I am in shock
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Hi @Coco65, I was dx just before Xmas last year and amongst the terror I felt all my thoughts were for my only daughter 15 yrs old . I was straight out with her from day one when the report confirmed cancer the now memories of the tears the flood her face brings tears to me now . I wanted to protect her from this and had no control over it . Fast forward five months I currently have radiation burns been through a mastectomy, then axillary clearance artificial menopause and my daughter couldn't be more happy stable strong and proud of her mummy . She said"mum your not strong , it's what everyone would have to do , but you are an inspiration to everyone' she is my strength. A few weeks back Mother's Day classic she drove me to participate in the walk , I was mid way radiation. You and your family will get through this ❤️4
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No probs - it takes a bit of getting used to...then comes naturally (sorta like this whole 'new normal' we are all existing in!!!)
You go @Dandelion - I'm running the 4kms next year
Nxxx4 -
Aww thanks Nikki , tbh I did the *walk for my daughter but glad I had the push from her as I felt amazing emotionally, physically I felt like vomiting lol2
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Whoops the remainer of my post0
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Yes, I can relate to the vomiting @Dandelion
Who knows how I will go, but several of my mates are pretty keen joggers and so I think they're going to take me under their wings (might need to drag me along!!!!!). Could be fun...maybe
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See, there you go @Coco65 - once you're further into the journey and you have a clearer idea of your treatment plan, you start to feel more in control.....and can start planning things again...just like @Dandelion did for the Mother's Day Classic. 2
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@Coco65 Welcome! So sorry you are here, but you've got a wonderful supportive network here, so be assured of that. There is so much knowledge and experience and empathy all in the one place, as loved ones are great but they don't understand the complexity of all of it!
Like you, I never had a lump it was detected in a Mammogram back in 2011 it, biopsies, then lumpectomy it was early only DCIS but had radiation and Tamoxifen for 4yrs. Unfortunately a recurrence in 2015 Stage 3 Grade 2 aggressive same spot, biopsies, lumpectomies..no radiation as cant have it twice so had chemo. In feb opted for a mastectomy/diep flap recon like @nikkid and haven't looked back. Am 2yrs clear and enjoying my new reconstruction with 1 more surgery to go.
What I want to say to you is, it is gutwrenching and overwhelming, I was 6 months out of my marriage with 2 children my first diagnosis. It was so hard on them and even harder the 2nd time. Thing is, I don't know why they do a biopsy, they just don't give you correct pathology and always end up having a lumpectomy, this is the only way you will have correct and definitive pathology and then a plan. They can't speculate at this point and definitely not with a biopsy. So as hard as it is, pull yourself back right now, one thing at a time. My first biopsy they missed it!!!!! useless! in fact the many more were useless too. Hindsight years later are a wonderful thing.
So hang in there and keep communicating with your Specialist this is the hard part not knowing what is what yet, but remember it is very early, so odds are you may not even need radiation, try not to rush ahead, sometimes I think they say too much.
Hugs Melinda xo2 -
Thank you @melclarity I am so overwhelmed at the moment and when I woke up this morning I was determined that today was going to be a no tears day!
So I have thrown myself into my housework ( which I have done none of over the last couple of days ) to try and bring some normality back to the kids.
When I went to book my biopsy in they told me it could be a week and a half before I can have it done and the surgeon wants to put a clip in when they do the biopsy to show him where it is I guess???
A week and a half don't they think it is too long???
I sent my surgeon an email this morning with lots of questions so hopefully I will hear back from him soon.
That is my biggest fear fighting it a second time, bloody thing!!
Hugs Jo0 -
@Coco65 Great throwing yourself into the housework, honestly keeping busy is the best thing to do right now. The worst part honestly is fear of the unknown, no direction and thats the worst part as once you have results you'll be surprised how you will settle. Knowing is half the battle than the unknown isnt it?
Ok, so putting a clip in at biopsy? normally they put a clip in prior to the lumpectomy so they know where it is to take it out. The clip does show them where it is yes, but the biopsies are so hit and miss and results never come back accurate thats why they rely on lumpectomy as pathology from that is the only way they know. 1.5 weeks isn't too long, I know it seems urgent, but as its early, honestly it wont make any difference at all.
Great idea emailing your Surgeon, ask away...EVERYTHING!!! knowledge is power and you will relax a little believe me.
Ohhh Jo, don't think about that, its normal to think it could happen again, no 2 people are the same or their treatments, I would never have thought Id have it again, but I never sat around worrying over something I just couldnt control. It doesnt discriminate fit, unfit, healthy, unhealthy, race, religion or age. There are zero common denominators no evidence apart from minority studies. So just do what feels good for you, thats the only point.
I know right now it feels so out of control and the panic is awful and trying to keep it together for your kids. So step back and baby steps, you will be absolutely fine! x Melinda0 -
@Coco65 when I was diagnosed my first question to the surgeon was 'can I have 10 weeks before we operate'? There were lots of things I had to do (I have my own business) and commitments I had in place. Because it was early and the biopsy indicated it was slow growing, the surgeon agreed - and I was put on Tamoxifen in the meantime. This gave me 'mind space', time to research (I got a second opinion just for peace of mind) and the ability to get myself back in control. The surgeon actually said to me during one visit "I get it Nikki, YOU have to get in control of this cancer." So I had time. Of course, if the surgeon had said 'no" because it was aggressive or dangerous to wait, I would've done what I was told.
I'm just telling you this because there isn't always a need to rush in. Everyone is different, everyone's cancer is different - but in my case, I needed the time and don't regret it at all.
So 1.5 weeks may not be a problem for you seeing as it's so early xxxxx0 -
@melclarity
Thank you! You really have helped me today0
