My brain is mush.
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Life won't ever be the same again @Me2 and no amount of motivational memes and happy clappy statements will change that. It's so hard when you get rocketted into the really tough stuff so quickly with no time to prepare--its just awful to feel cornered. No one chooses this path.
It's been a month for you now, and you've come a long way. Another couple of weeks and the surgery will be over. I don't think we ever stop worrying, but the focus changes. Sometimes the really big things are easier to deal with than stupid little details, our brains are remarkable things.
Keep going, it won't be all bad news (though it may feel like if sometimes) Your turn to help will come. You are already doing that. Someone out there will be reading your posts thinking 'Its not just me. Maybe I'm not losing the plot after all.' xx2 -
Good luck for Monday. Things move rapidly but yes, best gone, because you really don't need those cunning little cancer cells. Life will be quite a bit different for a short while, but then you may find that life post treatment can be very good indeed. Best wishes.
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Hey @Me2 - I just want to wish you all the best over the coming weeks. As you can see everyone can totally identify with your feelings and you have so many warrior women in your corner. I have lost count of the number of times I have said 'it is what it is ' and 'one step at a time ', but both are so true. Beaming positive energy your way.
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Hi Me2, I was diagnosed mid January and that period of time waiting to see the surgeon then after surgery waiting for pathology results were the worst. Once that was all done and I knew what I was in for, chemo followed by radiation then hormone blockers, I started to feel better as now even though the chemo really knocks me around there is a plan in place and I'm doing something not just waiting and worrying.
I took a friend to my appointments with the surgeon and oncologists which I would recommend as there is so much to take in and it can be quite over-whelming.
My anaesthetist gave me some advice which I thought was great. He said, "people will tell you to be positive, but you don't have to be all the time, if you want to cry, cry, if you want to swear or yell, or feel sorry for yourself do so as that is all part of the process and you need to let those emotions out rather than try to contain them as it won't do you or those you care about any good". As someone who has previously suffered from depression I thought this was great advice as putting on a brave face all the time and pretending you are okay when you are not can cause a lot of damage.
Lean on family and friends that love you, use this forum and your health care team for support and take care of you.
All of my family live far away, all but one son live overseas, and having moved to country NSW only 18 months ago most of my friends do as well and yet I feel that having BC is making the bond between us all stronger.
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Hi CateH, thank you so much for your kind, sensible words. Seems like you are just a few steps in front of me. Ive made my appointments for CT scan, Bone Scan and BC Nurse for tomorrow in Bega, which is about one hour away from my home. I'm in Eden. We definitely have a few common threads. I'm originally from Sydney but moved down the south coast. All my family are still up in Sydney. My sister is having her bowel cancer surgery as I'm typing this., up in Sydney so we are all playing phone tag. I'm glad I have today at home before my tests role on to grasp everything that's happening with my Sister. I was told by the Surgeon last night that my breast mass is "particularly nasty", which scared the hell out of me and that mastectomy was the only way. then at least 4 to 6 months of chemo . All my fears flooded over me at once. I've had the day to do some reading and collect my thoughts and catch up with friends and family so I'm a little calmer now. Tomorrow the drama begins. I'm so grateful to have this forum to bounce off. Again many thanks
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Good they are pushing those tests through before the surgery. It's called 'staging' and once they have the full pathology report back after the surgery they will all get their heads together and plan a treatment and time line thereafter. Make sure you ask for pain meds (proper ones, not just Panadol) before you go home from hospital. I had just Panadol after my first op, mastectomy and one node removed and it was flipping painful once I got home and the hospital meds wore off. My sis in law once said of the hospital system if you don't ask you won't get so after my second op, to remove all the rest of the lymph nodes since the first nodes pathology was positive I made sure I asked for pain meds to take home. Sooooo much easier.
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It's terrible but there are some positives:
You are in good hands, we have a great medical system,
breast cancer has a much better survival rate than many other cancers,
there is support in the community like this site,
in time the treatment ends.
bets wishes, Karen0
