Breast cancer
Comments
-
Hi everyone new at this and not sure I can understand how this chat works and feel I may not be answering in a fashion I am comfortable so anyone who wants to chat my email is sarahrm@****.au
I have 3 days ago been diaganosed with stage 3 cancer and looking down the tunnel of a double mastomectony with chemo and radiation to shrink the tumor in left breast before surgery. I also have a none healing left humerus so bone cancer is up for grabs. I am suffering from night demons and feeling guilty bestowing this whole thing on my family I have 5 children ranging from 22 to 32 and all have been amazing and count myself lucky. I have a sister in England who is also an amazing support so I guess I am really lusky. I did work full time up to my bone break Oct 25 2013. On occassion I am very sad, very sacred of being sick and in pain. Shittless sacred of tomorrow which is MRI and Scat scans but no I will do everything even though I am sacred of small confined spaces. If you want a good chat please email and we may be able to help each other. Good luck to everyone on this site. Women are awsome and we can do it girls.
Sarah
0 -
Good luck girl thinking about you, this will be me in a few months time.
0 -
Hi Sarah
I have a bilaterlal mastectomy with axillary clearance to one side 20/12/13. Chemo starts in just over a week which I am anxious about. Nights are worst for me too. I dont sleep through the night waking up every 2 to 3 hours. I cry easily whenever i feel something .....anything. I see a psychologist and she gives some tips which may be useful, which sometimes help.
Try to make a schedule for the day/week. Plan a time in the day to think about the worries then put them away for the rest of the time. (easier said than done).
Have a worry diary and just record things down then put it away until the time to to go through it.
I cant say I have a lot of success with it but it did give me some structure and writing down the worries help to let it go of it even if it is for a little while.
Doing suduko in between sleeping times helps me to focus on something else and also to fall asleep again in the night.
In the earlier days, I was a total mess not doing anything just sitting on the couch. Lucky to have a wonderful husband who does everything for me. Most of my close family do not live in this country but they have been very supportive. I too did feel that i have put such burden on everyone. Take one day at a time is a good advice which I do have to remind myself of it over and over again. The days do get better.
Take care and wish you peace.
Cis
0 -
I wrote a long and hopefully humerous blog this morning but I decided to review first and then it dissappeared. Thanks everyone and my day is filled with tests and Cat scans etc so I will be kept very busy. For all those have a day of doing nothing chins up girls we can do this............Some good reading is by Cathy Glass nothing to do with cancer about Fostercaring in UK but she is a lovely writer and an easy read. My daughters are on their way down to pick me up for the excursion to RPH. I was up at 3am and felt fine but now my day is about to begin I am that sacred of going into the tunnel I hope they have a horse sedative to knock me out. I am also having a body scan for more tumurs ........unhealing broken arm but my arm feels great this morning and I think it's on the mend. After 12 weeks of doing everything one handed and wearing this brace I think I am going to miss it (not)
My thoughts for you all and everyone is right this is an amazing site.
0 -
I just close my eyes and do some breathing or pretend to go to sleep. Did not open my eyes again until somebody walks into the room and talks to me.
Did help me....
Cis
0 -
Hey Sarah
Welcome huny. So glad you found us but so very sorry that you have to be here. It is all so very very overwhelming when you receive your diagnosis so I am sorry you are feeling the way you are feeling. I recently started a post where all the luvly ladies have put down ideas to help you deal with stress etc. I will find the link and let you know.
I am in WA. I am in Midland in Perth. I am part of a group called Perth Womens Group of which you are very welcome to join. Just find us in Groups and ask to join and we will happily say yes. We are having a get together coming up very soon in February that you are very welcome to attend.
You have come to a very good online group with BCNA. BCNA themselves are very helpful in that there is the My Journey Kit that you can order through them which has things in it like information to read, a diary for your appt, a place to write how you are feeling. Information about each thing you may go through etc. etc. You can find all that information at the bottom of the page and can order online or call them.
I have finished all my chemo and radiotherapy and have come out the other side of that to be able to tell the story and let you know you do get through. It is definitely a terrible time in your life and you will have lots of concerns. Take on board that worrying and being anxious about it doesn't make it any better but as we all know it is hard to not worry but it is good to remember it doesn't help that is for sure. You need to ask your new Medical Team for something to help you with sleeping and with your anxiety just to help you get through this stage since diagnosis.
