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Acceptance

MandaMooMandaMoo Member Posts: 500
edited September 2016 in Metastatic breast cancer

It has come to be in the past week that I need to accept decline.

I, once again am faced with a choice.  To live in sadness at what is happening to me or cherish the moments I have.  

The decline in my quality of life in a short time is difficult to accept.  I have lived with this disease for 2 1/2 years with minimal, though annoying, disruption to usual programming.  Now however, I have the constant companion that is the urge to cough.  Along with her, is her friend fear and occasionally another friend - escalating emotions and thoughts surrounding impending death.

I have decided to retreat, to cocoon, to allow my body rest, to meditate, to love and care for my husband and children and save my energy for them, to be happy I have walked around the block (and not sad that it wasn't further), to cherish sitting in the Spring sunshine and the acute awareness of it's beauty. In doing this a couple of new friends appear - hope and gratefulness.  While I am still here, there is hope.  My symptoms do not always mean that my impending death is imminent but they do heighten my senses. 

Yes, accepting decline is difficult but once again I have a choice.  I choose to continue to live.

A x

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Comments

  • TonyaMTonyaM Member Posts: 2,745
    edited March 2015

    You have an intelligent mind and a beautiful soul-you will adapt but not give in  to your body's limitations.How wise you are to enjoy your family and nature's gifts.Wishing you many more of these simple pleasures. Tonya xx

  • jandy23jandy23 Member Posts: 234
    edited March 2015

    Keep hoping, keep nurturing yourself and your family. I wish there was something more useful or at least consoling I could say which doesn't involve a cliche or a tired old phrase about how brave you are. As you've said yourself, while you're here there is hope. xox

  • jandy23jandy23 Member Posts: 234
    edited March 2015

    Keep hoping, keep nurturing yourself and your family. I wish there was something more useful or at least consoling I could say which doesn't involve a cliche or a tired old phrase about how brave you are. As you've said yourself, while you're here there is hope. xox

  • MaxineMaxine Member Posts: 41
    edited March 2015

    You have such grace Amanda and I can feel your emotions through the words on the page so clearly.  You remind us all of the simple pleasure of just sitting in the spring sunshine and never taking it for granted. Max x

  • MaxineMaxine Member Posts: 41
    edited March 2015

    You have such grace Amanda and I can feel your emotions through the words on the page so clearly.  You remind us all of the simple pleasure of just sitting in the spring sunshine and never taking it for granted. Max x

  • Michelle_RMichelle_R Gold Coast QldMember Posts: 900
    edited March 2015

    You are living every minute of every day, and we can all learn from you.  To treasure our family, to feel the sunshine, to cherish the moments. You are so right - choose to live - and I send you love and strength and hope, and a gentle cyber hug.  Michelle xx

  • Michelle_RMichelle_R Gold Coast QldMember Posts: 900
    edited March 2015

    You are living every minute of every day, and we can all learn from you.  To treasure our family, to feel the sunshine, to cherish the moments. You are so right - choose to live - and I send you love and strength and hope, and a gentle cyber hug.  Michelle xx

  • AmyAmy Member Posts: 233
    edited March 2015

    To my dear Amanda

    Sending you all my love.  Soak in that spring sunshine, stay close to your family and those who love you, and hold on to those two friends, hope and gratefulness.

    Amy xxx

  • adeanadean Member Posts: 1,036
    edited March 2015
    Smile, cry, laugh, scream, suck up the pleasures and spit out the crap. Take your life and mould it into what will bring you special times and peace. And be you ,as unique and deep and compassionate and honest as you are. Love. Adean
  • adeanadean Member Posts: 1,036
    edited March 2015
    Smile, cry, laugh, scream, suck up the pleasures and spit out the crap. Take your life and mould it into what will bring you special times and peace. And be you ,as unique and deep and compassionate and honest as you are. Love. Adean
  • Janey235Janey235 Member Posts: 1,206
    edited March 2015
    My heart cries for you Amanda. I admire you so much. Your honesty and your wisdom with everything you are facing is a lesson for us all. Like our fellow pink sisters are saying, live each moment in peace and harmony. Gather your family to you and enjoy each day. I'm sending you strength and love. You are beautiful.
    Love Janey xxx
  • Janey235Janey235 Member Posts: 1,206
    edited March 2015
    My heart cries for you Amanda. I admire you so much. Your honesty and your wisdom with everything you are facing is a lesson for us all. Like our fellow pink sisters are saying, live each moment in peace and harmony. Gather your family to you and enjoy each day. I'm sending you strength and love. You are beautiful.
    Love Janey xxx
  • mgndam1603mgndam1603 Member Posts: 753
    edited March 2015

    I concur with all the above, live your life at the speed and the way you want. Enjoy the things that are important to you and hold your family close.

     

    Donna

  • DeanneDeanne Sunshine Coast QldMember Posts: 2,153
    edited March 2015
    Thank-you for your generosity in sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. You are so wise to choose to enjoy all that life can give. I hope that you can continue to have many more special times.
    Deanne xox
  • LouiseTurnerLouiseTurner Central Coast NSWMember Posts: 1,610
    edited March 2015
    My woes diminish when I read your posts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts so eloquently and thoughtfully.We have never met but I think of you often and your strength becomes my strength.

    So much love to you and your young family
    Xxxlouie
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