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Helping make decisions
Hi, my Mum is 78 and was diagnosed with hormone positive breast cancer in 2023, she has had her surgery and radiotherpay and is now on her hormone blockers. She now needs to make a decision about taking zometa, weighing up side effects with quality of life in your later years. She wants me to help her make a decision she is really struggling with, anyone have any tips on making decisions when your elderly and for loved ones they rely on to assist them.
Please help me help my wife.
My wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in January and is BRCA1 so a double mastectomy is more than likely happening soon. I'm getting better at just letting her vent and holding her sometimes instead of wanting to fix everything. I don't know how to help her with her own mental state with the impending surgery on top of the already completed hysterectomy. She said the other night, and excuse me for being blunt, "Would you still feel like a man if you had your d*** and b**** cut off?". Now I don't care what she looks like, surgery could remove anything and I would still love her and be lost without her, but I'm at a loss as to how to help or what to do when she gets sad about the last of her "woman parts" being removed. Of course having bits taken off is better then some of the less desirable outcomes, but how can I help her deal with her feelings moving forward? Have you been there? If so got any tips?
With or without a plastic surgeon? How common is a mastectomy and reconstruction without p.surgeon
Hi everyone, my family member’s breast cancer doctor said she can perform her mastectomy and reconstruction without the help of a plastic surgeon. This makes my family member nervous. As she was told by friends theirs was done in tandem with a plastic surgeon. Whilst she is happy to have the cancer removed, the mastectomy is the finish line hopefully at the end of the chemo. She will be able to keep her nipples and needs a reduction and removal of skin as has lost weight and only wants the smallest of implants/expanders put in. Her surgeon said she does this all of the time by herself. My question is how common is this? She feels she may want a second opinion.
Is anyone on a home care package & NOT in the Carer's Group? MORE Changes being made ....
I have posted this link into the Carer's Group but think that not all who are on a Home Care Package are in the group .... so posting it here as well. This is for members who actively CARE for friends or relatives, too. It seems they are making MORE changes (after big changes were made last June as well) that you should be aware of ..... from the web .... Do you want to stay updated on the reforms to in-home aged care? Join the webinar for older people, their families and carers, and the aged care sector. Thursday 18 May 2023 2:00pm to 4:00pm AEST You will have the opportunity to submit questions during the webinar. This webinar will have Auslan interpreters. You can register to be a part of the webinar HERE: https://www.agedcareengagement.health.gov.au/engagement/reforming-in-home-aged-care-update/ If you are on facebook - feel free to read all the comments already made ..... it may arm you with more information to discuss on the webinar if you want to put a question to them .... Facebook 'Name'/link - it might be worth 'following' them .... https://www.facebook.com/healthgovau Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care Also - Learn more about a new model for regulating aged care and the changes we’re proposing to improve transparency and accountability in the system. We invite you to share your feedback as part of our consultation on ‘A new model for regulating Aged Care, Consultation Paper No.2: Details of the proposed new model’ open till 23 June 2023. Get involved in building a better aged care system. Visit the Aged Care Engagement Hub to read the consultation paper and register for our 9 May webinar You can leave feedback HERE: https://www.agedcareengagement.health.gov.au/regulatorymodel/
First time lump: from a concerned husband's POV
Hi all I'm not really sure if this is the place to be asking this, but I've tried looking and reading online to get info, but it all seems fairly general, a little all over the place, and mostly american-based, which I don't find all that helpful, given the difference in standards / practises between our two countries. Anyway, a quick snapshot of the situation before I ask my question/s. My wife is 30 years old, and from a very conservative culture. Basically, unlike many girls her age, you'll never see her wearing clothing that shows more skin than it covers! We're relatively recently married (2 years), both each other's first loves, etc, so neither of us have had any reason (need or want!) to expose certain parts of either of our bodies to anyone other than each other. *Note: this point will be relevent shortly.* Pretty much until now. About a week-and-a-half ago, I discovered a small, hard lump in my wife's breast. (Y'know, because I'm a good husband and all that! :P). With Christmas happening last week, we only got around to seeing a doctor the other day who has given her a referral to get an ultrasound next week. That's great, but we don't really know what to expect from the whole thing. Again, online articles provide conflicting and varied answers, so I'm hoping I might find some answers in here. I should state that I'm not jumping any guns and thinking / presuming what she has is cancer. Far from it, actually. I'm 99% sure it's nothing of any concern, but right now we just don't know. What actually will happen at this appointment? When they see the lump, will they know what it is, or will there be other x-rays, ect, to determine that? I really want to be in there for everything with her, as if the roles were reversed, I'd really want my wife there with me. No-one other than her has seen my 'bits', so I'm putting myself in her shoes at the moment and I know my being there to hold her hand in support would make her feel a lot more at ease. I know that she's really nervous about the idea of someone else seeing and, even moreso, FEELING her breasts, so I've taken the day off work to be there for her. I spoke to the imaging place the other day and they said I MIGHT be allowed in to the ultrasound room with her, but there were no guarantees. I would like to think all places would allow someone to join the patient, as I'm sure it's not just a scary thing to just my wife and I! Anyway, any personal accounts or recounting of similar situations would very much appreciated. Thankyou in advance!Where to find support?
