Helping make decisions
Hi, my Mum is 78 and was diagnosed with hormone positive breast cancer in 2023, she has had her surgery and radiotherpay and is now on her hormone blockers. She now needs to make a decision about taking zometa, weighing up side effects with quality of life in your later years. She wants me to help her make a decision she is really struggling with, anyone have any tips on making decisions when your elderly and for loved ones they rely on to assist them.
First time lump: from a concerned husband's POV
Hi all I'm not really sure if this is the place to be asking this, but I've tried looking and reading online to get info, but it all seems fairly general, a little all over the place, and mostly american-based, which I don't find all that helpful, given the difference in standards / practises between our two countries. Anyway, a quick snapshot of the situation before I ask my question/s. My wife is 30 years old, and from a very conservative culture. Basically, unlike many girls her age, you'll never see her wearing clothing that shows more skin than it covers! We're relatively recently married (2 years), both each other's first loves, etc, so neither of us have had any reason (need or want!) to expose certain parts of either of our bodies to anyone other than each other. *Note: this point will be relevent shortly.* Pretty much until now. About a week-and-a-half ago, I discovered a small, hard lump in my wife's breast. (Y'know, because I'm a good husband and all that! :P). With Christmas happening last week, we only got around to seeing a doctor the other day who has given her a referral to get an ultrasound next week. That's great, but we don't really know what to expect from the whole thing. Again, online articles provide conflicting and varied answers, so I'm hoping I might find some answers in here. I should state that I'm not jumping any guns and thinking / presuming what she has is cancer. Far from it, actually. I'm 99% sure it's nothing of any concern, but right now we just don't know. What actually will happen at this appointment? When they see the lump, will they know what it is, or will there be other x-rays, ect, to determine that? I really want to be in there for everything with her, as if the roles were reversed, I'd really want my wife there with me. No-one other than her has seen my 'bits', so I'm putting myself in her shoes at the moment and I know my being there to hold her hand in support would make her feel a lot more at ease. I know that she's really nervous about the idea of someone else seeing and, even moreso, FEELING her breasts, so I've taken the day off work to be there for her. I spoke to the imaging place the other day and they said I MIGHT be allowed in to the ultrasound room with her, but there were no guarantees. I would like to think all places would allow someone to join the patient, as I'm sure it's not just a scary thing to just my wife and I! Anyway, any personal accounts or recounting of similar situations would very much appreciated. Thankyou in advance!
The things people say
Someone posted this link on fb. Enjoyed it and sharing for you all. 3 weeks ago someone suggested i juice 8 times a day, especially carrot juice. Ive been given crystals, essential oils. I was warned by well meaning friend about chemo - err sorry I said, Id like to give myself a chance. Someone else said to me "if you ever need go talk....i have a friend who had breast cancer 10 years ago, actually she has died". Bit of a conversation stopper. What are some if your real liffe conversation killers? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mKovm8HINjI&noapp=1Supporting a friend Overseas.
Evening Everyone. I am so glad we have such an incredible service online. The resources on here are very good, and easy to navigate. I hope this is ok. I have been hit with the news that my very amazing girlfriend has been recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer. We have shared our tears, we have talked lots and that has been great. Just one issue. I cannot give her a hug or deliver a meal. She resides in the USA (however she is Australian), with her beautiful husband and two small children. I am wondering if anyone knows of something kind, something that will help with her to prepare for what is ahead. I was thinking of sending money to help pay for some meals. I guess I am looking for ideas. Open to suggestions. Thank you in advance.
Seeking support and friendship
Hello lovely people, My mum was diagnosed with early breast cancer last Thursday. I felt a rush of mixed emotions and thoughts. I felt scared, upset, sad, and isolated. My dad passed away just over a year ago and that left mum, my sister and me. My sister is not very helpful. She has her own health issues. So it's up to me, mainly, to support my mum through this. My mum is a fighter, she's the strongest person I know, she's been through so much. I'm so proud of her and how far she's come in life. I'm just so confused, and don't really know how I should feel. The doctors are being really positive and said that the cancer is quite early and a small lesion. The surgeon is planning on operating. And then maybe radiotherapy. But we will know a lot more after they excise the lesion. The reason for being confused is: I don't know whether we should go private or public. Finances are not an issue. I also feel guilty. I feel guilty about writing on here and reaching out, when there are so many stories of people who are going through a lot worse. I feel like a fraud. But cancer is cancer. My mum has always prayed that she shouldn't get it. So now that she has, I don't really know how scared she is, and how she is going to get through this. There is always going to be that fear that it would come back after treatment. I guess I am just reaching out, to anyone who is going through a similar situation. Thanks for reading.
