Breast cancer
Hi my name is Sarah, 54yrs old and just learnt I have stage 3 breast cancer with more to come. I live in Mandurah WA but happy to chat with others anywhere. I had the news a few days ago and more tests tomorrow and know I will be having surgery once they shrink my tumor. Also have a unhealing left humerus. I have terrible dreams and dread nights. I am always up by 4am. Anyone else in the same boat?
Good luck everyone who is for whatever reason reading this blog.
Sarah
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Hi Sarah,I am 59 and live in Sydney.You have come to the best place for support and advice,and there is always someone on here,even at 4 am as you will find out;)I have just finished my chemo( 5 weeks ago) but when I was first diagnosed,I was scared witless.My husband was overseas,and my daughter put her mattress on the floor in my room,as I hated the nights too.I am sure that you will find,that as you go along,and begin to get a plan for your treatment,you will start to feel more in control.Other ladies will come on here to reassure you also,and you will begin to see just how helpful this network of fantastic ladies is,in the BC journey.Try if you can to just take things one day at a time.It is so easy to get ahead of yourself,and usually it is of no help.Like I said,come on here any time you feel like a chat or advice,and there will always be someone here for you.Take care Sarah.xoxox Robyn0
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Hi Sarah,I am 59 and live in Sydney.You have come to the best place for support and advice,and there is always someone on here,even at 4 am as you will find out;)I have just finished my chemo( 5 weeks ago) but when I was first diagnosed,I was scared witless.My husband was overseas,and my daughter put her mattress on the floor in my room,as I hated the nights too.I am sure that you will find,that as you go along,and begin to get a plan for your treatment,you will start to feel more in control.Other ladies will come on here to reassure you also,and you will begin to see just how helpful this network of fantastic ladies is,in the BC journey.Try if you can to just take things one day at a time.It is so easy to get ahead of yourself,and usually it is of no help.Like I said,come on here any time you feel like a chat or advice,and there will always be someone here for you.Take care Sarah.xoxox Robyn0
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Hi Sarah, I am sorry that you find yourself on this journey but like Robyn said you have definitely come to the right place. I have stage 3 breast cancer and am Triple Negative. I have had a mastectomy and auxilliary clearance with 8/25 nodes positive for cancer. Margins were clear and all body scans also clear which is my positive out of all this.
I have had one round of chemo and due to have 2nd this Friday. I am a little different to you in that I can't wait for the night to come so that I can go to bed and forget about it. I find the days are so long and a struggle to get through sometimes. The oncologist prescribed sleeping tablets for me because I kept waking up. I do tend to wake at about 4:00 am though.
Most mornings I go for a walk at 5:00 while it is still cool and I swim in the afternoon to strengthen my arm after surgery.
The mantra you will find here is "take one day at a time" and it is so true. Try very hard not to race ahead and think the worst.
I am a christian women but found a Meditation on Sickness by the Delai Lama very helpful. When I am feeling a little anxious I read it:
"Whatever your situation, remember that worrying is pointless; it only adds to the suffering you already have. I often cite a very useful expression by the Indian Sage Shantideva, who basically said this: If there is a solution, what is the point of being anxious? Be content to apply it. And if there is no solution, what is the point of being anxious? Anxiety will only make your suffering worse."
I have in the past suffered and been treated for nxiety and I don't want to go back to that dark place.
When I was first diagnosed I read this over and over again and now when I feel anxious I just remind myself that I am choosing to terrorise myself by thinking about all the what ifs of the future.
I hope that you will work out a way to be kind to yourself.
Big hugs
Joy
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thanks so much for replying Roybn it's lovely to see I am up and running so I can contact with other women doing the same thing as me. What a club! Nice to hear your daughter is so good. and best of luck with your treatment. Thanks for your advise
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Thank you Joy and so sorry to hear of your struggle with your days, they are long days for me without work due to my broken bone. Nearly 12 weeks and now face months without work. I get into the garden at 5am and pottery but by 11am exchausted and then spend so many hours to wait wait wait for results or the next appointment. I love getting into my comfortable bed but hate the dreams and night sweats. I wake up sobbing I do not do it delibertaly it just happens, so I get up and start my day. I hate being sad, feeling guilty at what a burden I am going to be on my children, I don't have a partner. I know in a few weeks I will have adjusted it's human nature and look forward to that time. Thanks for your reply. Good luck with your journey.
