about your diagnosis - it can be a very stressful time, but you might feel better once you have seen your specialists and have a plan forward. The type of breast cancer will inform your treatment, so you should know more once some pathology is done. You may have access to a breast cancer nurse, which is an awesome support for queries/discussion.I was a similar age to you (47) at diagnosis. I continued to work part-time through most of my treatment (which was chemo, surgery & targeted therapy), because I wanted to maintain some sort of routine and normalcy and also because it was possible with my kind of work. However, I know other women who took extended time off work. I also continued most of my exercise/sport, although modified depending on how I felt and what my oncologist recommended (ie not competing and not putting my head in the swimming pool due to infection potential).Not sure if you have family/kids. I have two teenagers, so we decided to tell them straight away and let them know that they could talk to their friends or a counsellor about it (for support). We also let their school know. My husband came to appointments and took notes which was great because it is really hard to take in information, particularly in the early period.All the best xx

Hi @Ali78, big breaths for all this. These first few weeks are overwhelming. You have now joined our little club and none of us want to be in it but here we are. It's great to reach out and continue to do so as you need to.My advice is to take one day at a time. There is much to process and the doctors have to get all the information first to be able to treat you correctly. It takes time. It does feel better when you have a treatment plan but sometimes the whole plan comes together after surgery. Be patient and trust the medical people. I had my husband come to my appointments and I always had a note book. The questions you ask depend on what you know now and what you want to know. I told a small group of friends at the start. Just know some friends may be overwhelmed too and family and friends can react in ways we don't exist. In terms of self care. I walked, did yoga, meditation, ate well and lots vegetables and fruit. I am not a big sugar fan so I didn't really hard to give that up. I just did things l liked doing so I was busy. Keep busy so you don't dwell on it all. Easy to say and harder to do but it is true. Once you have your appointment today you will know more. This is step one. After surgery you will know more again and what the next step is. Feel free to update when you get more information but for now deep breaths and don't get ahead of yourself. Stay away from Google too. It really isn't helpful at all and there is much out of date information. Hope your appointment goes well. Best wishes

Hi @Ali78 I am so sorry you’re having to go through this, I can’t imagine how this might have felt had I been diagnosed in my 40s. Sending you virtual hugs. There’s much wisdom shared in the above comments by our network friends; so incredibly helpful. A few comments on what I wish I had better understood at the start. I didn’t know that breast cancer isn’t “one size fits all”. And, by extension, my treatment would vary depending on the attributes associated with my specific breast cancer type, the size of the tumour(s), family history and quite a few other factors. My GP suggested that I book a time to see them after my first visit to the surgeon in case there were questions I had not thought of in the surgeon’s rooms or needed more of an explanation about different options.You mentioned more diagnostics. When I was recommended to have them I did not know what the difference between the tests were, and how they might be important for future benchmarking - this website could be helpful: https://www.canceraustralia.gov.au/cancer-types/breast-cancer/symptoms-and-diagnosis/tests-breast-cancerIf you can, clear your calendar so you can prioritise these tests.I would ask the surgeon if you have “dense breasts” and just make a note of it, it can be helpful to know when your treatment is over.It may not be necessary for you but I wished I could have seen the oncology day ward where I would be going to have my chemotherapy beforehand. Ask your oncologist if your area has an oncology exercise physiology rehabilitation program. They can be so beneficial for both education and feeling safe whilst you maintain fitness during the treatment. Self care is also one of those important aspects but it’s so varied, as we all cope with fear and worry differently. During the lead up I kept reminding myself of all the things I had adapted to in my life and this too was something I could do. I reminded myself of the many, many incredible people who’d been in my shoes and whose experiences have successfully shaped the tailored treatment I would be lucky enough to receive. Basically it was a “glass half full” approach but as that’s how I am generally, I think it helped me face into the treatment because it was authentic for me. I feel, on reflection, that the waiting phase you’re in is probably the toughest, so thinking of you and hoping you can sleep and find out what you need. 🌻🌻🌻

Dear @Ali78,from jennyss in Western NSW

Surreal | BCNA Online Network

arpie
Member
5 months ago
So sorry to see you joining us here, @Ali78 ... we can all remember when they 'got the news' ..... I was out on my kayak, fishing (having already made a 'follow up' appointment after my biopsy) so when the GPs office rang me & suggested I book an appointment .... I knew too. It is so confronting and confusing (as you look & FEEL healthy) but this little sucker is growing sneakily without our knowledge .... so needs to come out.

Where abouts are you? (Suburb/city/town) We may have members nearby who can point you to specific support groups and services in your area. (Go to your profile & just add your region.)

Whack up any questions that you may have .... we'll do our best to answer them honestly and help ease your journey. I'd suggest you listen to the Charlotte Tottman podcasts of her own diagnosis/surgery/recovery - she is a specialist Breast Cancer Counsellor who was diagnosed herself about 5 years ago - and she was surprised that her own reactions were different from what she'd thought they'd be, given her conversations with her clients! She is very easy to listen to - and she now knows exactly what it is like 'as a patient'.
http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html

Re Questions to ask - this is out of the Breast Cancer Booklet put out by Cancer Australia
https://www.cancer.org.au/assets/pdf/understanding-breast-cancer-booklet

The standard treatment for breast cancer caught early and if the surgeon obtained clear margins around the tumour is lumpectomy followed by radiation and possibly hormone suppressing meds. Some may require chemo. Not everyone goes thru all those treatments tho.

IF you don't feel comfortable with your surgeon today, don't be afraid to ask to see a different surgeon. You need to be totally at ease with your surgeon.

Does your surgeon work in the Public System as well as Private? If you go Private for surgery, ask for a Fee Quotation. I went private for surgery (with a fairly large $$ gap to pay, but I had the surgery just days after meeting the surgeon!) Then I went public for both my Radiation & Oncology, with no fees.
Ask for a copy of the pathology report (ALL reports), as even if you can't understand it at this stage, you will have it for future reference. Your pathology report (after your surgery) will define your future treatment.
If you have radiotherapy at a private centre there may be a big out of pocket expense, ask to go public if at all possible. Your surgeon will refer you to a Radiation Oncologist and also to a Medical Oncologist.

Also, ask them what treatment they would suggest if it was their mother/sister/wife .... How long you'll be in hospital ....

Check out this thread - it may cover a few of your questions already ..... definitely take someone with you to ALL your meetings until your active treatment finishes. Also consider recording them on your phone so you can go over it again later - as it is impossible to remember everything that has been said. Then you don't have to take notes (as you miss bits then too, when writing stuff down.)
DO take a list of questions with you (even 2 copies - one for them & one for you, so you can tick them off as they are addressed.)
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-new-online-network-members#latest

Self care - I just did what I love doing, right up to the surgery day & then as soon as I was able - I got back to it afterwards! You need to keep yourself busy once you are able .... It may take a while to get back to 'normal routine' but just take it slowly ..

Try not to get ahead of yourself with the 'what ifs' ..... and definitely stay away from Dr Google - as a lot of the info is totally out of date or not even relevant to your own diagnosis xx

Take care & all the best for today xx

Just found this, for making the 'next day' easier ..... get it all ready the evening before!

And other Self caring tips from a buddy who is a psychologist xx