Feeling sad

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Comments

  • VivW
    VivW Member Posts: 266
    edited March 2015

    Thank you Daina, I would like this printed on a T-Shirt, with the quote my daughter likes printed on the back.

    Cheers

    Merry Christmas

    Viv

  • nicole h
    nicole h Member Posts: 120 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Wow what a subject. You can tell by the response Deanne that you're not alone. I have a similar experience and am glad to know im not the only one. Bc is a true test of sibling's devotion. It's so disappointing to discover that they are not as devoted as you thought. You taught us not to worry about these people but to concentrate on the good in your life only and stick with those who stick with you. Love Nicole x ?
  • jenpen
    jenpen Member Posts: 315 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Just catching up on reading posts Deanne......sigh! Seems a common thread among us hey? But....thank goodness again for this forum of understanding & supportive "sisters" ..... And as Robyn said, I guess we need to concentrate on those who do care & love us....wishing you best wishes for Xmas & hope you get through relatively unscathed by negativity via your brother & his family....and special wishes for a fab 2015. 

    Thanks for your wonderful support & reassuring comments for all of us on here!

    Jen x

  • Deanne
    Deanne Member Posts: 2,163 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Not just smiling but laughing out loud!

    I think I just needed to let out the hurt, so I could move on and I now feel I have a plan in place to make sure Christmas is enjoyable for all the family! Trying to keep things in and pretend that everything was just like it used to be was just making it worse.

    I've readjusted my thinking and tonight will start celebrating with a Bbq with my sister and her family. Looking forward to my daughter coming home on Christmas Eve. AND my wonderful parents are getting all of us together for a trip back to our childhood (embarrassing photos of us on our many family 'holidays' when we spent weeks travelling around Australia). Should make for some healing laughs!

    Hope your Christmas is special too! Wishing you a terrific 2015 filled with good health and happiness. Love, Deanne xoxo

  • susieFA
    susieFA Member Posts: 66
    edited March 2015

    It took me years to understand why my brother didn't support me through my breast cancer and treatments.  He simply couldn't cope, having lost our mother to the same disease.  While I put my head down and got on with it, he simply couldn't  handle my illness and pain.  His wife was the most wonderful support through my chemo although I went through radio completely alone.  Reaching out to my brother became too painful but through this, a lesson has been learned.  He is still my brother and I have to allow him to feel the way he does and to act the way he does, even when it hurts me.  He is not a bad man but he is not infallible.  Forgive your brother - these men are often weaker than we want them to be and that's okay.  xxx

  • Deanne
    Deanne Member Posts: 2,163 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Thanks Jen. It is such a help to be able to share our feelings (sometimes positive, sometimes not so) with others who understand from a similar perspective. No one, including us, really knows what to do when confronted with BC. I guess given a choice we would all like to just pretend it isn't happening. I know my brother is not one to show emotion so I guess he just never knew what to say or do and then maybe felt awkward and this made things worse. I do know that I now feel ok about it and can hopefully move forward and enjoy Christmas.

    Hope you have a terrific Christmas with your family and that 2015 is a happy and healthy one for you all. Deanne xxx
  • Hazel M
    Hazel M Member Posts: 708 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hi Deanne, just catching up on some posts and I saw you had been feeling sad. I hope Xmas day goes well for you, it's a shame your brother has responded the way he has. He sounds like he has underlying issues with something or other, no excuse though in not supporting his sister through everything you have been through. I have no parents and my sisters and brothers were supportive of me. I do have one sister who blurts out insensitive things at times, asking me if I was enjoying my time off from work when I was on chemo. I told her I would rather be on some tropical island holidaying instead of being so sick! We can spend a lot of our time trying to figure out why people are the way they are, perhaps we'll never know. Enjoy your christmas (I know you will) with your loved ones, it's just good to be around hey?:) All the best, 

    Hazel xx

  • Hazel M
    Hazel M Member Posts: 708 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hi Deanne, just catching up on some posts and I saw you had been feeling sad. I hope Xmas day goes well for you, it's a shame your brother has responded the way he has. He sounds like he has underlying issues with something or other, no excuse though in not supporting his sister through everything you have been through. I have no parents and my sisters and brothers were supportive of me. I do have one sister who blurts out insensitive things at times, asking me if I was enjoying my time off from work when I was on chemo. I told her I would rather be on some tropical island holidaying instead of being so sick! We can spend a lot of our time trying to figure out why people are the way they are, perhaps we'll never know. Enjoy your christmas (I know you will) with your loved ones, it's just good to be around hey?:) All the best, 

    Hazel xx

  • Hazel M
    Hazel M Member Posts: 708 ✭
    edited March 2015

    Hi Deanne, just catching up on some posts and I saw you had been feeling sad. I hope Xmas day goes well for you, it's a shame your brother has responded the way he has. He sounds like he has underlying issues with something or other, no excuse though in not supporting his sister through everything you have been through. I have no parents and my sisters and brothers were supportive of me. I do have one sister who blurts out insensitive things at times, asking me if I was enjoying my time off from work when I was on chemo. I told her I would rather be on some tropical island holidaying instead of being so sick! We can spend a lot of our time trying to figure out why people are the way they are, perhaps we'll never know. Enjoy your christmas (I know you will) with your loved ones, it's just good to be around hey?:) All the best, 

    Hazel xx

  • Deanne
    Deanne Member Posts: 2,163 ✭
    edited March 2015
    You are right, I will enjoy Christmas. It started last night with a relaxing barbecue with my sister and her family. I now feel very calm and relaxed about tomorrow. Hope your day is special too. Feeling well is a definite bonus for many of us this year! :) Deanne xxx
  • Deanne
    Deanne Member Posts: 2,163 ✭
    edited March 2015
    You are so right, none of us are infallible. I have found it so helpful to realise that this is just something my brother was not experienced with and that he simply does not understand that his support could have made a difference. We all feel a bit helpless against this disease and even we have different ways of handling it. What I would have found helpful someone else might not. Everyone's helpful and supportive comments have helped me to see this. :) Deanne xxx
  • Deanne
    Deanne Member Posts: 2,163 ✭
    edited March 2015
    Hope that your Christmas has some good moments. Next year this will all be behind you. Hope that you are feeling ok. Take care. Deanne xxx

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