Thank you for the posts - everything from story sharing, experiences, suggestions, advice and overall support.
@Dory65 - I’m sorry to have missed that event, I believe I would have found it of value; yesterday was a crazed day!
@Michelle_R - sounds like we are on identical treatments and on similar time lines. It all sucks.. I’m sending lots of caring energy your way x
@Shellshocked2018_ - 🍃🌼🍃 you pop up just when I need that extra helping hand...many thanks.
My Update...
Had the Onc apt and the scheduled chemo AC 4th cycle yesterday. The previous night I started to notice my temp rising and the pain under my arm and throat gland worsening. Called the hospital, triage suggested usual advice. I made a health executive decision and waited for the morning Onc apt.
I tumbled around with emotions, questions and doubts. I tried to keep a positive tone but felt and looked like total ’shitfest’.
I couldn’t have chemo - I had a fever. Had a series of tests which confirmed another infection and deep vein thrombosis in my right arm. I don’t mind weeping, having a meltdown or falling apart - it’s a human experience but what aches my heart and flattens my spirit is the constant something surfacing, lurking around waiting to make its grand entrance.
That was yesterday, took the new meds, licked my wounds and went to bed.
Today I woke up, walked to the supermarket (only 3 shoppers there at 7:15am), made myself a little chicken soup and started to get myself ready for my work phone session. Managed the day, somehow...physically I felt the ouchies, mentally I was powered up as best I could.
My place of vulnerability - I’m scared that if my mental reserve runs dry, how will I cope? How many beatings can a body, mind, soul, spirit bear? The ammunition chemo carries kills the bad guys - how bad is the damage for the good guys?
Sorry for for the long post...