I am available to talk to any time day or night on 0408497613. Please do not hesitate to call me Sarah please. My email is whitey.snm1@**** if you would like to email me.
There is a lovely group I think in Mandurah. I will try and contact one of the girls. I know some of them are very busy with a cycle they are doing to raise funds for BCNA where they will be heading off to Vietnam shortly which is so fantastic. I will see if they can contact you as well.
Please join the Perth Womens Group if you would like to.
We are all here for you Sarah. You are not alone luvly and we will help you get through this I promise.
Lots of luv always, Mich xoxoxoxo
0 -
This is the link I promised about stress Sarah http://www.bcna.org.au/user/8430/blog/70425
Lots of luv, Mich xoxoxoxoxoxo
0 -
Don't you hate it when you write those beautiful posts and then it disappears in to thin air and it is all to hard to try and start it again. Been there done that. Pain in the butt. hee hee
Luv Mich xoxoxoxoxox
0 -
Hi Sarah, I live in WA too, up in Kalamunda, so not too far away from you. I am 61, and learnt I had invasive breast cancer on 7th Jan, had a left mastectomy on 16th Jan, got part of my pathology on 23rd Jan, and today got the final bit. My tumor is Grade 3 HER2+v, and I gather I will probably be having chemo and herceptin treatment if my heart is up to it. I also got a massive seroma and an infection at the drain site, so they may delay starting my chemo and herceptin treatment. for several weeks till both are healed..
I am often up for an hour or so about 3 or 4am, and will check for you on the forum, and maybe we can connect there.
This cancer journey is a really scary process at times, And terror and sleep are not compatible.
For me the terror receded once I met my surgeon, and had surgery (a left mastectomy and SNB) Then I was fine for a little while till I got a bit but not all of my pathology. Now I am hanging out to 5th when I meet my oncologist and get my programme. .I am a person who is most comfortable when I know where I stand, and I am much more settled having at least some rough answers. I would rather have bad news than not know where I stand Other people don't feel setttled till they actually get started on the chemo, We are all different, but we are all a thousand times more than the statistics, and odds are there to be beaten.
You mention having terrible dreams. I am a psychotherapist, training in Jungian Analysis, and dreams fascinate me. Dreams come from the individual's unconscious mind and are part of your own unique personal process of making meanings, and are about what they mean to you not what anyone else may read into them. Even dreams that seem horrible are often really helpful messages from your unconscious that validate you and guide you to get what you need, and if you ever think it might be helpful to talk about them with me by phone or by email, I'd love to. Sometime I would love to do a study of cancer dreams, and pre-diagnosis dreams, chemo dreams etc, and see if I can maybe write a book or offer a service to help people with these dreams. My mentor had a group in the US that offered free dream guidance after September 11 twin towers.
I am so glad that you have found this group so that you now have friends who are with you even in the wee small hours. I look forward to meeting you if you join Perth Women group, or want to talk dreams etc
best wishes
Jessica
0 -
Hi Joy,
One of the things I love about this site is that you can have a good 'whinge' and no one thinks you are a 'woos' (hey how do you spell that?) - I found that I wanted to tell all my woeful bits and pieces to someone and found that here you see so many people going through their journey in so many different ways and every one is very supportive and helpful.
So whinge away - it's good to get it out and we all send positives to you as you travel through this not so pleasant trip.
xxSue
0 -
Thanks Sue. I seem t be in a much better place now. Still hate seeing my bald head in the mirror but am very grateful that I see to be doing a lot better following my second FEC round 10 days ago. I think I have accepted that the first week will be crappy and just go with it. Second week I feel well enough to fuss about bringing my home back the standard that I am comfortable with and taking the extra burden off my husband. Third week I plan to get out and about and catch up with friends and extended family.
I agree that it is better to let our feelings out and this is really the only place I feel I can. Doing so with family only brings them down and makes them nervous and scared. I don't want them to be scared and they don't want me to be either. I think I have pretty much mastered the "one day at a time" and feel quiet content with where I am at the moment.
I don't feel like life is leaving me behind as I did before. It is just slower and a little different for the time being. This is a good time to reflect on how my life was before and decide what I want it to to be like following treatment.
Thanks Sue for taking the time to encourage me. I hope you are travelling well too.
