How long should you keep working.

Angelo

Hi everyone, 
I was diagnosed with Mets in December 2018 and am having pleasing results to date, however I’ve been told that Ribociclib is only effective for a year, I’m hoping my Oncologist is wrong. I am working full time in a senior management position and feeling the effects of fatigue from the treatment. My work is my life and a distraction from the reality of this shit disease. I’m 57 and financially could consider dropping my hours and stepping down from my role. My fear is am I giving into this shit disease or is it time to start easing up and smelling the roses. The unknown of how much time I have and the quality of time is weighing me down and causing anxiety. I’m so tired of the uncertainty and inability to concentrate and even make decisions because of this shit disease... it’s hard work and it’s been a f... hard day 😩. Is there any hope out there, if so send it my way xxx

AndyC

Hi Angelo, sorry you are having a shitty day my oncologist hasn’t been able to say how long the ribociclib will work for, she has a patient who has been on it for 4 years! Hoping you have a better day tomorrow x

kmakm

I think it's about self-knowledge @Angelo. Only you know the answer.

How much is work intrinsic to your enjoyment of life? If it fulfils you, brings you contentment and satisfaction, and outweighs the exhaustion, then keep working, making adjustments as required.

Maybe you could try approaching it as a retirement decision. We're advised to have plans for retirement. You're retiring in a month... what's the plan? How does the thought of retiring in a month make you feel? Panicked or relieved? Are there hobbies you want to pursue? Places to go, books to read, new skills to learn?

Perhaps a few sessions with a counsellor to parse through your options, motivations, hesitations and anxieties would be useful.

Some people with mets get more time than they expect, others get less. And everyone, mets or otherwise, wants to die with no regrets. Keep talking here, let us know what you're thinking. Big hug, K xox

primek

Whilst I don't have metastatic disease, all of us when faced with breast cancer diagnosis think about stuff like this.

So I say...do what you love. If you thrive by working and it makes you feel mentally great and not physically too taxing...why stop? If you feel you need to work a bit less due to tiredness...then look at that. Lots if  work places will accommodate that.
There are other treatments after ribociclib, so even when it stops being effective that doesn't mean that's it.
Working on bucket lists can be helpful. So...if you want to see the pyramids...have that holiday. It doesn't mean you have to do it all now...finish work because you think you should rather than want to. Great holidays take money...so working and regular breaks can be the perfect combo.
Small steps. You'll know when the time is right to finish.
We all have shitty days. ..that's what sick leave is for. Or having a short break. 
My sister lived 10 years with metastatic disease. She and her husband bought an ostrich farm. She volunteered at her grandkids kindergarten so she got more time with them....she did this right up to last few weeks. She thrived on being busy and useful. Something I suspect you do too. 
Kath x

Angelo

Thanks for your supportive messages...they are all valued xx

Sister

Hi @angelo I'm not where you are but agree with what the others say.  If work is getting you down then think about how you might scale down or retire.  If you cannot see yourself happy not working - then stick with it.  Are you able to negotiate a break or possibly a sideways move (mentoring?) with less hours?  I don't know what your onc is measuring your prognosis on, but from what I've heard, it's length of string stuff.  What's really important is that you enjoy what time you have as much as possible, whether it's measured in months or decades.

iserbrown

@Angelo
The decision is personal and it sounds like you're at the crossroads. Don't consider it as giving into the disease, if you decide to finish work but rather looking at it as a new chapter. A new chapter without stress perhaps. 
I had a friend with Mets and her fatigue and continued treatment meant making the work life balance a priority.  Work gave her a project which she completed in its rough format and her friends stepped in and formatted her documents into a finished project.
Enjoying time with family and friends and making memories and still feeling useful with the project she had helped her cope.
There's no right or wrong approach it's what you are comfortable with!
Best wishes and here's to ongoing health improvement. 
Take care 

elisewjk

Hi @Angelo, I too was diagnosed with Stage 4 with bone mets out of the blue last Oct 2018. I too am still working full time. Between Oct and now, I've had every possible diagnostic scan, test, bloods, trial and error with some drugs, plus 2 x restaging scans. Its been a bit hectic! lol I'm on Letrozole (makes me fatigued somewhat), Ribociclib and Denosumab. My last restaging scans showed the breast lesion has pretty much faded away to nothing and my bone mets seems to be relatively inactive and stable. That's as good as I can hope for, yay! I still feel fine, I felt fine before this journey started. When I ask my Onco about progression, he's very non committal as everyone seems to respond differently. Some make it for many more years and others pass sooner. I've also asked my Onco point blank what my prognosis might be, as I too want to plan for when I should stop working. I like my work and I want to keep working, its part of me. My work has been very very accommodating and have "cut me some slack" when I asked for it, given everything I was going thru initially. Have you asked your work also? As to when to stop working, I guess when that time comes, we will know to make that decision. Unfortunately, there is no real formula or rules to follow, as to when might be the "right time". The only thing I'm sure of is that at some time, I will make the call to finish work. I've also found this journey has reframed my thinking somewhat and made me determine what is most important to me. And I've decided that I won't do anything I don't want to do anymore. If you still like working, stay working. If you don't, make the call and enjoy the time you have doing what you like doing best. Best wishes for your journey. Cheers

Angelo

Thank you for your guidance. I think at times you can have moments where you are so desperate for hope. You just wish someone would tell you how long you have so you can plan. Most days I’m great, I’m working and I don’t have to think about this cancer crap. Then all of a sudden there is the desperation, the panic and urgency to seek answers that may provide some hope. My Oncologist told me three to four years and that sucks, I want more happy years. Xx

Patti J

@Angelo. Not impressed with your oncologist giving you a time span. My oncologist told me I wasn't going to die for a while yet. Because really, how do they know?

J_Jen1

Hello Angelo,
For me, one of the hardest things is not being in control of the time line! Every person has their own disease load, and response to treatment.. For some, ribociclib/Letrozole may be three years. Mine was less than one year.
I too have my down days when fatigue takes its toll, and I wonder how long I can keep working. I have had to cut back to 4 days per week. 
I am about to start  a new treatment with Olaparib.  Who knows, maybe this time I will be on the long timeline of drug effectiveness . I continue to feel well, be active, and life is mostly pretty normal . Only difference is that I know my life will not go on forever. 
I am thankful that treatment options are so much better than they were thirty years ago for my mum. 

elisewjk

Hi @Angelo, I'd also highly recommend some counselling, if you haven't done any already. Whilst the can't change the final outcome, they can help you with some really good coping strategies to make the best of it. I've found this really helpful too. Cheers

Patchworkmum

I’m currently on sick leave from work as an aged care nurse,  whilst having. treatment. My oncologist also gave me a timeline, 2-6 months without treatment or 2-5 years with treatment. I hoping she is wrong. I really would like to go back to work even if for less shifts once treatment has stopped. But realistically I think that decision will come after scans and a discussion with hubby. Let’s all agree cancer sucks 

Merv

My decision was spurred by yet another round of redundancies and cut backs. I was knocked back when the redundancies were first offered - our national broadcaster took the view that "sacking cancer girl" was a bad look. Management came good with a payout three months later, on the quiet. I don't miss the 3am alarm or the half hour deadlines but I do feel like I should be doing something constructive with whatever time I have left - I just haven't worked what that is. Is 56 too late for career counselling?! Good luck with whatever path you choose

Sister

Never too late too change career if that's the sort of constructive you're looking for!