Eve of yearly follow up tests; anxious AF; update in general

Hi to all of the ladies above,I can only say, yes, I am in the same position, mental health wise, I have all the support I need, my partner is wonderful,and YET, the tears have been pretty close by the last couple of weeks, no real reason, except of course metastatic breast cancer,5 years down the road, I have isolated myself as well,I am an introvert by nature and what is termed as having a highly sensitive pysche I,to have all sorts of techniques to put in place when things go wrong, like, you @zoffiel, I dont do crowds, waiting or queues, I think its because I like to be in control, plus of course living in a rural community means I dont have to deal with a lot of people, I live in a beautiful area, have a lovely home,everything I need, and yet, it still feels like something is missing, I just have to say to myself, this too will pass, and it does, its just the days in between that are hard, just as well I dont like ice cream, however, Daryl Lea Chocolate covered liquorice bullets, come a pretty close second, my remedy apart from the liquorice bullets is simply just to be - let it wash over me, get it out of my system as best as I can and tomorrow is another day, I am not wonder woman, I live life in the slow lane now and I am rather enjoying it, I make no apologies for not being able to do stuff or go places, I am me, 
I have wanted to get this out of me for a few days and after reading the previous posts, I felt strong enough to do so,
thank you ladies,
wendy55