Trying to cope alone

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  • neeny
    neeny Member Posts: 15
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    My employer stated I needed a clearance certificate that I am able to work and drive. I was sure that the Doctor today would give me that. No. She looked at my breast the nibble is approx. 3 times bigger and is of course very tender. She said no you need to have counselling and at least 3 more weeks off, you have been through a lot. "some people think they are tough but later on they fall to pieces".
    I was not expecting that, so I got another certificate for 2 weeks and have to go back Monday for a mental health plan.So another 2 weeks off my long service leave as I have exhausted my sick leave.
    Though I would give a call to my office lady and tell her what was going on as I thought I would be at work Monday. She said I am glad you called as I am just typing up my resignation to leave 30th Aug. Got a better job with double the $$.
    I thanked her for her work and said you have to do what is right for you.
    Now my brain is running and wont stop. This will leave no one in the office at the start of sept  if I don't  get a certificate to return to work. I will not be able to cope by myself. My employer had a stroke 5 years ago and I have been running it for her.

    So now I am upset and do not know how to fix this.


  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392
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    I returned at half time. And built up. This allowed me to go home and rest if needed.

    It's your employees responsibility to replace or even hire a good temp in these times. They will cope and you can only do so much. You need to think of yourself too. 
  • CRM
    CRM Member Posts: 91
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    Returning part-time or doing some work from home might be an option? 
  • neeny
    neeny Member Posts: 15
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    CRM said:

    Returning part-time or doing some work from home might be an option?  No that would not be an option. I have just spoken to a good friend and she has helped my mind and I feel much better now. It is great having people to share with. Thanks

  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,573
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    Right now, it is more important that YOU recover fully before going back to work. 

    Much as we'd like to think we are totally indispensable at work and that 'no-one can replace me' - I used to think the same!   However, looking at it logically - with you taking 4 weeks holiday every year is proof enough that they can definitely 'get along' without you, without you having the guilts.  ;)  

    As @primek says - there are a raft of options (including temps) to get them thru tough times.   Who knows - you may head in a different direction yourself, further down the track. 

    You were obviously very loyal to your employer when she had her stroke and they should appreciate you even more for that - I hope they are as loyal to you now, in your own time of need.

    Take care   xx
  • neeny
    neeny Member Posts: 15
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    Thanks @arpie I realise for a change I have to put myself first. This is a change, even my GP Dr loves my new attitude. I think I was just shocked that my office worker is moving on. My previous office worker was with me for 13.5 years. Lucky me. Hope your journey has the best results. Love being able to share on here and get different opinions which makes me feel so much better.

  • [Deleted User]
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    Hi @neeny, it’s great that you are taking the time you need. My oncologist told me to be careful about getting doctor’s certificates for too long because the workplace can exclude you from working. Also, you can always go to another doctor if you wanted a clearance/ a second opinion about work. I think that comment about falling to pieces is a bit odd. Everyone is an individual with individual responses. Their version of falling to pieces might be another doctor’s version of keeping it together. Different opinions can sometimes help. All the best with your treatment. 
  • neeny
    neeny Member Posts: 15
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    Thanks @LucyE for you response to my post. I see my oncologist on Tuesday so naturally I will get her opinion on my returning to work. If I return to work soon I will not have anyone to help me in the office until I find someone. So  5 people who work there are going to have their jobs in jeopardy. I do not need this going on now. I want to just for a change look after myself.
  • [Deleted User]
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    @neeny take care and all the best with your appointment. Good to hear you are putting yourself first. It sounds stressful.