Tips to help you through the festive season - seeking our online members' wisdom!
Comments
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We are on a very limited income so the idea of present-buying horrified us this year. We decided on $15 per person - give or take as required. We went out with a list of names and no preconceived ideas. We wandered 2 small stores next to each other (one a chemist and the other a gift shop) and within 2 hours we had the lot done. Each gift is different and will fit in with the receiver's life, colour scheme and preferences. We feel just being here and spending quality time with quality friends (we have no family) and of course eating quality foods of the season. Oh, and don't forget the alcohol !
Summer
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If you don't like it, don't do it. And don't apologise.
Even I am not rude enough to snarl at everyone who wishes me merry whatever, but I don't get involved. I've found that if I am vague about what I will, or will not, be doing during the festive season the majority of people are too polite or self absorbed to ask too many questions. As for the others, they can mind their own business and those who's opinion matters to me accept that I won't play. Shrieking children, tinsel, false bonhomie. Bloody carols. NO.
I buy presents for my friends and family when I see something I think they would like. Gift giving, for me, is a very random event that doesn't line up with birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries etc.
Prawns in the river with the hound. That will do, Pig. That will do.
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I like the carols. I like to sing. Joining a choir has been a post cancer joy. No-one cares that I just like the music and I politely do not critique the words publicly. I draw the line at Ho Ho Santa stuff. We should be able to manouevre this tricky period as best we can. The logic is ours. We don't have to explain it to anyone. Love the Pig reference!
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My family doesn’t do presents any longer we dropped that a while ago due to expense and we just buy for our own children but my daughter and I agreed to stop it also it’s an expense neither of us can afford at the moment. Will be a little different but I have just recently finished 6 long months of chemo and started daily radiation so am not feeling overly festive to be honest. We will have family here for a xmas lunch and everyone shares the workload so that’s about as much as I can manage this year.1
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Great words of wisdom from you all. You're all amazing. Not much is great about what we are going through. I try to look at the positives and I've found I am becoming more real. For me 'Christmas' yeah whatever.Family and food yes!! Everytime a hear the word 'journey' I cringe.
Anyway, warrior women keep it happening and enjoy the pig or whatever your traditional choice is.❤️❤️❤️1 -
Hi this will be my first Christmas since my diagnosis.I also recently lost a close cousin to cancer which stirred up more emotions .Its been difficult to get into the Christmas spirit but what I will be looking forward to is having my girls home and spending quality time with them.
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I was diagnosed on the 4th December. Wide local excision the next day, re-excision a week later. Pathology results two days later on the 14th December. Then my breast surgeon went away for a month.
The next week, highly distressed, I saw a counsellor twice. Then she went away for a month.
I saw a plastic surgeon on the 18th December. Then he went away for a month.
I met my oncologist on the 20th December. She managed to hang on until after Christmas when I saw her on 3rd January. Then she went away for three weeks. Halfway through chemo now and saw her for only the third time two days ago.
Did the EndoPredict test to see if chemo would have a curative benefit. Normally takes 2 - 3 days. As it was Christmas it took 9 days.
The Breast Care nurse was ill in her last week in the office and then on leave for three weeks. No one returned my calls.
17 months before my diagnosis my younger sister died from breast cancer. I am now raising her two traumatised children. My mother also had it at my age but survived. 10 months before my sister died, my sister-in-law died from a brain tumour. Six weeks after that my father-in-law moved in with us. So when I was diagnosed I was very very angry, then very very sad (which continues to this day), and I find myself with no emotional reserves.
Abandoned is an emotive term but that is how I felt. To be fair, my lovely breast surgeon did send a couple of supportive emails while he was on holiday, something I did not expect. However I was REELING from my diagnosis and treatment, with four children, a husband and father-in-law to look after, Christmas Dinner to plan, prepare, cook and serve to 13 people (including a stray lovelorn Finn visiting my youngest sister...), and filled with dread and literal panic about chemotherapy.
I don't know what can be done about this. I bare no ill will towards any of my clinicians. They all deserve holidays and my life is of no personal concern to them. I am not the only person to get sick at Christmas... I just wish they'd pointed me in the direction of some sort of back up service and support, to answer my questions (some as basic as wound care). If it happened now and they all disappeared, I think I'd know what to do, but in the first weeks after diagnosis, and the whirlwind of early treatment, I was all at sea and actively distressed.
Coping at/with Christmas is definitely an area that needs attention.
Chemo 3 tomorrow, wish me luck.0 -
Just reading your addition to this thread @kmakm and thinking how important it is. I was diagnosed through Breastscreen at the beginning of December. I had my first appointment with the surgeon the next day and had bookended Christmas Day with surgeries. My oncologist squeezed me in at the end of the day in late January as he wanted to make sure he saw me before he went on two weeks leave. It seems I was lucky. My cousin got the recall from Breastscreen a couple of weeks after me and had to wait until mid-January just to do the follow up diagnostic screening. She only had her MRIs last week. I agree - they have their own lives and no matter how dedicated, it is just a job (though I'm not sure my surgeon ever takes time off). However, I don't think it's right that everything just closes up shop for Christmas - we're not talking the building trade, here. There should be some sort of back up - even if it's an automatic referral for counselling in the meantime.1
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So true. You don't want a cancer diagnosis at any time and you certainly do not want to be dropped into the mincer at Christmas. I've shown this appalling lack of judgement twice now. Some people never learn. Ho ho humbug
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