Emotions
Trikki2
Member Posts: 298 ✭
Hi all
Since chemo has begun, i feel life is different. Im anxious alot fearing what is going to happen next. I havent been going out and just feeling blah. Today whilst feeling like that a friend turned up. I cried on her shoulder and she gave me a canvas with never give up on it. I felt much better and she is going to come over and start walking with me.. tomorrow is a new day.. hugs to all of you going through this awful experience
Xxxx Trikki2
Since chemo has begun, i feel life is different. Im anxious alot fearing what is going to happen next. I havent been going out and just feeling blah. Today whilst feeling like that a friend turned up. I cried on her shoulder and she gave me a canvas with never give up on it. I felt much better and she is going to come over and start walking with me.. tomorrow is a new day.. hugs to all of you going through this awful experience
Xxxx Trikki2
4
Comments
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Hi Trikki2,
I was lucky enough to escape chemo and have only had to cope with radiation and Tamoxifen. I'm sure every one of us here though can relate to your feelings of anxiety and fear. It's great that your friend was able to support you and help you feel better. No matter how great our family and friends are though, nobody understands our anxieties like we understand each other. For a long time, after diagnosis, I would read these messages without contributing and would take comfort that so many others were going g through the same experiences, fears and anxieties as me. It really was, and still is a great comfort to k ow there are others that totally understand how we feel. Take care, take each day as it comes and try to have something little to look forward to each day, whether it be a little walk or a visit from a friend.
Michele xx3 -
@Trikki2 I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling anxious. I experienced this during chemo (and continue to have it now). I was diagnosed with anxiety at that time and my psychologist says it's very common in a diagnosis of breast cancer, as is depression. So you are very 'normal' as far as I'm concerned!
What a lovely friend you have! So, note to self, when I am feeling blah and weepy, reach out to a friend. Yes? Very good idea to have an exercise companion too. Would it be possible to lock in a few more mates to walk with you?
If you're into meditating or relaxation exercises, now would be a good time to do some. It's very good for anxiety. I use an app on my phone (Headspace) that has a programme especially for anxiety, and another for cancer.
Life is different, and we have lost the certainty we had before. The future is always unknown but a major illness shakes our foundations. We will adjust. I mean, what choice do we have?!
Hang in there love. Chemo is tough. But you'll deepen your understanding of yourself and feel very loved and cherished. Keep slogging, one foot in front of the other. Big hug, Kate xox3 -
Kate you are such a beautiful person who has obviously learnt alot through your cancer journey. I have had depression and anxiety for a long time and have to come off my tablets for surgical reasons. I will check out headspace. I love alternative therapy. I probably can get others to join me. I just have to make that step out.
Thanks lovely for all your support
Xxx trace
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Michele
Yes your right only we understand. People keep asking what can i do? Nothing you can do only we can do it but i appreciate them being there. My lesson is to take one day at a time. Triky to learn but im trying.
Thanks lovelyxxxx1 -
Next time someone says 'What can I do?" (and geeze that's an annoying question) you know what to say!1
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Hey @Trikki2,
Absolutely normal. Hopefully you can relax a bit as treatment goes on. I found that once I got into a routine of knowing the cycle of the treatment and realised that I could still function quite ok on most days the stress lessened and you become a bit more chilled about it. Just another day at the office so to speak.
I found keeping as busy as I physically could was really useful and distracted my brain from constantly thinking about treatment and BC.
I also took a lot of photos of anything fun we did along the way. Days out, beautiful sunrises, parties, family trips etc.
That way when you look back you can see all the good things you did in amongst the not so good. This was really beneficial. Instead of just looking back and going well that was a shit time. I could see how many good days were in there. Made me feel better about it and it gives you a good sense of strength when you can reflect on "Hey, look at everything I did while going through that"
Every body deals with things in different ways. You'll find your groove lovely.
Keep on poking along and the end will appear sooner than you think.
All the best xoxoxox5 -
During chemo it was definitely a rollercoaster ride of feelings for me. Some days I was fine, some I would wake up and cry immediately. Go easy on yourself and if you can access counseling, do it, would be my advice. Counseling was offered to me through the hospital (St Vincent's Melbourne) and has been a great help to me.2
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OMG me too! I don’t think there isn’t an emotion I’ve ridden in the last week since chemo started plus some beautiful side effects that had me doubting everything. I don’t do sick well I do major sick even worse. My head is a mess I’ve tried a couple of mediation things that had me wanting to rip my own ears off. Generally feeling blah, have sooked bad to the nurses, Monday I was thinking how in hell am I going to be able to do this but today I’m slightly more optimistic (read feeling less unwell physically). Still ranting against it all in my head - how could I be sick I felt fine but now I’m having treatment I feel shit. Anxious about my ability to do this out of control hate having to pace myself. Generally not accepting my lot, which of course messes with my head some more
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Hey @Sarnicad,
Sounds familiar. Once I finished being a babbling mess, I was just pissed off with the situation as well. I actually think it helped somewhat.
A friend had given me a t shirt which said "Fuck you chemo you hit like a bitch" LOL. She said I was to wear it for treatment.
I never wore it but those words were in my head every time I walked through the door. Gave me a giggle anyways.
Keep on trucking lovely. You'll get it done. xoxo0 -
I love that tshirt @kezmusc. @Sarnicad its friggin hard to get out of your head and think positively. We dont have control in this situation. I dont do sick well either. As i keep saying tomorrow is another day and i will find the positive. Today I made sure i was in clothing and not pjs and went outside for a bit. Xxxx
Trikki23
