How do you handle the big anniversaries?
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My second anniversary of being cancer free was May 26th 2018. The day my surgeon ripped my tittie off along with the 3cm fucker of a tumor i had in there. I only remembered a couple weeks ago lol. I was proud of myself too as I actually forgot all sbout it. Its good sign I’m moving on with life after the shit storm that is bc. But I also have other shit going on too at the moment that’s more important. Last year though I remembered, I guess being the first anniversary it was more of a thank fuck I’ve survived moment. It gets easier with time thsts for sure. But I’m definately in for cake if anyone wants to invite me over lol !!! Margie xxx1
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I have my first mammogram and ultrasound since my diagnosis this Friday. It will be a year since my biospy on 31 May. I have an early appointment and then a lovely weekend planned so I am trying not to think about it. I also believe what you believe @Harlee- I've had the surgery, chemo and radiation and am on Tamoxifen now. I've worked really hard to get past it, so I have to believe it will all be OK.0
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When you have done everything you can you do have to believe it will be OK. Sometimes that's incredibly difficult, like maybe this week! But I think it's the best way to move forward. Best of luck on Friday. Plan something nice for the afternoon. Big hug, K xox0
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For each 'first' anniversary more a day of reflection for me of what had been 12 months ago and how far i had come in that time. I remember thinking early on that looking in the mirror every morning after my shower it would be a constant reminder of what had been...but it's not, as i don't even notice the scar at all (testament to my surgeon's skill!) and more importantly it just doesn't cross my mind. Like not noticing the 5 keyhole areas on my husband's tummy, leftovers of his prostate surgery...I've moved on. There's more important things in life, for me anyway, than worrying about whether bc will come back. And i know that's a luxury i, personally, have and others don't because for them that worry is very real. For my second anniversary coming up in July i don't think I'll even notice cos I'll be enjoying my new found even though short lived freedom from letrozole...bring it on!1
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@Harlee I love your philosophy. I received my call back letter on my birthday and had surgery on my mothers birthday so always remember. I bought myself beautiful earrings when I finished radiation and I treat myself lunch or coffee and cake after every hospital appointment. Don't know why I can't loose weight lol! I decided to acknowledge sad or hard days and congratulate myself for getting through them.0
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I’m pleased my words resonated with you @CatPie and @JanineG.
Since I wrote them last year I have celebrated 5 years since diagnosis and also 5 years since completing treatment! Yay me! 🥳
I really can’t remember if I celebrated the diagnosis anniversary? But the end of treatment was a biggie! It marked my last visit with the awesome doctor who has guided me through this mess. I thanked her and cried and hugged her and truthfully said I hope I never see you again! Then I went out to lunch with my husband and bought myself a gold bracelet.
I’m wearing that bracelet right now as I sit sipping my coffee in Paris!!!
I said it was a biggie...
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@harlee that sounds fantastic
my anniversary of diagnosis is looming large -21 days away and I’m not sure how I will cope. I’m still in active treatment (3 doses to go - counting down much!) one more echo and of course the dreaded 1 year mammogram. If someone says I have to have a biopsy I will cry - it is the one that terrifies me the most. As you can tell my head is a very messy place at the moment1 -
Just went back and read my first response on my thread. I did indeed mark the 27th April, one year of being cancer free. Nothing big, just quietly solitary and personal.1
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@Sarnicad my 5 years had a few ups and downs. It certainly hasn’t been all Champagne and roses.
At my 1 year mammogram I arrived directly from a 2 hour meeting with my solicitor totally stressed about my business partnership problems. I was supposed to be working (rather than visiting solicitors and doctors) and so had skipped my lunch break and was extremely dehydrated.
I fainted during the mammogram of course! Woke up with no idea where I was or what was happening and why a man I’d never seen before was holding my hands and staring into my eyes?
And then I realised I didn’t have any clothes on from the waist up...
Talk about confusing???
Then the mammogram tech finally reappears and tells me I fainted.
Then while sitting with the nice man who brought me a cup of tea and a biscuit (because I hadn’t eaten all day) I somehow managed to dump the cup of tea in HIS lap???
Finally get through the mammogram and ultrasound and I’m pretty keen to make my escape when they tell me that Dr XXX needs to see me. It’s the nice man with the cup of tea who is now wearing scrubs instead of wet pants.
I needed a biopsy and he was about to do it. Haha!
Anyway after a few days of stressing about the results it was all clear. At least it took my mind off my business issues.
There’s been a few more hiccups since then but you just have to take it one step at a time.
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OMG! You poor thing. You could turn that story into a small movie, I reckon, @Harlee SO glad the results were clear. That poor Doctor - does he run the other way when you see him now - of just make sure you are not holding a cup of tea!? LOL
I've noted most of my anniversaries on here rather than with the family & friends - tho did mention it to my 'breasties' who mentored me before I found BCNA.
I was a little apprehensive for the first MG/US 12 months after detection - and then it came back with a request for another biopsy and it was how that biopsy was handled, trying to get the appointment is what really stuffed with my mind. Sheer in competence I am afraid
I've now brought my end of year MG/US forward to October (instead of Nov as my biopsy was on Dec 21 last year) so I don't have yet another stuffed Xmas/New Year - having 2 in a row was bad enough! Hopefully they'll be clear this time!
Onwards & upwards .... my Rad Onc on Monday said that as far as she is concerned, I am Cancer Free ..... I hope so!!0 -
So glad things are better. For newbies its probably still hard.
I remember the week of it. Hard to forget as so close to Xmas. However my other losses are prominent. The loss of a dear pet, farewelling my SIL by phone as she slipped into an unconscious state days before she passed. I reflect. I sometimes write a blog, and acknowledge that I'm still here, scars and all, and many I knew are not.
But I think instead of sadness it should be a celebration of life. Do something you love. ..and reflect on the fact you are here to still do it.
Count your blessings as some people say.
It's easy for all us to focus on what we've lost, what we've suffered and for many still suffering. ..rather than looking at what we've gained. More time to do things we love and with people we love.
I miss my hair...yes
I miss my breasts ...yes
I miss my old zest for life ...yes
But I get to see my boys grow into men forging their way in the world. Something I wouldn't have seen if not for treatment.
Kath x2