Take care Sarah
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I went through a period where I didn't like the nights, they were the times where my thoughts would venture off on their own path. I am halfway through my chemo now, having just started Docetaxol, struggling a bit, at this moment I am sleeping 90% of the day. so my night problem has disappeared:) The waiting and waiting is the hardest thing to battle. 'One day at a time' is good advice, wish you well with the process, take care,
Hazel xx
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Sorry to hear you are struggling. Are you sleeping right through the nights too. Is it getting any easier as the days go by?
I hope you will be feeling better soon.
Love
Joy xx
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Yes, I am managing to sleep all through the night, even though I have spent most of the day sleeping. My partner says it must be because my body is fighting to get better and rebuild those white cells. I'm due to go to the hospital tomorrow morning for my picc dressing so I might just get checked while I'm there. It's hard to know what's normal, all my paperwork that list's side effects confirms that I have them all:( Because my throat is sore, I'm struggling to eat and have lost weight. Developing a rash in several places, took an anti-histamine, al least it's stopped itching. Enough of my whinging, I'm trying really hard not to be a sook. Take care, Joy, hope you are feeling on the up, sending big hugs, lots of love,
Hazel xx
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Hazel hi ! That rash with Docetaxel is awful.You can take antihistamine whenever u like.The doctor told me it won't affect the chemo.I took Zyrtec,it was great and helped me sleep a bit too;) Cheers Robyn.xoxo0
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Sarah,I cried and cried in the beginning,I would cry myself to sleep some nights,and I would wake up in the middle of the night and cry some more.It does get better! One day at a time.xoxoRobyn0
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Thanks Hazel, I seem to have more energy now if I don't over do visitors or going out for too long. I am going to LGFB tomorrow morning. Mostly, I am ok but I just feel so lonely and seem to be crying a lot lately. My husband shaved my head on Saturday. I feel scared too and pretty fragile at the moment. Trying hard to not feel sorry for myself but I feel like a burden etc. etc.
I hope you will be getting strong soon.
Big hugs
Joy xx
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Hello Hazel
So sorry to hear you are suffering like this, me too, I just get up and make a coffee and either address internet or play many many games of solitaire. I don't win anymore as I just cannot concentrate but it takes my mind off the demons of just lying in bed thinking, thinking thinking. Try it , it does mean you are tired by 10am and have a nanny nap and try to not go to bed before 9pm. I sleep for 4 hours and then start dreaming. Best of luck girl it's a horrible time but we will do it.
Sarah
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Oh joy your hair will grow back try to pull on a sence of humor. You will be ok girl and I will be losing my hair soon and both breasts. I don't have a partner so it helps God it's a tough road for us women but that is exactly why women get this tough road. it's because we are women and we can deal with it, over come it and rise to live another day....I am there fore you.
Sarah
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I am 52 years, living in Adelaide and I was diagnosed on 12th November. I had a mastecomy on 18th December. I am now having surgery on 29th January (this Wednesday) Auxillary node clearance. Chemo and Radiotherapy and hormone traetment to follow. I still remember the panic I felt in those first weeks, the sleepless nights, the worrying but it does get better and eventually you begin to have more and more positive days than those sad and worried ones. Now 2 months down the track they still happen but they are few and far between. I do my best to focus on my family, my kids and my friends and keep myself busy catching up with everyone - lots of lunches and movies! Yay! Exersise is also fantastic. Long walks can work miracles in lifting your spirits.
Keep sharing your journey, it also helps to get support from everyone on here!
Tanya
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I am 52 years, living in Adelaide and I was diagnosed on 12th November. I had a mastecomy on 18th December. I am now having surgery on 29th January (this Wednesday) Auxillary node clearance. Chemo and Radiotherapy and hormone traetment to follow. I still remember the panic I felt in those first weeks, the sleepless nights, the worrying but it does get better and eventually you begin to have more and more positive days than those sad and worried ones. Now 2 months down the track they still happen but they are few and far between. I do my best to focus on my family, my kids and my friends and keep myself busy catching up with everyone - lots of lunches and movies! Yay! Exersise is also fantastic. Long walks can work miracles in lifting your spirits.
Keep sharing your journey, it also helps to get support from everyone on here!
Tanya
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