Time goes by so quickly!!
I'm done with the AC part of chemo (yay, no more red devil). I'm on my 5th dose of the Taxol which I'm finding a lot easier on the system. Frustratingly, I've managed to pick up a cold and a middle ear infection so have had to delay today's treatment. The week goes by so quickly between treatments, I'm mainly tired and that's starting to accumulate over time. I'm also now menopausal - yay for me. The hot flushes were awful - I'm now on Veoza (fezolinetant) for them. It's newly approved here in Australia and specifically targets the receptor in the brain that causes the hot flushes. It's not yet on the PBS - so it's $60 for a month supply, claimable on some private health insurance. I'm finding it great for the hot flushes - still have some but they aren't as intense or as frequent. I do have a dry mouth though which is a known side effect.
Very annoyingly I am putting on weight - thanks to the dexamethasone which makes me soooo hungry. It wasn't such an issue when I was only getting it every 3 weeks (and the nausea put a cap on the appetite) but now it's weekly and with no nausea it's "hello appetite!". So I have to add weight gain to the list of what's f*ked about my body - hard enough adjusting to the baldness and one boob without adding extra jiggly bits. I've always fluctuated in weight thanks to growing up a 90's girl (anyone here remember the heroin chic of the time?). I had managed to get to a mostly good place with it before being diagnosed. Of course, I have no energy to actually do the exercise I need to get rid of it. I'm *trying* to be kind to myself on that front - but not having a great deal of success.
Currently trying to keep the kids occupied through the holidays. Had a wonderful treat over the weekend with a sleepover with 2 of my oldest friends - we hired an apartment in the city, had a lovely lunch and then watched movies and hung out. It was so lovely to just hang out, no kids, no partners, no restaurant time-limits, no chores. I wholeheartedly recommend this as a treat.
We're off to the beach at the end of the holidays and I'm working up the courage to get into some togs and into the water. I love, love, love swimming in the ocean. I recently went to Burleigh Heads and seriously struggled with getting togs on & getting into the water - especially as the place is full of stunning women with luscious hair, slim bods and both boobs. I was the only one boobed, bald chick on the beach and felt very conspicuous and very self-conscious. I sat there watching my husband in the water with the kids, arguing with myself to just get in the water. I eventually got his attention so he could come and accompany me to the water because I just could NOT do it on my own. I've got myself a swim prosthesis now so hopefully that will help a little - can't do much about the hair or the fat but maybe one less thing to worry about will help.
Now that I'm recovered from surgery and feeling a little more human on the Taxol, body image really is something that I'm struggling with. My clothes don't fit right any more. I can't wear a bunch of my favourite dresses because I haven't been able to find a bra with straps that sit right. Why oh why do all the straps come straight up from the nipple??? They are also a totally different shape than I'm used to wearing so nothing sits the way that I'm used to.
Sorry - this has been a bit more of a rant than an update.
