Felt surreal

I still get a surprise when I see my reflection as I forget that I look so different. I still feel like the same person but have not looked like 'me' for 6 months now. I am now starting to transform back but will go through a few different looks along the way, no doubt. I joke about getting to the Pink rockstar look by about Feb. Only I will have a greyish version! It is hard though and a constant reminder of what I have been through this year. I found that exercise really helped to keep my weight gain to a minimum. But towards the end of chemo I had trouble with fluid retention. Despite being careful eating wise and exercising when I could, I put on a little weight. The good news is that by the end of radiation that extra weight was all gone. I am hopeful that the tamoxifen will not cause havoc with this. I keep exercising and feel better for it anyway! I don't know if your head is sore but mine was when I lost my hair. It settled after a week or so. Glad to hear you felt ok in your scarf. You sound so confident and determined. That attitude will help you get through anything! Good on you. Take care. Xxxxoooo Deanne

I shaved my head last Friday. It is shocking but after a good cry you seem to get over it. I try to look at the positive side and look forward to having my hair grow back in better condition. I have have always had long blonde hair so as it grows back I am going to have fun and try different styles and maybe different colours.

I still catch glimpses of this person I don't really know in the mirror and it's been 5 months now since I finished chemo. I have coloured my hair for years too as I wasn't ready to go grey gracefully. So having no hair at all when I got my husband to shave it off was such a horrible experience that I bawled my eyes out. I did get used to wearing my scarves though and had some lovely ways to tie them. I didn't bother with a wig as I wasn't working and thought I'd not really need one. My hair is totally grey and curling as it grows. It's about 3 cms at the sides and back but still quite slow at growing on top where it's about 2 cms. I'm hoping by Christmas I might be able to go without a scarf but I'm really quite scared of relieving my new head of hair. It's SO different and it reminds me of what I've gone through this year too much. I know I'm going to have to get over it and I will but I feel very vulnerable right now. So good on you for your 'head up' attitude and wearing your scarf with pride. Weight gain has been an issue for me too. I put on 4 kilos during chemo. I've manage to lose 2 of the 4 kilos and I think that's due to walking everyday and trying to stick to a healthy diet. I do have the odd chocolate or two every now and then though :) I need some rewards. Good luck with it all Hazel Love Janey xxx

Hi hazel I must be at about the same stage as you it's been 16 days since I've had my first chemo have had an itchy scalp for about a week. Now today it's a little sore and am noticing strands are coming out quite readily. I'm trying to not shave until the end of next week as there are a couple of things on at my daughters school and she is quite apprehensive about me loosing my hair . So I'm hoping I can lol Keep those posts coming Hazel and everyone else it really lifts your spirits reading them :) XxxSharl

Hi hazel I must be at about the same stage as you it's been 16 days since I've had my first chemo have had an itchy scalp for about a week. Now today it's a little sore and am noticing strands are coming out quite readily. I'm trying to not shave until the end of next week as there are a couple of things on at my daughters school and she is quite apprehensive about me loosing my hair . So I'm hoping I can lol Keep those posts coming Hazel and everyone else it really lifts your spirits reading them :) XxxSharl