A shared thought
I've been lying awaking with thoughts going through my head and I thought I'd put them down and share them with you. I wrote a poem and called it WAITING. Here goes.
This was the day it all began.
I'll explain it all to you if I can.
I'm in a clinic awaiting my test.
A routine exam I have on my breasts.
I'm sitting in a chair. Waiting.
It's over now, on with life's daily grind.
I don't have any bad thoughts in my mind.
A letter arrives, I'm ill at ease.
I thought the mammogram would be a breeze.
I go to the hospital to have more tests.
I'm told not to worry, I'll do my best.
I'm sitting in a chair. Waiting.
Poked and prodded and scared right now.
Could this be happening I wonder. How?
Just days ago I felt care free.
Could this be happening? How could this be?
The results are in and I go back there.
Back to the hospital, I begin to despair.
And I sit in a chair. Waiting.
The worst news possible, my life turns around.
I cry out but there isn't a sound.
Plans are made but I'm spinning and turning.
I don't hear a thing.
By my ears are burning.
I fear the worst. It's black as night.
But my love is with me. He holds me tight.
Now it begins, this journey of mine.
More hospital visits, my new daily grind.
I sit in chairs. Waiting.
My body is cut, the invasion is gone.
I'm overwhelmed with relief, I can now carry on.
But now comes the hard times I'll need to endure.
With drugs I am hit. Is this a cure?
Long months go by, I'm in such pain.
I must go through it again and again.
Another infusion, just one more.
It's the hardest thing I've ever done before.
I sit in my chair. Waiting
I'm over the worst but with a hurdle to go.
Back to the hospital and this time I know
my body will be different than it was before.
I grieve and I ache to my very core.
But my love is with me, he holds me near.
He gives me strength, I should not fear.
I'm a survivor, I have come through.
It's like starting over, like starting anew.
The sun is shining, the clouds are abating.
I'm out of my chair, my life is waiting!
I hope you enjoy reading this. It gives me pleasure to share it.
Love to you all
Janey xxx
Comments
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What a great poem Janey. It tells the story of the BC journey so well. Yes the "waiting" for test results, doctors or treatment appointments is endless. But what a joy to make it through and have your life waiting for you.
Take care of you.
Adrianne0 -
What a great poem Janey. It tells the story of the BC journey so well. Yes the "waiting" for test results, doctors or treatment appointments is endless. But what a joy to make it through and have your life waiting for you.
Take care of you.
Adrianne0 -
Hiya Janey, that was amazing! Such an accurate reflection of our travels. You should do something more with that, it's beautiful.
Xxxlouise0 -
Hiya Janey, that was amazing! Such an accurate reflection of our travels. You should do something more with that, it's beautiful.
Xxxlouise0 -
Thank you Janey,
You said it perfectly, we sit and wait in terror, frozen in fear. Some of us are lucky that we have someone by our side, holding us up, supporting us, hearing for us. This year I have got out of my chair and life has moved on. We are all different people now , stronger and wiser, surrounded by Pink sisters that we may never meet, surrounded by a sea of Pink love. Thankyou all you hold my hand everday.
Annie
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Thank you Janey,
You said it perfectly, we sit and wait in terror, frozen in fear. Some of us are lucky that we have someone by our side, holding us up, supporting us, hearing for us. This year I have got out of my chair and life has moved on. We are all different people now , stronger and wiser, surrounded by Pink sisters that we may never meet, surrounded by a sea of Pink love. Thankyou all you hold my hand everday.
Annie
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That is beautiful, Janey, and so true. You have captured exactly how we feel. And reaching the finish line after it all. I am going to save it. Love, Michelle x
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Janey you were 'me' yesterday. I was awaiting results of hist/path after mastectomy. There was a 10 (!) day wait. My love was also with me. Great news the rare cancer which had started under nipple and fanned outwards had ALL been excised. my wait was forgotten in our relief - tears of such jubilation. This morning I know my life is starting afresh after a month of 'waitings'. Life will change but there's a new appreciation of 'sisters' with bc.
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You know I will hold your hand Annie.
Sending you wonderful wishes and lovely thougths.
Go confidently in the direction of your dream. Live the life you've imagined. Henry Thoreau
Much love comes your way every day from all your pink sisters. They had to hold my hand the whole way through my travels and still do every day.
Lots of love always, Mich xoxooxoxox
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Hey Janey
You will have to do all your writings in the middle of the night obviously when your mind is in thought mode with nothing else to interrupt it.
You have put in words what every women and man feels when they go down the road you have been.
I wasn't lucky enough to have my love to hold my hand through most of it but I knew he was with me in my thoughts and hugged me tight when he was home. I was so lucky to have all my beautiful pink sisters to hold my hand the whole journey and I couldn't have asked for better support. They still hold my hand today and unfortunately the waiting continues for me. It will soon be over I hope and then I will get my life back.
Keep your thoughts and words coming cause they are wonderful and so close to all our hearts. Thank you for sharing.
PS: I suggest you talk with the girls at BCNA as I am sure they would love that piece to be printed in the Beacon for all to see.
Lots of love always, Mich xoxoxoxo
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I had tears rolling down my face reading your poem, it seemed like you were telling all of our stories.
Those words "you have cancer" are words we just don't want to hear and the beginning of a scary journey for us but like you I have been lucky to have my darling by my side and my beautiful daughter too.
And how good is life at the end of treatment, I have 6 more radiations ahead of me but I feel so good about the future and am so looking forward to a holiday and then returning to work.
thank-you.
donna
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I loved your poem- we can all identify with it.You have a way with words and it is so true about the waiting.It is the worst part of this crap journey and unfortunately we have to do this every year at checkup time.Are you writing a journal or perhaps a book of poems?Art is my therapy/distraction- being creative really helps to stay positive. Tonya xx
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I'm glad to give something nice back to everyone who has helped me on this journey.
You take care too. Hope the pain of your op is easing and the drains come out very very soon.
Love Janey xxx0 -
Don't know what more I can do with it but glad its has given pleasure to you.
Love Janey xxx0 -
Yes I agree Annie. Our pink sisters hold our hands everyday. I don't know what I would have done without everyone's wonderful support. It's brilliant. Love Janey xxx
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