dumb thing people say
Took the dog for a long walk to clear my head, and get some happy hormones pumping.
Husband asked if I was ok because I seemed a bit cranky, I told him I was terrified about surgery tomorrow and he said "you should be excited you are getting the tumor out"
NOT VERY HELPFUL
Comments
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Hello,
Wishing you good luck for tomorrow. I think sometimes husband's feel like they have to always be positive and put on a front when they may be scared too but not wish to admit it.
Julia
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Hello,
Wishing you good luck for tomorrow. I think sometimes husband's feel like they have to always be positive and put on a front when they may be scared too but not wish to admit it.
Julia
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My husband drove me so crazy during my chemo sessions in 2002, that when I had chemo for a small new cancer this year, I went alone!! He was really supportive in his own way, but he kept making lame jokes and insensitive comments without meaning to. Lately, he has asked my surgeon if I'll turn into a bitch when the chemo brings on menopause (my female surgeon just gave him a withering look). He's also been known to ask if there's a catalogue that HE can pick my new boobs from. He thinks it's hilarious. He's never quite understood why mammograms and doctor's visits put me on edge for several days before. Thank goodness the girls on here understand! All the very best for your surgery. xx Jane
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My husband drove me so crazy during my chemo sessions in 2002, that when I had chemo for a small new cancer this year, I went alone!! He was really supportive in his own way, but he kept making lame jokes and insensitive comments without meaning to. Lately, he has asked my surgeon if I'll turn into a bitch when the chemo brings on menopause (my female surgeon just gave him a withering look). He's also been known to ask if there's a catalogue that HE can pick my new boobs from. He thinks it's hilarious. He's never quite understood why mammograms and doctor's visits put me on edge for several days before. Thank goodness the girls on here understand! All the very best for your surgery. xx Jane
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I think people are in such shock that they don't realise that what they say really hurts the person concerned. When I rang my mother to tell her that I had breast cancer, her answer......."I knew, I just knew you had breast cancer". I was dumfounded, I couldn't believe what she had just said. I never answered her back because "I wouldn't be that rude!" It's like when people constantly tell you to "be positive", they don't know what you're feeling, you try to be positive but sometimes it's just not that easy.
Good luck with your operation and we'll be thinking of you.
Dale xx
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I think people are in such shock that they don't realise that what they say really hurts the person concerned. When I rang my mother to tell her that I had breast cancer, her answer......."I knew, I just knew you had breast cancer". I was dumfounded, I couldn't believe what she had just said. I never answered her back because "I wouldn't be that rude!" It's like when people constantly tell you to "be positive", they don't know what you're feeling, you try to be positive but sometimes it's just not that easy.
Good luck with your operation and we'll be thinking of you.
Dale xx
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Well put Dale. People seem to think that because the hair has grown and the red from the radiation is gone, everything is back to normal. You might look all right on the outside but under the clothing, and under the skin, all is not well and takes quite a bit to get used to. It isn't easy but reading the blogs from people in here that have been through the process is just so inspiring.
Hope everything went well.
Lynne XX
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Yes Lynne, this is such a wonderful site, you are constantly inspired by such lovely ladies who are always there to help and offer advice despite their own problems. You can relax and be yourself and know that no-one is judging you or telling you to "be positive" all the time. They understand what you're going through and when they say "I know how you feel", they really do, and they are only too happy to assist you in any way they can so as to make your journey a little easier. We are so lucky to have a place where we can just be ourselves, to ask for advice, to vent, and to know that the pink ladies really "do understand".
Dale xx
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Yes Lynne, this is such a wonderful site, you are constantly inspired by such lovely ladies who are always there to help and offer advice despite their own problems. You can relax and be yourself and know that no-one is judging you or telling you to "be positive" all the time. They understand what you're going through and when they say "I know how you feel", they really do, and they are only too happy to assist you in any way they can so as to make your journey a little easier. We are so lucky to have a place where we can just be ourselves, to ask for advice, to vent, and to know that the pink ladies really "do understand".
Dale xx
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Surgery went ok I supose 2 sentinal nodes taken and will find out next thursday if I need more surgery. I can handle the pain but all the waiting is doing my head in, core biopsy, wait for results, diagnosis wait for surgery, patology wait for results.
One positive. You amazing people, strangers who understand, stepping up to help me through, when you are all having your own battles. Thank you, thank you thank you
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My dad always said that everyone "finds their own". It makes sense and is so good when it happens. Like minded people can always be there for each other. Us pink laides will always support each other and it really does feel good!!!!! Time will pass for you - just take one day at a time and try as hard as you can to Live in the Moment. Thinking of you. XLeonie
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Both times I've been diagnosed (2002 and 2011), the only part I couldn't handle was the waiting time after the core biopsy and the waiting for results after surgery. As soon as I knew my results and the treatment plan was decided, everything seemed to be ok again. You know what you're facing and you feel proactive once the plan of attack has been decided upon. It's a surreal world we are plunged into with breast cancer, but I eventually started to feel my old normal self again and just got on with things. Going through treatment and having a mastectomy is my 'new normal', and I don't dwell on it any more than I have to. The best thing is talking to the other girls on this site and realizing that lots of people are dealing with the same thing and are happy and enjoying their lives.0
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Both times I've been diagnosed (2002 and 2011), the only part I couldn't handle was the waiting time after the core biopsy and the waiting for results after surgery. As soon as I knew my results and the treatment plan was decided, everything seemed to be ok again. You know what you're facing and you feel proactive once the plan of attack has been decided upon. It's a surreal world we are plunged into with breast cancer, but I eventually started to feel my old normal self again and just got on with things. Going through treatment and having a mastectomy is my 'new normal', and I don't dwell on it any more than I have to. The best thing is talking to the other girls on this site and realizing that lots of people are dealing with the same thing and are happy and enjoying their lives.0
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I agree with you Jrova, the waiting time for results is horrendous. My husband kept telling me that I was not a nice person to live with when I was waiting for radiotherapy to begin. When I actually got given my six weeks of appointments I started to come good, and I'm sure that it was due to the fact that I felt in control again (I am a control freak) and that I was able to get organised and get on with things, instead of just "waiting". I find this site absolutely wonderful, all the lovely ladies always ready to offer advice without criticism or judgement. I gain the best support from these ladies, as I have often felt alone on my brief journey as I sometimes feel that due to my "early breast cancer" diagnosis, the fact that there was no lymph node involvement, and my pathology was excellent, that all I had to do was "think positive" and everything would be fine, but as we know, it isn't always that easy.
Dale
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I agree with you Jrova, the waiting time for results is horrendous. My husband kept telling me that I was not a nice person to live with when I was waiting for radiotherapy to begin. When I actually got given my six weeks of appointments I started to come good, and I'm sure that it was due to the fact that I felt in control again (I am a control freak) and that I was able to get organised and get on with things, instead of just "waiting". I find this site absolutely wonderful, all the lovely ladies always ready to offer advice without criticism or judgement. I gain the best support from these ladies, as I have often felt alone on my brief journey as I sometimes feel that due to my "early breast cancer" diagnosis, the fact that there was no lymph node involvement, and my pathology was excellent, that all I had to do was "think positive" and everything would be fine, but as we know, it isn't always that easy.
Dale
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