Starting the journey - Waiting

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13

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  • TonyaM
    TonyaM Member Posts: 2,836
    edited March 2015
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    Glad to hear you are back from the dark side.Keep up the pain killers,don't wait till you are in agony.Once the drains are out you'll go ahead in leaps and bounds.I think it's kinda normal to feel detached.It's like your body is telling you to stay strong for the battle and then when it's over you can relax and fall in a heap.Takes awhile to adjust to a missing boob, psychologically but at the moment you are just trying to get past surgery.I'm not so sure if this site is a rescue ship - more like a life raft that we are all clinging to!Best wishes for a qick recovery.

                                            Tonya xx

  • w_w_w_dette
    w_w_w_dette Member Posts: 156
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Louise

    Great news that you have finished that first major step and are home after surgery - wasn't that a great feeling as you walked in the door and then felt the comfort of your own bed?

    Another great feeling will be when you lose those constant companions - the drains! Getting about and more comfortable are certainly much easier without them! I actually left mine in the hospital which meant an even more special home-coming, although was a bit longer stay!

    My arm nearly went out in sympathy again when I read about your red hot poker feeling and it did bring a lump back to the throat. I think I have already mentionned but I really battled with the razor blade feeling for about 5 days with parts much worse than others. Some things that worked for me were persevering with the stretching exercises, massaging the arm (back up toward your armpit) even though initially each time it wasn't comfortable and keeping up with the pain medication, not waiting to see if I needed it.

    Although maybe a little styfling, take all the help and support you can as that will really help in recovery and preparation for the next step.

    Thinking of you heaps.

    Take special care of yourself, Dette xxx 

  • w_w_w_dette
    w_w_w_dette Member Posts: 156
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Louise

    Great news that you have finished that first major step and are home after surgery - wasn't that a great feeling as you walked in the door and then felt the comfort of your own bed?

    Another great feeling will be when you lose those constant companions - the drains! Getting about and more comfortable are certainly much easier without them! I actually left mine in the hospital which meant an even more special home-coming, although was a bit longer stay!

    My arm nearly went out in sympathy again when I read about your red hot poker feeling and it did bring a lump back to the throat. I think I have already mentionned but I really battled with the razor blade feeling for about 5 days with parts much worse than others. Some things that worked for me were persevering with the stretching exercises, massaging the arm (back up toward your armpit) even though initially each time it wasn't comfortable and keeping up with the pain medication, not waiting to see if I needed it.

    Although maybe a little styfling, take all the help and support you can as that will really help in recovery and preparation for the next step.

    Thinking of you heaps.

    Take special care of yourself, Dette xxx 

  • tabbycat
    tabbycat Member Posts: 33
    edited March 2015
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    Hi all you wonderful, wonderful ladies, yes it is wonderful to be in my own bed, really the only time I get to be "on my own" as family is always fussing, but as you say, I am trying to accept it gracefully because i know it is given with love.

    I am persavering with the exercises for my arm, those little hot poker just keep me on edge...and as for carting around "arthur and martha" (my name for these hideous bottles) I am seriously sick of them....lol...getting rid of them will be joy oh joy!!!!

    I'm going to disperse all my lovely flowers around the house today, the lounge looks a bit like a funeral parlour!!!!.....deciding where to put each vase so's not to offend anyone....least of my worrries really. Wish I had more time to write to each of you individually, but at the moment I'm being so fussed over, even being on the computer seems to my darling sister to be "doing to much"....love and big hugs to you all.

    xLouisex

  • tabbycat
    tabbycat Member Posts: 33
    edited March 2015
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    Hi all you wonderful, wonderful ladies, yes it is wonderful to be in my own bed, really the only time I get to be "on my own" as family is always fussing, but as you say, I am trying to accept it gracefully because i know it is given with love.

    I am persavering with the exercises for my arm, those little hot poker just keep me on edge...and as for carting around "arthur and martha" (my name for these hideous bottles) I am seriously sick of them....lol...getting rid of them will be joy oh joy!!!!