Joy xx
0 -
I am also part of the Perth women's group. They are a really nice group of positive caring ladies. We are here for you. I have had 3 surgeries so far including mastectomy and reconstruction. I know how it feels to be sleep deprived and anxious having all the tests and then waiting on the results. I am feeling pretty good now (as I am 1 1/2 years since diagnosis) but I remember that time as being a whirlwind blur of anxiety and fear.
I hope you are getting a bit of sleep now. Did you cope ok with the scans?
Prayers and thoughts are with you.
X pauline0 -
Hi Sarah, you are 3 days behind me in your Chemo. WHere are you having your treatments, and what sort of Chemo are you on? I had some days of being a ball of misery with heartburn, then got onto OTC Somac with my oncologist's approval and finally can eat and sleep again without nearly so much distress. I could not even drink weak tea without distress. It is now such a relief to have the main culprit gone it is like stopping banging my head against the wall. I start to wonder if this is a big part of the Chemo experience: you suffer your own side effects, your task is then to find ways to avoid these side effects or make them go away or at least bearable, and thus take control, get yourself through, and that gives you the courage or tenacity to return for the next lot. It is a sobering thought how much courage so many women including you and me are finding to face these debilitating and sometimes terrifying processes, and get through and on with our lives. i do wish you comfort and moments of unexpected joy in your journey. I hope also that you can feel less alone knowing there are others of us walking beside you. Please share what is happening for you, good and bad, whatever you need to share
0 -
Hello Jessica
Royal Perth Mondays.........next one round 2 March 17th. I am doing TCH but round 2 I start on the Herceptin as well. I am also recovering from a broken humerus done Oct25 so my sleep went out the window then and it's been a long haul. Yesterday I was so miserable that I said to my self I am not doing round 2 but I guess I will and even say 'thank-you" that's life! I know I have had very mild effects which worries the hell out of me as I know next round is going to be far worse and I have only just coped. I just feel YUK, depressed and not my self. The lack of sleep is the worst, lack of taste and your throat and mouth feeling like the bottom of a parrots cage that needs cleaning. No energy although that has not been too bad and I still do many hours of cooking and ironing general housework and the jobs nobody else see's. I have a full house at the moment with 3 adult children and one grandchild 3yrs. It's hectic and I find it very irratating with all the noise and moverment. I sound ungrateful and I probably am but I hate feeling like this infront of my children. I feel paranoid as well that they are all talking about me, I cannot string good sentences together and hopeless at number sequence so my passwords are all up the creek. Please let me know your symptons and how you are copying. I am hopeful you are in Perth too as it would be great to be friends as we are so close in treatment. Have a good weekend
Sarah
0 -
Hi, I am out of Perth, an hour's drive up into the hills, but come in to the Mount Hospital in Perth for my treatment my treatment in Perth on Friday, then Thursday next time, and at various other times. I have had trouble with fluid retention (advised to eat watermelon and it works!) insomnia (took 1/8 restavit for 4 nights in a row, but mind you I don't have a broken arm!), constipation (took Movicol for a gentle effective solution) heartburn was the worst(on Somac now), badmouth taste (gargling with strong saline every hour or so and cleaning my teeth with an ultrasoft Braun Oral b electric brush every few hours, andchewing extra minty sugarfree gum and telling myself I like saline taste better than the alternative) I really miss enjoying a cup of tea: it all always tastes like I have been swigging iodine.
The other thing that gets me down on and off is the emotional vulnerability, and reactivity. Which I know is totally normal in the face of this physical/mental/emotional crisis called breast cancer and Chemotherapy. But I don't approve of me being like this. This morning I sent off a rather harsh email to my horrible sister (who has been being a cow as usual, ) telling her she is a hard, unkind woman. Normally I would be a lot more sensible and effective in my handling of her, and I know it will not change anything, but every so often I get childish and hysterical and deeply hurt in ways I don't usually. A woman at my Oncologists said: this is the new normal. Go with it, let reality be reality. .
Do you think it would help to tell your kids about Chemofog and Chemobrain, and put it to them that they have to be understanding of the temporary toxic effects this process has on the brain. And that you need both their sympathy and their assistance to remember things etc. (Stress does this to everyone's mind too).
Today is day 10 and I think I have got through the Valley of Death to a not bad place. Hope you emerge into this better space soon.
0
