Working while waiting for surgery

Hi Katieh,

everyone else has made such excellent suggestions! I’m just going to add my own coping strategies to the mix. I found it weirdly helpful to focus on after-the-surgery and after the radiation when I decided I’d be too demoralised, tired and just flattened to do anything. So I cooked and filled the freezer (my husband has three signature dishes and I didn’t want them on high rotation - there is only so much pesto I can eat in a week, much as I love it). I filled my bookcase with a mixture of reading material and gathered my knitting supplies together. I went to a couple of things I thought I’d miss otherwise - a show at the NGV. I did work (I work part-time online) but I didn’t push it. These unfortunate events are what sick leave is for.

I tried not to pretend everything was normal - because it sure the hell wasn’t. I let myself cry - a lot. I journaled a lot because I find that therapeutic. I made lists - what makes me happy, things to be grateful for, books I wanted to read, sewing projects…nothing fancy, nothing out-of-reach. 

And, honestly, I’m now two weeks post radiation therapy and I’m still doing the same things. Everything has gone well but emotionally I’m struggling so I’m trying to take one day at a time and giving myself time to grapple back some resilience. I think the world kind of badgers us to get through stuff, get to the other side! stay positive! but sometimes it’s more realistic to create a soft, forgiving nest for yourself, hunker down and slowly, quietly meet your new self and learn to love her.

Hi Katieh​ , it is totally understandable to feel what you are feeling as others have mentioned. We speak to alot of people in the waiting stage on our Helpline, whether waiting a couple of days or weeks for results or surgery - we totally agree that any time waiting is difficult.

We know you perhaps have looked into these resources already, however hope you don't mind us sharing several below:

• If you have a breast care nurse she/he may be able to link you in with services available in the center/hospital.
• Cancer Council 13 11 20 Cancer Counselling Service offers an opportunity to talk with nurse counsellors and psychologists who can help you with cancer-related challenges. To discuss a referral or your support options call Cancer Council 13 11 20.
• BCNA’s My Journey resource provides high-quality, evidence-based information that can be tailored to your individual diagnosis. I have hand-picked a couple of articles that may be of interest to you:
  • Managing Stress (and Mindfulness)
  • Emotional wellbeing
  • Watch Managing stress and improving wellbeing with mindfulness and meditation

Peter Mac’s Cancer Mind Care Is a free, self-help online platform offering tailored mental health support for people with cancer, their support persons, clinicians, and First Nations. Accessible online, Australia wide www.cancermindcare.org.au

Hope the above resources support you, however, please do not hesitate to contact our Helpline 1800 500 258 discuss further.

Hi Katieh​   I agree the waiting is difficult to deal with. Like you after my diagnosis about 6 weeks ago, I had to undergo further tests. I would have preferred to have the surgery last week but due to the AFL grand final public holiday it was delayed until this coming Friday! Not happy! Having said that I have tried to quell my anxiety by keeping busy. I’m retired and a grandmother so fortunate that I don’t have work / family commitments. Be gentle on yourself, it’s such a roller coaster and most people are understanding. I agree with Arpie about getting support online and using the resources on the BCNA website, I’ve found it very helpful. It’s very hard not to overthink it but hold onto the fact that we live in a time where the treatments/ knowledge of this disease are so valuable. Hang in there, all the best with your treatment, hope you get a date asap.

xx L 

HiKatieh​ 

I am so sorry you’ve received a diagnosis ~ I remember waiting as being a very tough time, with no real idea of how I should “be”. Even once I had my treatment start date it was strange; it felt like I had hit pause on “normal life”.  I was still in the workplace, with wonderful and supportive colleagues, and I tried to distract myself by focusing on handover notes and filing but I think my productivity was pretty low! As it was late summer I did a few things I thought I’d miss (especially swimming, exercise, socialising and gardening).  I also distracted myself by trying to get a few things ready (a wig for example, as I was having chemotherapy). Sending you lots of positive energy and virtual hugs. 

Hi Katieh​ 

I am SO Sorry to see you join the club that no-one every thought they'd be joining 🙁. 

This diagnosis can really muck with your brain - so if you feel sad, angry, distressed .... ask your GP (or your treating team) for a referral to see a counsellor .... or listen to Charlotte Tottman's podcast (link below - and HIGHLY recommended to listen to).   You can also ring our Helpline on 1800 500 258 for a confidential one-on-one chat xx

I found that by keeping busy, doing things I loved helped me maintain some sort of 'normalcy' - but I was also retired & didn't have work responsibilities etc when diagnosed.  But the brain still goes off on a tangent ..... Don't 'get ahead' of yourself - try & stay 'in the present' and try not to do the 'what ifs' ..... as they may never happen & it will just upset you.  :(   And DEFINITELY stay away from Dr Google.  Most info isn't relevant to your own diagnosis & some is quite old & outdated too.   Get your info from the Professionals - your treating team xx

You've found the right spot here tho, for support & info from those who've 'been there, done that'! So hopefully we'll be able to smooth the way for your own story.   Make sure you take a trusted friend or family member with you to your appointments, as a 'backup set of ears', as it is difficult remembering everything that is said.  Also, consider recording your sessions on your phone, so you can go over it again later, for the same reason. 😉   Whack up ANY question - remember there are NO dumb questions!!! 

Charlotte Tottman is a BC specialist counsellor who was diagnosed herself, also had a double mastectomy, so knows EXACTLY what we've all been thru, both emotionally and physically!  Her own reaction to her diagnosis was also quite different to what she 'thought' it might be, given that she'd been counseling women's reactions for some years before, so thought she 'new' what to expect!  She is VERY easy to listen to, too xx
http://www.drcharlottetottman.com.au/my-podcast.html. 

Raelene Boyle's video is also well worth watching! 
https://www.bcna.org.au/resource-hub/podcasts/upfront-about-breast-cancer/upfront-about-breast-cancer/episode-21-raelene-boyle-on-pulling-herself-out-of-the-darkness/

There is HEAPS of info in the link below to help you navigate the blog and also some tools to evaluate your own physical and mental recovery thru your ongoing treatment! xx.

https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussions/general-discussion/a-big-welcome-to-all-new-online-network-members-/222737

Take care & all the best for your surgery & ongoing treatment xx

Hi Katieh​ 

I found this part of the whole process the most stressful. It can be very overwhelming, lots of appointments and information to tske in, and I didn't like feeling I wasn't in control. Waiting is awful. There is lots of good information and podcasts on the BCNA website, and other reputable websites like the Cancer Council.

Don't feel guilty for taking the time you need to look after yourself. This disease has a physical and mental toll on you. There is no right or wrong way of dealing with this, everyone is different. I felt much better once I got past this stage and on to the treatment phase. 

BCNA have a help line you can call if you need to chat to someone, and I found my McGrath Nurses were wonderful answering questions and helping with appointments. 

All the best for your journey. Katie