How do you tell people and what do you tell ?????
Options
Comments
-
After my surgery I announced I was going well after the cancer lump was out. I did it on my regular face book account. When I did chemo I posted a photo and did an update on side effects throughout. I had a whole cheer squad uplifting me through it and it was so cool!2
-
@AZ_N1 - well done, taking control of the whole thing like that!! That was very clever and a great suggestion by your boss!
All the best - I hope the hormone tablet side effects are settling down for you - tho it can take up to 6 months. I started out on Letrozole but it gave me really nasty side effects, so after 6 weeks, I swapped to Exemestane, which has worked well for me so far. Don't be afraid to ask about other tablets, if these ones are causing you too much grief.
Take care xxx0 -
@arpie - Thank you for your kinds words.
You may have noticed that was my first comment, I'm very new to reading the posts and had a little bit of courage to respond to someone so new to the experience.
I've made a note of your comments regarding the hormone tablets, thanks for the advice, it's greatly appreciated.
I found myself quite weepy last night, and reading through the posts and how supportive everyone is helps to know there's a wealth of information out there,
thanks again
2 -
I think it is up to each person to do what they feel comfortable with, that is to tell or not to tell.I have tried very hard to keep my diagnosis a secret. In my opinion it is absolutely no one else's business. I told my partner (he would notice my bald head and mutilated body lol) and my sister. They have been great. Other people have found out and when they do it causes me more angst than the cancer itself.I left my job and have not seen anyone from work since. Anyone who makes contact with me gets vague responses or I tell them I am looking after a family member.Unfortunately more people know than I am comfortable with. If I hadn't lost my hair I would be able to continue working as I have had almost no side effects which was lucky.Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Everyone faces this rotten roller-coaster differently and no particular way is right or wrong.Wishing you the best for your treatment and don't forget there is always someone on here to listen.0
-
Hi H_M_A,
welcome to this forum of wonderful support.
There is no right or wrong way of telling people. Just do what’s right for you as everyone handles things differently.
My husband and Itold our children first which I found the hardest as would everyone else that is in this exclusive group.
In my instance we told family and just a few close friends through messenger, so I could be telling them whilst I was wiping away the tears. I just asked them not to visit me until I was ready. It was nice to have the well wishes and the positive thoughts that I had received.
One thing I’m learning in this journey is to accept help if people offer.
Be kind to yourself, we are all here on this roller coaster ride together.
We can do this!
Sending hugs your way 😘
1 -
I’m a massive over sharer by nature and after I had the lumpectomy because the surgeon was confident it was just a fibroid. I posted a photo on my Facebook wall, of the area all taped up. With the words...“See, told you it was nothing”....Famous last words hey?
A week later the biopsy results came in - positive for Cancer.
I had my bestie with me but the drive home was rather solemn, even tho the surgeon had said ‘at least you got it early’...
One FB friend asked about results so I confided in her but it wasn’t til I had Node surgery and a check of margins - 3 weeks after initial diagnosis that I posted on FB again.
More to tell many at once rather than have to keep keep repeating myself - in retrospect I wish I hadn’t opened Pandora’s Box cos now people - who would barely speak to me - are constantly checking on me. Almost like they feel obliged.
And another who I had been close to decided I was too sick to continue volunteering for her rescue group. Based on how badly she recovered from a similar situation, instead of asking me if I wanted to continue.
So, now I only post the positive news.
Of course every circumstance is different & it’s totally a personal choice but given the pussy-footing and cotton wool approach of people online, I wish I hadn’t.
I’m more your ‘well ain’t that shit news’ type person, not your ‘OMG what will I do now?’ person, but like I say, everyone is different xx2 -
@Wonk thanks for the message. I filled my FB friends list down to 120 and sent a note, it was really nice, I haven’t told my work, they’re not supportive and quite a toxic place so no need to advise them. My doctor has given me time out as the black-dog has got caught of me and I’m in a constant fog. Will be opting for a mastectomy of the left breast at this stage and just trying to work out the pros and cons. I’m sure it’ll be a roller coaster but at least I now have a cheer squad xx2
-
Hi @H_M_A,
Every situation is different. Trust your gut. For me, I just told people that I had recently found out I had breast cancer and I believed I was able to beat it. I had a few close friends that saw me be vulnerable as well as my husband. On the whole, I’ve been surrounded by support and love. My work colleagues even sorted a daily meal delivery drop off while I recovered from surgery. Do what feels right for you xx
2 -
I was also recently diagnosed, with stage 2 breast cancer, after a week of telling people where I was at, I decided to create a Facebook page "She's Got Caner You Know". It has been great, helps me by talking about it and keeping everyone from all parts of my life in the loop xx4
