Feeling lost and overwhelmed

Lefty1166

I have been living on this rollercoaster since being diagnosed with hormone receptive positive breast cancer in March 2017.I required a right mastectomy which I had only weeks after diagnosis as it was very invasive. Had 25 lymph nodes removed during surgery also.  Results came back, to hear it had spread into my liver and lung was a very big shock as I was still coming to terms with my surgery. To be told I have secondary cancer my world changed forever.On my recent scans there is signs on my bones now too. I am on tamoxifen. I wake up each morning and I feel like I am living in a dream.. 

LMK74

@Lefty1166, I'm sorry you've been hit with this diagnosis. What a dreadful shock to be told that. There is a metastatic group on this forum you may like to join where other ladies are in the same position. This disease totally sucks.
Thinking of you
Lisa x

Molly001

I can understand your feelings of being lost and overwhelmed. It's certainly news no one wants to hear. You've come to a great forum for support, though. There are ladies here living well with metastatic cancer. Have you spoken to a counsellor at all? @Marianne_BCNA may be able to put up some links and phone numbers for you.

primek

I can only imagine how hard you have found your diagnosis. Have you joined the metastic breast cancer group? There are many ladies there that will understand and be able to support you and you can talk in a closed group when and if you wish. Link to join is below.

http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/2-living-with-metastatic-breast-cancer

Also I am wondering if you are connected with a breast care nurse for support and if you have your Hopes and Hurdles resource kit. The kit gives a lot of information and free. The link to order it is below.

https://www.bcna.org.au/resource/kits/hope-hurdles/

The cancer council also offers free counselling services which you might find helpful  ph 131120. Details below.

http://www.cancer.org.au/about-cancer/patient-support/131120.html

I hope they are able to stabilise your bc soon and know there are many many more options to treatment should things alter. Kath x

Brenda5

It doesnt mean you are going to leave us, just means you are a high maintenance gal. Tamoxifen just on is own can be trial enough.  

Lefty1166

Thanks everyone yes I do have a breast clinic nurse and I have all the resources available. I do suffer from other health issues as well so it does come abit to much at times. 
One day at a time .

Zoffiel

Yep one day at a time @Lefty1166 I truly hope you have some good luck coming your way, because I believe that is at the core of this whole cancer shitfight. Luck. The fickle finger of fate ( or foot of fate if you are an old Monty Python fan) Marg xxx

socoda

Hi @Lefty1166, just wanted to send you a big warm hug. It's a shocker of a disease. When is your next appointment with your oncologist and have they proposed a new treatment regime for you? Let us know how you're getting on. Wishing you stability. Xx Cath

primek

It can get so overwhelming with other health issues to cope with. Is it worth it? ..by golly it is. Hoping you have a better day today and know we are here for you. X

wendy55

Hi @Lefty1166,so very sorry we have to "meet" under these circumstances, yes, it does come as a shock, my diagnosis was similar to yours, at first it was thought to be early breast cancer, however when staging scans were done, they found IT also in my liver and my spine plus the 3 tumours in my left breast, well, that was a game changer I can tell you, my oncologist  said it too late for surgery, so it was chemotherapy straightaway, and nearly 4 and a half years down the track I am on my 6th line of treatment - so as you say one day at a time, we are living WITH cancer not dying from it, at least thats how I like to look at it, I have 2 other significant health issues as well so to have this really pissed me off, it WAS not part of my retirement plans I can tell you, HOWEVER, it does get better,you have a lot to come to terms with and you will do it in your own way and in your own time, there are a lot of resources and support you can access, I wont go into all that now as its too much to take in, when you are ready ask questions, plenty of questions,we are all here to help you in any way we can,  I too live in the country except its south australia,so we also face other hurdles as opposed to our city friends, I do hope that you can access a McGrath Breast Care nurse if you havent already, please take advantage of everything that BCNA has to offer in terms of counselling ie they have their own oncology and breast care nurses available to help you, just pick up the phone and dial the 1800 number,YOU CAN DO THIS, slowly, and one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, each day will and night will be different, and yet somehow we manage, with love and support from those around us and sometimes from unexpected places, some people will step up and some people will step back, not because they dont love you, simply because they do not know what to say or do, 
I love Brenda5"s comment that we are" high maintenance", I suppose we are in a sense,however just for now, stop, take a breath, look around you - collect your thoughts - and it will get a little better, you will regain the sense of control that you
probably feel that you have lost,
Wendy55

Lefty1166

Thankyou ladies lovely to wake up today and read the kind words and support. 
Hope you all have a lovely day. 

primek said:

I can only imagine how hard you have found your diagnosis. Have you joined the metastic breast cancer group? There are many ladies there that will understand and be able to support you and you can talk in a closed group when and if you wish. Link to join is below.

http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/2-living-with-metastatic-breast-cancer

Also I am wondering if you are connected with a breast care nurse for support and if you have your Hopes and Hurdles resource kit. The kit gives a lot of information and free. The link to order it is below.

https://www.bcna.org.au/resource/kits/hope-hurdles/

The cancer council also offers free counselling services which you might find helpful  ph 131120. Details below.

http://www.cancer.org.au/about-cancer/patient-support/131120.html

I hope they are able to stabilise your bc soon and know there are many many more options to treatment should things alter. Kath x

primek said:

I can only imagine how hard you have found your diagnosis. Have you joined the metastic breast cancer group? There are many ladies there that will understand and be able to support you and you can talk in a closed group when and if you wish. Link to join is 

Lefty1166

Thankyou ladies for your kind words of support

Marianne_BCNA

Hi @Lefty1166, looks like you have received some fabulous support and ideas from the wonderful community here and also have your own resources in place but I just wanted to reiterate that we have nurses on our helpline who you can contact if you have any questions or concerns or just need to talk. Our number is 1800 500 258 and we are open until 9pm on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. Hope things get a little easier and less overwhelming for you soon

Lefty1166

primek said:

I can only imagine how hard you have found your diagnosis. Have you joined the metastic breast cancer group? There are many ladies there that will understand and be able to support you and you can talk in a closed group when and if you wish. Link to join is below.

http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/2-living-with-metastatic-breast-cancer

Also I am wondering if you are connected with a breast care nurse for support and if you have your Hopes and Hurdles resource kit. The kit gives a lot of information and free. The link to order it is below.

https://www.bcna.org.au/resource/kits/hope-hurdles/

The cancer council also offers free counselling services which you might find helpful  ph 131120. Details below.

http://www.cancer.org.au/about-cancer/patient-support/131120.html

I hope they are able to stabilise your bc soon and know there are many many more options to treatment should things alter. Kath x

LMK74 said:

@Lefty1166, I'm sorry you've been hit with this diagnosis. What a dreadful shock to be told that. There is a metastatic group on this forum you may like to join where other ladies are in the same position. This disease totally sucks.
Thinking of you
Lisa x

Claire Louise

Hi @Lefty1166
I was diagnosed with stage 4 a few months ago. Spread to bones in skull, shoulder, hip and ribs.
Big shock. Thrown into menopause and a very differnt life!!
Ive found reading reading the comments from all the other stage 4 ladies is SO very very helpful. Its a very overwhelming and lonely feeling being diagnosed with stage 4 but this group of women make me feel comforted and nurtured.....take care xxx