How do you handle the big anniversaries?

Summer Prevails

Hey everyone

Its the first anniversary of my surgery date tomorrow; the fateful day I parted ways with what was left of my tumour, a third of my breast, and about 23 lymph nodes. 

I always try to be brave on the anniversary of a scary/sad day but it usually falls apart and is very emotional and teary anyway. 

How do you deal with those days that are a significant anniversary to you? Like the last chemo date, or your diagnosis day? How do you process the full year behind them and does it make you cry? 

xo 

Kiwi Angel

@Holly Prevails I’m still in the thick of this is something I will be thinking about this time next year. Sending u big hugs for tomorrow though. Maybe do something to treat yourself. xoxoxo

[Deleted User]

I did something fun on the anniversary and that was my focus. I found I usually forgot anniversaries. Which do you focus on? diagnosis, surgery, chemo, radio or completing treatment. I think it’s good to acknowledge it, then try to move on. It’s not easy. I had a lot of other stressful stuff going on so that helped to distract me. All the best. It gets easier with time. 

kmakm

I hadn't thought of it like that @Rose18. I'm not at the six months since diagnosis yet, but a quick mental survey says while I'll probably always remember that day, I'd chose to raise a glass on the 27th April. That's the day the last of the cancer cells were evicted and I got my new body. Can't see myself doing anything actively celebratory but you never know!

Sister

I haven't got there yet but I suspect that 5 December (diagnosis) is always going to stay with me.  However, 8 January is a much better one as that was the second surgery that got the bugger cut out.

Patti J

Every year on the anniversary of my mastectomy I have made a white coconut cake with bright pink coconut icing. I then take it to work for everyone else to eat. 

Zoffiel

I don't. I can hardly remember my birthday, and could not think of anything worse than remembering a distressing date. All my '''anniversaries" are marked in my cancer diary but I never refer to them. I'm still here, time is marked in weeks, months and eventually years as I move on.

Summer Prevails

Patti J - Good option! I could be crying over a delicious piece of lumpectomy themed cake instead of old photos, I’m SO making cake tomorrow. 

Kiwi Angel Thankyou, hugs always help

Zoffiel, I like your philosophy. It might be a case for me of being too green in the BC timeline...the dates are all still burned into my memory. Somehow even though I completely zone out and forget to go to my bloody Zoladex appointment, I remember the terror of bad days with perfect clarity 

mum2jj

I usually don’t do anything on the day, bit  like @Zoffiel.  Maybe in the first year after diagnosis. I was always a bit paranoid about celebrating, sounds weird hey. However I did have a recurrence 18mths after 1st diagnosis. What I do now is wait until my annual surgeon appointment (7 year since second diagnosis coming up). Then I wait until I see if she orders any tests etc, then if she does, I wait until I have results, and then when they are all good or if she doesn’t order any I excitedly text everyone important to me and have a quiet drink in celebration that I am alive and well another year I didn’t think I would be. 
Paula xx

kezmusc

I've had one surgery anniversary and yesterday was my 12 months finishing chemo anniversary.  My surgery date was Halloween so a bit hard to forget.  Both times I raised a glass and said "Thank F***k it's not this time last year!!!!!!!!!!!

Mighty Mouse

Hmm, anniversaries I haven't focused on too much, I suspect that has been a survival response as I was diagnosed just before my birthday and was having to tell my family and friends what was going on. There is no right way, sometimes we need to just have some time to just let the emotions be, they too will pass. It is important to honour what you feel you need for you. Far out, after all each second, minute, hour, day, week, month and year................... is an achievement and perhaps the true celebration comes with trying to live life to the best of your ability with all the ebbs and flows. You are and always will be more that the sum total of your cancer experience.  Its been 10 years for me and lets face it it is now part of what makes me, me. However, whenever I get upset by the fact that this has happened to me I remind myself that the fact that I am upset about actually proves that I have survived. Lots of hugs and high fives. You did it!!!!!!!!

adean

On the 12th july it will be 6 years for me.l just say when it comes around thank goodness its stayed away. I think for me lts always a relief once the yearly mammogram is done.creepy little cancer will always be part of me..

Mighty Mouse

Hearing you adean.

jennyss

Dear @Summer Prevails , I celebrated in a low key way after getting the (currently) all clear at surgeon's appointment following one year on mammogram and ultrasound. Didn't note diagnosis or surgery dates - Think I prefer to let those memories get fuzzy with time; and they already are! When will your one year mammogram and ultrasound come up? Hope all is going well for you. Best wishes from jennyss

Brenda5

Only anniversary I am interested in is the one when my 5 years are up of hormone therapy and I can have my mind back.

Harlee

If I remember an anniversary I celebrate it! 
If one goes by and I don't remember then I congratulate myself that my life is much more than breast cancer.
Although I wish the whole breast cancer thing hadn't happened to me - it did. 
Right after my diagnosis I saw a psychologist who told me to try to find a positive in everything that happened. I thought that was pretty crap advice at the time but I gave it a go and it actually worked for me. It was just a matter of re-framing things in my mind.

So the day I found that lump was the day I saved my life.
The day my biopsy result came back was the day I knew what I was facing.
The day I had surgery was the day I got rid of that cancer.
Chemo, radiation and now hormone therapy are just more milestones to remember how hard I worked and am still working to make sure I have the best chance possible.
Every mammogram, ultrasound, scan or test is more evidence that I'm still here and still healthy.
 
These things are all worth celebrating because to me they are good things. 
But just like @Brenda5 while I'm on Arimidex I'm lucky if I remember what day it is anyway!