    I'm going to disperse all my lovely flowers around the house today, the lounge looks a bit like a funeral parlour!!!!.....deciding where to put each vase so's not to offend anyone....least of my worrries really. Wish I had more time to write to each of you individually, but at the moment I'm being so fussed over, even being on the computer seems to my darling sister to be "doing to much"....love and big hugs to you all.

    xLouisex

  • hippyviv
    hippyviv Member Posts: 64
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Louise. I remember that red hot poker so well!! It reduced me to tears at times. I would be doubled over at times with it. The exersises helped and the pain relief was a help but it gave me nausea which isnt much better.  I cant suggest anything that the ladies on here havnt already. I can offer my support and understanding tho. I too surprised myself with how well I was coping and feared, like you, that it would all come crashing down. I guess we harness our recources to do what has to get done and then when we least expect it our bodies let go and we have a cry and our emotiions play havoc with us. That is where I am at at present. I hope this is not the case for you but if it happens dont worry just go with it and know you are not alone in how you are feeling and that it is perfectly ok. I am sorry you have to have chemo but you will get a mountain of support and advice on here. All this will pass and you will be on here giving advice to others years down the track having recovered and moved on. Keep this in mind Louise. It will end. And it will end well for you. I am wishing you all the best and my good thoughts and happy vibes are out there for you. Take care and allow yourself to not be strong at times its ok. Much love Viv XX

  • tabbycat
    tabbycat Member Posts: 33
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Viv

    thanks for your words of encouragement. You have been through so much by the sounds of things!  I am feeling much brighter today, when I read what I'd written yesterday, I was a little annoyed with myself for sounding so miserable, but I guess that's what this site is for. venting our frustrations from time to time...

    The home care nurse came today and I had one of the drains removed and already I feel better just carting "martha" around - or is it arthur?? I think the one that is gone now must have been the one that always felt like it was "pulling" on my skin. The other comes out of Saturday all being well, which it will of course.

    I have had a good old cry by myself last night....did the real self pitying bit, paced my bedroom cursing all and sundry and then worked myself up so much couldn't sleep. Today, I can laugh at myself...silly old cow that I am...lol...tee hee.

    Viv, I am really looking forward to the day I can be the one offering support and advice to other "newcomers" of course I'd rather there were no newcomers, but that's just a pipe dream.

    Many hugs to you xLouisex

  • louiseg
    louiseg Member Posts: 412
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Louise

    Good to hear that you have lost one of the drains now....it feels so much better when they are gone!  You can almost feel human again :)  Hopefully you will get rid of the other one on Saturday as planned.

    I can relate to having a good old cry and then laughing at myself...I think we all do that at times, the "why me" and all that sort of thing. It's good to get your emotions out though rather than bottling them up inside.  It makes you feel better afterwards.

    I hope you are having a good day today :)  Stay positive and come on here anytime you need to vent (and to keep us up to date, of course!).

    Hugs,

    Louise x

  • louiseg
    louiseg Member Posts: 412
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Louise

    Good to hear that you have lost one of the drains now....it feels so much better when they are gone!  You can almost feel human again :)  Hopefully you will get rid of the other one on Saturday as planned.

    I can relate to having a good old cry and then laughing at myself...I think we all do that at times, the "why me" and all that sort of thing. It's good to get your emotions out though rather than bottling them up inside.  It makes you feel better afterwards.

    I hope you are having a good day today :)  Stay positive and come on here anytime you need to vent (and to keep us up to date, of course!).

    Hugs,

    Louise x

  • tabbycat
    tabbycat Member Posts: 33
    edited March 2015
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    I saw my Surgeon yesterday to get the details of my follow up treatment. Here I was hoping like crazy that a short dose of Chemo would do the trick!

    No such luck. I am to have Chemo, Radiotherapy and HBT. Whew, not what I wanted hear guys...now I must wait until the 26th to meet with my Medical Oncologist. aaahhhhhhh.....that's nearly 2 weeks of waiting. Wow, I sure am learning patience...I have been reading up on all treatments so am fairly prepared for the Chemo, but must say, I'm really, really not looking forward to it!

