Men Who Care
Comments
-
Maryanne was 42 when I lost her. At the end it all happens so fast. I consider myself lucky in a way as we had a couple of days to talk about our life together and i was there when it was over. I hope that i helped her on her way but i will never know. I am trying to get on with it but some days it is too hard. do you guys dream about your partners? i have not yet and wonder if I ever will' We were chilldhood sweethearts. Seems unlikely that i will fill up the empty spaces she has left me with.
How can a heart break
a thousand times a day
How can I forget about
the day you went away.
Its got to be impossible
to hurt this hard, this long
But I make it through each day
that proves that theory wrong.
Theres no scars on the outside
for all the world to see
The only ones who know their there
are my closest friends and me.
I packed your things the other nite
and got them ready to go
to ahouse you'll never live in
a place you'll never know.
Anoyther day without you
it wont be the last
Ive got no future vision
I can only see the past.
Of the times we were together
times we dreamed and loved
without you now I have no dreams
and that is just to hard
0 -
Garry, I have had dreams of Andrea since she passed, but not very often. In my case I lost Andrea very quickly and didn't get a chance to say all that needed to be said. I was there to hold her hand as she passed which means the world to me. I can't imagine how it is for you but I can appreciate how it must feel, given my own experiences. Each day has its own challenges and you never know what will trigger a really strong memory, just allow yourself to grieve, acknowledge yourself and your loss. The next step for me is choosing how I am going to make meaning of what I have been given and how I choose to contribute to others. I'm not saying you have to do it, I am simply saying that it brings me comfort.
Simon
0 -
I think in the future to be able to help others is a very noble idea and im sure maryanne would love to see me do that. for now im still a bit broken. Thanks to you i have somewhere to talk now. I never gave up on her and she never gave up. it was the third time around for maryanne and i guess after two times you get a little complacent. maryanne through her strength has already given me the guide lines for the rest of my life.
I used to fish alot. im going to try to go out in the morning. Not the first time Ive tried,
0 -
I made it out for a fish this morning. it was good and bad. I missed my 7.30 phone call from her asking what should i get get out for dinner..Im trying to pack a house and maryanne is a constant distraction. She is everywhere in this place.
0 -
sorry about my ordinary typing but im still learning.
0 -
sorry about my ordinary typing but im still learning.
0 -
Hello Garry, I've been very touched to read of the openess and clarity with which you express your pain and loss. Yes, the men here have all expressed such wonderful empathy and of themselves. Its great to see the encouragement you have found here. Hang in there, we all greive differently. As I read your story, I also see you recognising that which you are grateful for (regardless of the disease progression). That is VERY POWERFUL. Also you know your late wife would want the best for you, to live your life and care for your family. Those are the two things that helped me to move forward, to get direction and purpose, when the fog seemed inpenetratable. Reality is quite often differernt to our perception. Yes it can be a long way through, but through you will go. These little rememberences, that you have been blessed with will guide you. I recall something someone said; about the earliest ships with only compass and stars for navigation, that when they went into fog they would hold their bearing, and eventually come out on course. Keep your bearings you hvae mentioned, You will come through. I do recommend speaking with a counsellor, cancer council or palliative care dial up, if you can't get to one. Keep expressing yourself, very healthy. I found much care and empathy amongst church family, counsellors, family and friends. I was often surprised by who gave words of soothing love and encouragement, hang with them, maybe your fish
hope will lift you up as you grieve and rest. 0 -
Hello Garry, I've been very touched to read of the openess and clarity with which you express your pain and loss. Yes, the men here have all expressed such wonderful empathy and of themselves. Its great to see the encouragement you have found here. Hang in there, we all greive differently. As I read your story, I also see you recognising that which you are grateful for (regardless of the disease progression). That is VERY POWERFUL. Also you know your late wife would want the best for you, to live your life and care for your family. Those are the two things that helped me to move forward, to get direction and purpose, when the fog seemed inpenetratable. Reality is quite often differernt to our perception. Yes it can be a long way through, but through you will go. These little rememberences, that you have been blessed with will guide you. I recall something someone said; about the earliest ships with only compass and stars for navigation, that when they went into fog they would hold their bearing, and eventually come out on course. Keep your bearings you hvae mentioned, You will come through. I do recommend speaking with a counsellor, cancer council or palliative care dial up, if you can't get to one. Keep expressing yourself, very healthy. I found much care and empathy amongst church family, counsellors, family and friends. I was often surprised by who gave words of soothing love and encouragement, hang with them, maybe your fish
hope will lift you up as you grieve and rest. 0 -
Hi Annies, thanks for taking an interest.
