So Sad
melony
Member Posts: 10
Yep I have cancer too. Great! Don't know how to use this website, I don't have time for this. I find myself sitting here. Been crying for a couple of hours now. I shouldn't be because they are so many more of you who are much worse. To put it simply, I have had the ugly bit removed and node biopsy. Wanting for the test results is doing by head in. I am so scared. I know that I am probably going to get through this. I am a very strong and positive person, but this has thrown me for a six. I'm not liking who I'm becoming. I'm an emotional wreck, I'm angry, snappy and tearful while being happy no sad and positive and not so positive. Am I going nuts?
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Comments
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Hello - you're feelings are normal even though you may not think so at this point. Normally @SoldierCrab, one of our valued contributors and moderators would give an intro - it's early so I have copied and pasted for you! Hope it helps as you get a grasp of the website and know that there's always someone not far from the forum to help out!
"It is hard when we are first diagnosed...Below are a couple of links to help you find your
way around the forum and also how to find a breast care nurse and how to order
a MY journey Kit if you haven't got one yet.It can be a a whirlwind when we first get a
diagnosed.... Breathe and take it one step at a time.The what and how thread.
http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14879/the-what-and-how-thread/p1
Breast Care Nurses
https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx
My Journey Kits and other
resources.https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/
BCNA Helpline 1800 500 258
If
you have any questions, concerns or require any further information or support
please call 1800 500 258. The Helpline is open Monday, Wednesday and
Friday from 9 am till 5 pm EST and Tuesday and Thursday from 9 am till 9 pm EST
Also I will add this link from the BCNA website
https://www.bcna.org.au/understanding-breast-cancer/types-of-breast-cancer/
Take care
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thanks
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@melony Not surprised to see a post at 5am - you'll often find someone up and on this site during the night. Getting that diagnosis is so hard and then the constant waiting to find out exactly what has hit you and what options you have to deal with it. And there are people on this forum who are at many places on the BC spectrum but we all know what it's like to suddenly have your life turned upside down by this. I felt completely well when I went along to my Breastscreen mammogram. Then life gave me an almighty kick and I've been travelling along this rollercoaster since December and a way to go yet. All I can say is to try to take one day at a time. This forum is wonderful for support, advice, information and a few laughs and the knowledge that people understand what you're going through.4
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@melony so sorry u have had to join us all here. We all go through through the terror and uncertainty when first diagnosed- I know I did. I found this forum to be great though - no such thing as a stupid question and all the women here are happy to share their own experiences. Big hugs xoxoxo2
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I too felt completely well until the dreaded mammogram call back. Doesn't that give you a sinking feeling. And it just kept on getting better. lol. Thank you. All really good advice. To take one day at a time is huge for me. I'm a control freak, A planner, a organiser., the person everyone goes to for help. Thank you again for the warm welcome. Hope that I can help someone on here.0
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@melony I am completely the same - and anal retentive, stubborn lost maker - all qualities that actually help when this happens to u. I have just found the loss of control to be the hardest and the fact that I felt my life was on hold. I have found my planning and organising to be a great help with scheduling appointment and organising your life around chemo.1
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I think you'll find that many of us on this network like to research and have all the info we can. It is good to try to get your thoughts in order for appointments so you can ask good questions. Just try to stay away from Dr Google - it's not very helpful!1
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The very word Chemo scared the hell out of me two weeks ago. Not so now but still don't want it. I've planned until Tuesday that's when results come back, then off to see oncologist. Happy Days! I think that I should go on some sort of Centrelink payment, but keep putting it off to ring them. As for Dr Google well he can go to hell, not going back there. Isnt that an uplifting experience. lol.
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I would advise not to dr google too much until u actually know what is going on - after that u can educate yourself but make sure u use reputable Australian sites.1
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Yeah good idea. Just a question for you kiwi. After your op did you experience any numbness in your neck and down your arm a bit? My surgeon said to text her with any concerns but I don't want to bother her on the weekend if this is quiet normal.
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Happy to answer this - if you've had some nodes out, it interferes with a major nerve that runs along there. You may have numbness, pins and needles or just a sensation of scrambled feedback in different parts of the area. Some or all of the feeling may come back, or there may be some permanent loss of sensation. I had my partial just before Christmas Day and that's when most of the damage seemed to happen (I didn't notice much difference when I went back to have the axillary clearance). I don't get the pins and needles sensation now but I have numbness along the back of my arm and under the armpit. Also, watch out for cording - better to get on to that sooner rather than later.1
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I had a node biopsy. Thanks so much for answering. Not so worried now.0
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Whats cording?
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@melony I had 12 lymph nodes removed an do have some numbness which is quite normal.1
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Oh it's like reading my own writing! So if it's any comfort @Melony, you're very normal! I was diagnosed in December from a routine mammogram, no pain or lumps. At first I was insanely angry, and then a few weeks later a hot wet mess. SO many tears. I had weird arm and back sensations from the wide local excision and the sentinel node biopsy. It can take a few months to settle down.
Once you have a treatment plan it gets better. Waiting for results is the absolute worst, once you know what's going on it gets better. I had chemotherapy and had a massive panic attack before the first one. It was fear of the unknown. Once it got under way I was OK and while it is in no parts fun, I got through it.
My life has been on hold for over five months now. It is depressing, but it's what we have to do to hopefully get through and get healthy. I'm having a bi-lateral mastectomy and reconstruction next Friday and am filling my days with organisation to distract myself.
Have you got good support at home? Someone to come with you to these early appointments? It's a very steep learning curve and it can be good to have another set of ears. My husband had to be away for work a lot at the beginning and so I often took a close friend. It was really useful.
The women above have given you some great advice. Hang in there. You're not alone, be kind to yourself and accept all offers of help (I find that particularly hard!). Breathe. K xox1
