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Hi SDA46 I am so sorry about your diagnosis. You have certainly been on a roller coaster with the disease over the years and now this. I am sending lots of virtual hugs. I can only imagine how blindsided this must feel after you’ve been in a more or less good space all these years. But you’ve come to the right place as there will be others here who have been through the challenges of receiving information about recurrence. 
There’s a lot of good resources in the form of podcasts on the BCNA network but perhaps a good first step would be their helpline just to unpack and talk through things. A referral from your GP to a breast cancer nurse might also be helpful. 

I was diagnosed two years ago and completed my treatment for Invasive Lobular Cancer. Although ILC is often described as showing up as cells in a single file (like a “string of pearls”), mine presented as both the classic single string and a lump. There’s a group for ILC on the BCNA network you could join. 

My breast cancer was caught early, I had chemotherapy then surgery (a lumpectomy) and then chemotherapy/immunotherapy again. Your treatment regime may not be the same, as you will know our cancer subtypes influence the treatment and in my case I was HER2+ Oestrogen positive and Progesterone positive (aka Triple Positive). 

There may be others who have had your experience of caring for a child, or others in their family, with a cancer diagnosis. That worry (of how the news is received) feels understandably like an extra layer of concern for you but I do hope you might be able to prioritise your care and support needs. 
Sending you lots of positive energy and best wishes as this unfolds.