It seems that every day I learn a new way to miss her. I was seeing
a counsellor and I guess that it was helping. My job made it impossible to keep going. My/her friends ask me are you ok and I always answer yes I am,Im just not happy.
For a bloke who never did before I seem to to write alot of poems, mor than 20 of them at this point. most of them are just for me but some of them I share with friends. Just not the really dark ones.
Weekends are bad. That was our time. we would go camping alot. They seem to go on forever with her not here.
Im taking time out this weekend to go to her favourite place and watch some DVDs I havent seen yet. Im hoping if I can watch them once it will make it easier to watch them again.
0 -
Hi Garry,Maybe you have found a new calling in life.Maybe it's time to put the poems into a book.Maybe you might even write a book.Our lives a filled with possibilities and dreams.I still shed a tear about Erin every now and then. And may do for ever but I am not concerned as to how or when will I stop.I know it won't.One thing about my journey so far is that I have such a passion for life and I am sure that is exactly what is meant to be.Use the page for all that it is worth, we are always just a click away.Put some of your work on here too if you want.Talk to you guys later..
0 -
Hi iclay. Sitting here without her for another nite I am finding it very hard to find any passion at this stage. Im looking for it still but no dice. Its not the quiet that kills me. we could say I love you without words. Its the way she made the room feel. The essence of the girl.
as for the poems the only reason I would do a book is to help others like
us,but I dont think most of them would help any one.
I get the key to mine andJosh's new house on monday that she helped buy. Im painting it in her colours. So bittersweet, Our first home and shes not here. I know its great and she would be pleased but I cant feel a damn thing but sorry shes not with me.
Six months ago I lost you
I know I'll never be the same
Our memories they haunt me
yet they somehow keep me sane
Lonely is a word
I nev er really knew
so long without you now
I guess were old friends too
Lonely dosent mention
the complete absence of light
It dosent tell how my fires gone out
and may never reignite
It dosent say I miss you
every second, every day
It doesnt say how lost I've been
since you went away
Lonelycant know how much
one man can depair
it cant count the times I cry
knowing your not there
It dosent mention what to do
now that you are gone
Of how I try to fill to fill the days
or why they are so long
0 -
Hi iclay. Sitting here without her for another nite I am finding it very hard to find any passion at this stage. Im looking for it still but no dice. Its not the quiet that kills me. we could say I love you without words. Its the way she made the room feel. The essence of the girl.
as for the poems the only reason I would do a book is to help others like
us,but I dont think most of them would help any one.
I get the key to mine andJosh's new house on monday that she helped buy. Im painting it in her colours. So bittersweet, Our first home and shes not here. I know its great and she would be pleased but I cant feel a damn thing but sorry shes not with me.
Six months ago I lost you
I know I'll never be the same
Our memories they haunt me
yet they somehow keep me sane
Lonely is a word
I nev er really knew
so long without you now
I guess were old friends too
Lonely dosent mention
the complete absence of light
It dosent tell how my fires gone out
and may never reignite
It dosent say I miss you
every second, every day
It doesnt say how lost I've been
since you went away
Lonelycant know how much
one man can depair
it cant count the times I cry
knowing your not there
It dosent mention what to do
now that you are gone
Of how I try to fill to fill the days
or why they are so long
0 -
Hi Dean,I've worked out what I want but need assistance to get it. Can you help?The desire of my eyes is in the ancient nest and I want her back. Yes that's right,Karen's dead. However I'm still working at bringing her back anyway I can.Breast cancer got her years ago but I'll never give up on her. So. What's next?I'm all out of ideas. Karen's in plot 237 at Murchison Cemetery with the inscriptionon the plaque 'The girl who gave love its shine'. Any help will be much appreciated. Yours in anticipation Gronk0
-
Hi everyone I hope you are all well, it has been a while since I have been on here, I have been getting my life back together, I am now back on top and things are going good for me thanks to the support I received from all of you. Some good news, I have a new show on the 29 September it's my Men in Black show, Johnny O'Keefe and Roy Orbison at the Sandgate Tow Hall I would love to see some of you there tickets are only $11.50 get more info and tickets here http://www.stickytickets.com.au/12702 well again guys thanks and I wish you all the best.
0
