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Living in fear !



  • Maudelicious
    Maudelicious Member Posts: 14
    Thank you @ddon . Yes only me and the children- they are all grown up but I don’t want them to have to worry .. that’s my job .. I hope you also find the help and support via a councillor.. 😊
    I think we can only push thoughts and feelings down for so long and then we get a champagne cork effect of emotions 😊😂
  • Dory65
    Dory65 Member Posts: 323
    I can relate @Maudelicious. I barely got off the hamster wheel of work and caring for family, house, be treated for early BC, then straight back into it. Recently had the three month post active treatment appointment with the surgeon. Will be seeing the oncologist in a few weeks for the next check-up and continue taking Tamoxifen. I keep coming back to this forum even though I seem to be "OK now". Probably because I haven't really processed, digested or resolved my fears about BC treatment, side-effects and of course the cancer itself and recurrence risk......."But you're alright now" is a common phrase in response to any attempt to talk about it. So, I come here.
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,020
    Keep that sense of humour going, @Maudelicious - it is one of the things that really helps me!!  Check out out 'naughty but funny' thread (the last one I put up is HILARIOUS & not 'all that naughty' ... !) and of course our Friday Funnies - feel free to whack up anything that you find humourous yourself, as we thrive on laughter!!  xx

  • Maudelicious
    Maudelicious Member Posts: 14
    Thank you @arpie .. will head over and have a look .. I love humour 😊
  • jennyss
    jennyss Member Posts: 1,853
    A heartfelt thanks to @Maudelicious, and everyone who has posted on this discussion. It is great to share our fears, support each other and also have a good laugh!

    from jennyss in Western NSW
  • Maudelicious
    Maudelicious Member Posts: 14
    Thank you @primek yes I think the mindset is the key .. yes I have had more investigations than normal due to a great listening doctor .. all still fresh in my mind so I try not to over think it all . I am getting better 
    you have been through so much more than me ..and a great mindset you have yourself .. encouraging reading . Take care x 
  • Maudelicious
    Maudelicious Member Posts: 14
    @jennyss I almost feel relieved finding this forum and the people truly getting where I’m coming from .. 
    it’s just so nice 
    take care have a lovely weekend x 
  • Dory65
    Dory65 Member Posts: 323
    Hi All,
    Regarding fears related to BC diagnosis, treatment and related health risks, I've just been reading an article which may interest you.
    Breast Cancer Survivorship: a comprehensive review of long-term medical issues and lifestyle recommendations

    My poor mum was diagnosed in the mid 1980s, in her early 50s. She suffered for years with lymphedema. She had two recurrences after 10 years and passed away in 2001. With no support group, no internet and only her GP to talk to, it must have been a lonely 'journey'. She never spoke much about it with us, her adult children. I think it was just too hard, too sad, and I guess she didn't want to burden us.

    In what must be in some ways a reaction to my mum's experience and because the world has opened up via the internet and it's now OK to question/query medical opinions (and we have more choices), I have gone the complete opposite way. I talk openly with my adult son. He does his own research. I do my own reading and research...what I'm getting at is that I want to know and understand BC and the big picture as much as I can. That way, at least I can do my best to stay well or recognise telltale sysmptoms early.

  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,194
    Many thanks for the article, I will read it through slowly, but a quick scan confirms that old truism - if you are going to get cancer, your best shot is to be healthy first! Clearly that’s not going to happen with everyone, and the older you are, the more chances you have of something else not being quite right - complications from underlying ailments affect almost every illness and effective treatment, including novel Coronavirus. And as cancer may be particularly aggressive in younger patients, who may be otherwise very healthy, it’s not a heartening position. The major difficulty is for patient and medical practitioners to work out what is worse -  acceptance of treatment with limited information or scaring off any treatment by too many worst case scenarios. At the time, I may have refused treatment if I had been told that I would certainly get lymphoedema and an arrhythmia. I knew there was a chance of the first, not much about the second. Modern treatment of lymphoedema means that it has very little impact on my life. Many people in their late 60s (my age at diagnosis) get an arrhythmia without the benefit of breast cancer, and mine has responded well to treatment, again has little impact on my life besides taking a couple of pills daily. Not having all the treatment I had for cancer may have resulted in a recurrence (none to date, seven years) or of course my death. I don’t believe I was well enough informed to make those decisions by myself at the time - more easily done with hindsight. I now understand that life is inherently dangerous, safety is a bit of an illusion. Accepting that is not easy, but it definitely reduces the incidence of living in fear!