Hi I was recently diagnosed with grade 3 comedo necrosis DCIS 11mm in my Rt breast. I had a failed lumpectomy on the 2nd August (the hook wire went into my muscle), and I'm going for a re-do this Friday. My problem is that I have no support person to attend appointments with me or help me out in general while recovering. I live alone, have no family nearby, and my friends are work colleagues who have their own lives. I have never needed assistance for anything, and I'm very independant. This diagnosis has me feeling very isolated! Where do people find their support?
Support for carers in Melbourne
Hi all, My wife has been diagnosed 21 days ago with an aggressive TNBC and is already a week into chemo. The whole thing is a whirlwind and I am really struggling even though I am grateful for the support we have around us. We have small kids and even though I was already the primary care giver in the family (I've always supported my wife in her career) for then I am finding it tough. I just wish I had another carer I could talk to face to face about it. Is there anywhere husbands of BC warriors can just chat? Not sure anything like that exists in Melbourne or even Australia. There are some amazing organizations in the USA, but seems limited in this country. Thanks for reading and wishing all you ladies the best
Finding ways to support my Indonesian fiancé - I’m a fast learner.
Hello everyone, I’m looking for some guidance and help. I’m still learning the terms. My fiancé and I met earlier this year online. We were planning on an engagement and first time to meet in person mid-May in Indonesia where she lives. I am in Australia, a citizen by birth. we’re both in our mid-30s. Three days ago we were diagnosed with breast cancer, after urging her to get a mammogram for ongoing breast pain and a reduction in size in one breast. The doctor didn’t perform a biopsy to send a sample of her lump to pathology, they just told her she has it. Her church community have told her to fly to Singapore to get an accurate diagnosis and treatment. I don’t know where to start; I’ve been following the literature from BCNA on taking it one day at a time, not to use ‘Dr. Google’,and to let her take the lead in the kind of help she wants from me, but also to educate her on medical truths that are simply not taught to people there. I wish I could fly her to Australia to receive the help we have access to here, perhaps I can but I don’t know where to start looking. Can anyone relate?Young People Caring for Sick Family Members
I was recently at a Variety Ladies Luncheon and was taken back by a young woman, Madeline Buchner OAM, founder of Little Dreamers. Little Dreamers came out of her life experience which is amazing and inspiring. At 9 years of age Madeline identified a gap in the support system for young people who cared for sick family members. She grew up alongside her brother who suffered multiple chronic illnesses, and her mother, now a breast cancer survivor. Personally I empathise with Madeline as I too was a young carer when I lost my mother at the age of 7. How wonderful it would have been to have a support resource back in the 60's Today Little Dreamers is a leading young carer organsation supprting young people who provide unpaid care for family member affected by disability, chronic or mental illness, addiction or frail age. If this strikes a cord with you, check out Little Dreamers.org.au. Happy Easter Karen Survivor 16 years
Supporting a loved one with post-cancer depression
Hi there, I'm looking for some guidance as to supporting a loved one who has developed symptoms of depression after surviving breast cancer. She has actually experienced breast cancer twice, as well as losing a close friend to metastatic breast cancer, all before the age of 50. Since completing chemotherapy the last time, she has really struggled. She's lost all self-confidence, lives in fear of it returning, and feels isolated and angry. When she's feeling really low, she asks "why me?" and feels as though she's being punished for something. I just wish she could be happy, but don't know what to do. I can't say anything that helps because I haven't lived in her shoes. Anytime we mention support groups, therapy or medication to help with her struggles, she becomes very defensive and feels even more isolated. I just don't know what to do. Perhaps if there was anyone who has shared a similar experience would have some insight? If so, I'd really appreciate it.