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Im alone and dont want to burden others



  • Brenda5Brenda5 Burrum Heads, QldMember Posts: 2,392
    Only diagnosed Wednesday? You are still in shock then. It took me a good fortnight to even come to terms with it at all. Having a good general doctor is a must. I really didn't and it has taken me 3 years to find a good one but I did initially have a McGrath breast nurse who answered a lot of my first questions as I knew absolutely nothing about breast cancer at the time. 
    At least crying is letting your feelings out and that's got to be a positive. Be honest with your employer when you have an idea of what treatments and possible time off you may need. All you can do is do your best and muddle through like the rest of us. Be a survivor. <3
  • NefertariNefertari Member Posts: 288
    You are not a burden here, it is probably the best decision I made joining this forum. 
    You get good advice from those who know what you are going through.
    I was officially diagnosed 4th December but I found my large lump at the end of October and I instinctively knew it was not good. 
    I waited a week to get into my GP, it's a busy clinic but I wanted to see my usual GP because I love & trust him. 
    Then I had to wait another week for the Mammogram, ultrasound, called back within 2 days by my GP with results "most likely cancer" and three areas of concern. 
    I waited 3 weeks from "urgent"  referral to get in to the public health sysytem.. their PDF says within a week for urgent, I had to call a couple of times and in the end my GP rang and I had an appointment the next day.....it was a good month of limbo land and it sucked and I was frustrated.
    Once I was in the system though, it has been full on every day, you are dealing with so much new information.  Crikey the drug names are enough to do my head in. 
    Be kind to yourself and ask all the questions you want, being alone must be very hard, we are all here for you. :) xx

  • Megs04Megs04 AdelaideMember Posts: 47
    Hi thanks. I feel the same no one to give me a hug at night and 8n the morning when im alone with my thoughts and not knowing exactly whats in store and terrified of the treatment. Ive developed a phobia of needles aleady so.im in trouble lol
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 4,127
    edited December 2018

    Great advice above for you however your fear and loneliness is not something that I can give you a solution to.  May be you should reach out the counselling line for some coping mechanisms

    Cancer Council Helpline 13 11 20

    Open 9 am till 5 pm during Christmas & New Year, closed only on public holidays


    Take care

  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 3,890
    @Chelley59  & Meg  - any time you feel you need some company, just jump on here & chat away!  I reckon there will be someone online every day, even Xmas Day, Boxing Day & New Year

    Try not to stress if your comment isn't replied to immediately - that happens sometimes too! 

    Take care, and as @iserbrown mentions above - don't hesitate to call the 
    Cancer Council Helpline 13 11 20  if you feel the need xxx

    Open 9 am till 5 pm during Christmas & New Year, closed only on public holidays


  • Beryl C.Beryl C. Member Posts: 238
    These early days, before you have a 'plan' are the worst. YES! to phoning the Cancer Council Helpline. I had a masectomy the week before Xmas and did not get pathology results until Jan.10th. I found myself feeling weepy at really odd times, what did I do? Let the tears flow for a bit and then suggested to myself that I get on with the day which included making that phone call. It turned out to be my major support - so practical and empathetic. xBeryl
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 4,592
    For the newbies, head over to the "Night Howls" discussion if you're awake in the middle of the night and just want to reach out (or during the day, for that matter).  I don't get there as much now as I did but it certainly helped when I had no specific question but just wanted to connect with someone else who was as wakeful as me.
  • NefertariNefertari Member Posts: 288
    Megs04 I so wish I could give you a hug :)  Great advice and support as usual from everyone on the forum.   
    With my rotten sleeping I do tend to stay offline at night because it stimulates me but sometimes it's enough for me to just read someones thoughts on here and I feel less anxious. Thanks Sister for that advice <3
    Please reach out here or the Cancer Council Helpline, you are definitely surrounded by people who care.
  • Megs04Megs04 AdelaideMember Posts: 47
    Hi everyone and thanks. Im crying right now. Its the morning and i feel sad all over again. I was meant to go my good friend (since we were teens) yesterday for her family xmas lunch. She hss supported me the most so far. She lives in the country..My 19 year old daughter is an internaliser and she founf out 2 dsys before my she hsd binge eating disorder. So she had an anxiety attsck and couldnt go i was already feeling overwhelmed at the thought of socializing. So i messaged my friend saying not going. She messged me just now saying she broke down when i coukdnt go snd told her parents.and broke my trust.  Its just so shit how this effects everyone.and it makes you feel more alone. Cause you have to support them too and feelbad for them. Ps done with this already. I think ill ring the help line you have all advised me. I need someone not emotional to off load too. 
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 3,267
    HI Megs04
     it is a horrible time when you are first diagnosed add to that any other health issues and it just makes it all hard. 
    I am sure you friend is struggling with holding your diagnosis to herself. Don't hold it against her that she broke down and told her parents if they are supportive that is good as she needs support in her own way about your diagnosis. 
    To  help me at the start feel in control I went and got my Will sorted and guardianship for my boys (they have special needs) that way I knew if the worse happened I was sorted. it is a horrible thing to have to think about but it gave me some sense of control in a situation where we have little power but to Do as the medical team suggests if we want to beat this Bitch of a thing. 
    We understand the sense of emotional turmoil we all face when we are diagnosed.  I like you am Alone I had 3 children at home still  15, 17, 25  The 15 yr old being the eldest functionally as the boys don't function at their age.  It was hard I would cry in the shower or in bed at night into my pillow so they didn't hear me as I didn't want them stressing any more than they already were. 
    Lying in bed in the night hours or early morning worrying can be so hard. 

    Everyone here understands the angst of diagnosis and will help you through this time. 

    By all means reach out and call the Cancer Council  Helpline 13 11 20  if you feel the need 

    Open 9 am till 5 pm during Christmas & New Year, closed only on public holidays


    Soldiercrab  hugs 

  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 4,127
    As @soldiercrab has said please don't be upset with your friend. It's the burden of knowing and not sharing can be just as  hard. 
    Here's a link from the BCNA website 


    Ringing the helpline will hopefully give you some coping mechanisms

    Take care 
  • Megs04Megs04 AdelaideMember Posts: 47
    Im not upset with her i feel bad for her. As she's grieving and trying to support me too its crazy. Thanks for the link 😊
  • Megs04Megs04 AdelaideMember Posts: 47
    Ps and im having to support her back lol
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 3,890
    So Sorry to hear about your daughter,@Megs04 .... sadly, it is more stress & pressure that you just don't need right now.  I hope she can pull up HER big girl pants, to help YOU get thru this!

    I hope you do ring the helpline & chat with someone who can talk you thru it, so you can find a happier place - or give you techniques to help cope, specially over Xmas & New Year.  

    Take care, and know that we are here for you xxx
  • Riki_BCNARiki_BCNA Administrator, Staff, Member, Moderator Posts: 320
    Hi @Megs04 sending you a pm
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