    Have any of you ladies been trying things like Yoga or Meditation etc to help relax? Would also like to hear about any extra Vitamins etc that can be of use? Thanks all xLouisex

  • w_w_w_dette
    w_w_w_dette Member Posts: 156
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Louise

    Oops sorry to hear you're in for more treatment than hoped. I'm on the same track with radiotherapy and HBT after chemo and when found that out took on the motto "We are playing for sheep stations and this way you lose CA!"

    I really empathise with you as you wait to see the oncologist and then the plan is put in place when you tend to feel "well if it's going to happen, let's go NOW"! Although having tried and enjoyed yoga (in a limited way) previously, as far as preparing for chemo I fell back to my constant form over the last few years - walking. I find it very good to unwind and de-stress as well as giving me the added positive of building my fitness to fight. I have walked almost every day since surgery and so far every day since starting chemo. The distance has decreased this last week since chemo but am looking forward to building up again this week coming. So apart from glucosomine for my joints at the moment my vitamin pill is fresh air.

    Hope this at least gives you another perpective or at least something to think about. Will be thinking of you as you wait - take heaps of care of yourself.

    Dette xxxx

  • w_w_w_dette
    w_w_w_dette Member Posts: 156
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Louise

    Oops sorry to hear you're in for more treatment than hoped. I'm on the same track with radiotherapy and HBT after chemo and when found that out took on the motto "We are playing for sheep stations and this way you lose CA!"

    I really empathise with you as you wait to see the oncologist and then the plan is put in place when you tend to feel "well if it's going to happen, let's go NOW"! Although having tried and enjoyed yoga (in a limited way) previously, as far as preparing for chemo I fell back to my constant form over the last few years - walking. I find it very good to unwind and de-stress as well as giving me the added positive of building my fitness to fight. I have walked almost every day since surgery and so far every day since starting chemo. The distance has decreased this last week since chemo but am looking forward to building up again this week coming. So apart from glucosomine for my joints at the moment my vitamin pill is fresh air.

    Hope this at least gives you another perpective or at least something to think about. Will be thinking of you as you wait - take heaps of care of yourself.

    Dette xxxx

  • tabbycat
    tabbycat Member Posts: 33
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Dette

    You are always such an inspiration to me!! I have never been a great one for walking but will definately give it a go. The last few days it's been bucketing with rain and also very cold but this sounds like an excuse to me....tee hee...

    Sorry to hear you are also in for Radiotherapy and HBT - sounds like we are on the same train...only you are a few stations (sheep??) ahead of me.

    Take care of yourself and keep us informed as you progress through your chemo. Big hugs xLouisex

  • pisces_tas
    pisces_tas Member Posts: 474
    edited March 2015
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    no comment at this time. 

  • tabbycat
    tabbycat Member Posts: 33
    edited March 2015
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    Well, finally had my first chemo yesterday. What a day Appntmt with Ocologist at 1pm - got to see him at 1.45 ho hum do these guys ever run on time!

    By the time he'd explained it all, written the scripts and sent me to the Pharmacy it was getting on for 2.15pm then onwards to the ward where as a Newbie I was made wonderfully welcome. Ha, who want to be welcomed here but so nice of them all, and the other ladies were just as welcoming.

    Can't say I enjoyed the procedure as the entry point hurt like crazy for the duration but I guess it wasn't as bad as I had expected. So far so good no really nasty side effects, felt light headed and aching in joints and have woken with mega headache, but no nausea so I am thrilled with that!

    Have to watch what I swallow as my blood work showed some abnormal liver function. Oh dear something else to think about...boo hoo I sound a real bag of misery, bu;t I'm not I'm upbeat and still positive of the outcomes of all this.

    Ladies, they told me yesterday that by the 2nd chemo they expect to see me with little of no hair - does it really go that quickly? If so, yikes I'd better get some head covering organised! Has anyone else lost hair within a couple of weeks?

    Love and hugs to all you lovely ladies xLouisex