Post Radiotherapy and moving back to normality

If you had asked me a week or so ago if I would do radiotherapy again the answer would have been a resounding 'NO'. It's amazing what a difference a couple of weeks make as my answer would now be a resounding "YES". It's taken a good two weeks in recovery mode to realise that I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

The last week of radiotherapy was hard. My breast and especially my underarm and nipple area were becoming red, burnt, tender and very sore. It was a relief when I finished my last session. My oncologist was extremely happy with my skin, the radiotherapists amazed at how good my breast looked and the radiotherapy nurses sent me on my way with a cream to help with my radiation rash which was itching like you wouldn't believe. They also warned me that the radiation would continue to work through my body for the following three weeks and I would feel fatigued. Little did I know what this would mean.

My nipple and underarm became darker, more tender and my breast was glowing. A huge blister appeared in my underarm area (which was now dark brown, crusty, raw and flaking) which then burst. I was extremely sore as was my nipple which also continued to darken. I found myself back at the clinic where the nurses covered my underarm area with a padded wound dressing. This was extremely comfortable and allowed me to continue to work out. But on the third day, I developed an allergy to the dressing so had to remove it. My underarm was raw and sore. The following day, I reapplied another dressing but within hours I developed a rash so had to remove this as well.

My first week was hell. The tiredness/fatigue hit me in that first week. It took me two hours to work out and I dragged my feet as I walked the dogs along the sands. I soon realised that walking as well as working out was not conducive to healing as my underarm area was constantly rubbed whilst in motion. It was the first time in 18 months that I would have to rest from my workouts. I missed them but I also knew that within a couple of weeks I would be back on track with my workouts once my underarm area was fully healed.  I moped along with the dogs, there was little I could do housework wise and most of my days were spent snuggled on the couch with a dog either side of me.  

Someone asked me whether I thought radiotherapy was worth it. My answer is now a resounding YES. Even with radiotherapy, I have a high chance of the cancer returning as my nuclear grade was intermediate as the make up of my cells were cribriform, solid with comedo necrosis - all of which are known to cause recurrence. Hopefully, I can remain cancer free for the next 5/10 years - with every year that passes there is less chance that the cancer will return. As for the side-effects as I was told, the burning, soreness, rash and tenderness dissipates and as I move into my third week following radiotherapy my breast is recovering. It is darkly tanned and freckled but the redness has now virtually disappeared. My underarm is also recovering and hopefully by next week it will be fully recovered.

It has been a long hard journey. I had the earliest form of breast cancer which was non invasive. I count my blessings daily. I am also thankful that I was fit and healthy and had lost weight before I was diagnosed. Continuing with my workouts definitely helped me through my treatment and gave me the tools to combat tiredness and to recover quickly from my operations as well as helping me through radiotherapy. It also made me strong not only in my body but in my mind as well. I told myself having lost the weight I did, exercising and working out with weights (and to think I couldn't even lift myself off the floor 18 months ago) I could get through my breast surgeries and radiotherapy and I did thanks to my fitness level.

I am now six weeks post radiotherapy, (I have my first check-up with my radiotherapy oncologist on Tuesday) and what a difference six weeks makes!  My breast is fully healed.  My scar has faded to a thin white line and now, looking in the mirror, there is hardly any difference in the size of my breast compared to my other. I have a slight tan on the radiated breast and my nipple  is a shade darker than it was before.  My underarm is fully healed though there is a tightness to the skin where I blistered but this is improving with exercise and moisturising the area regularly.  I am now massaging my breast twice daily on the advice from my breast care nurse.  I don't puff up the stairs as I did in my first 2 weeks post radiotherapy and my throat mucus has disappeared.  Nor do I feel fatigued as I did in my first three weeks post radiotherapy.  

I continue to workout 6 x a week, 3 x circuit weights and 3 x with lighter weights for my shoulder and chest area.  I did have some slight swelling of my fingers when I couldn't exercise because of the blistering under my arm, but this improved once I recommenced my exercise regime.  

I had my first hike in 6 months last Thursday - a fairly easy trek.  It was great to put on my hiking boots and to walk with my backpack (empty for my first hike - my husband carried our provisions for the day) and it rained, but there is something special walking in a forest of gums, listening to the sound of the rain dripping from the branches and leaves and walking on the damp ground litter.  Hearing the bird calls echoing through the bush.  Feeling the breeze on my face and breathing in the fresh cold air.  Bliss.  Our next hike will be more telling as we will be climbing a relatively steep hill of 200m, then trekking down into a valley and up another hill of around 200m. 8/9 km in total.  Needless to say I can't wait.  If I find the first hill a struggle, I have the option of walking an easier route (avoiding the second climb).  

It's a great feeling to be moving back to normality.  To be able to do all the things I love doing and having my energy levels return.  To be able to run up the stairs, do the housework, walking the dogs along miles of sand, rock hopping and clambering and best of all entertaining good friends to lunch (as I did today) without feeling fatigued. 

Somewhere along the line, I lost 6 months of my life to DCIS and treatment.  A small price to pay in the scheme of things.  To all of you who are starting or are in treatment, believe me there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Sometimes it seems that we take one step forward and two steps back but let me assure you that all those forward steps do lead us along the pathway to normality ...  it may take a while but we get there ...