husband not coping with my physical appearance since failed reconstruction
Hi I had a mastectomy and immediate reconstruction on breast that was prev radiated - I was aware of risk might fail and unfortuantely that has happened. 'I am left with a mound with nipple and v confronting to look at as sort of collapsed on itself. My husband is really struggling with my appearance and cant bear to look at it. I think he has been in denial and now cant avoid fact.. he is quite angry and tells me is more that he is put off/disgusted by fact have put on weight(about 8kg) that fact have no breast. Does anyone know of a support group for partners/husbands or any ideas how I can support him? He is v resistant to counselling....:(
Post mastectomy discomfit
My mum had her right breast and lymph node removal two years ago. After treatment finished she decided to have the other breast removed as a precaution and to make it easier in regards to prosthetics. Her first surgery she had very little discomfort. She is now four weeks post her second breast removal and in considerable discomfort. She says it feels as though the surgeon has removed too much tissue. She says it feels like she has a fridge on her chest....tight feeling which affects her movement. She never had this last time even though she had the same surgeon. Today she said she now regrets her decision given her breast was clear and her recovery is 80% worst than last time. After going through so much already it is sad that she now has to deal with this. The surgeon despite us both liking her was dismissive and said it would become more comfortable in time. I do not know why the surgeon did this after the last successful surgery and the surgeon will obviously not admit to an error....though she commented on making mums chest tight so she didn't get excess skin....doesn't make sense as having both sides of her chest similar is more desirable than one with really tight skin and one looser. Has anyone experienced similar and has anything positive or any suggestions that can an offer mum
Thank you, my friend
Thank you to my special friend. We met several weeks ago at a clinic where I was waiting to get pre-surgery blood tests and she was waiting for a physiotherapy appointment. We smiled then got chatting, as people do. Having heard my BC story and that I was alone she was at the hospital with a beautiful bunch of flowers and a special bottle of wine when I came out of theatre. It was such an amazing feeling to not be alone after all. We have caught up since and she kindly lets me use her computer instead of travelling to the library. In the meantime she makes me a cuppa then we sit and chat. She has three of the cutest animals who each give me their own brand of comfort. This week I confided my deepest darkest secrets to my new friend and she told me she also had breast cancer 3 years ago. No wonder she knew what I needed. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.<3
Pre- and post-mastectomy care plans
Hi all, My 71-year old mother in America has just been diagnosed with her second, independent case of breast cancer. It luckily appears to be a minor case and is not currently malignant (according to her doctors), but since she underwent lumpectomies and radiation 15 years ago she has decided to undergo a nonreconstructive bilateral mastectomy in early January. She is otherwise fit and in good health. I am planning to go back to the USA to help dad care for her, and luckily was already scheduled to be going home for Christmas, so I will be with her for more than a week prior to the surgery. My work is very flexible, and I have plenty of leave options to be away for a while, but of course managing inter-continental travel is always a challenge. I will be speaking with Mom soon about what she would like and what her doctor recommends, but I am curious what an average recovery time would be, so that I can start re-arranging my travel plans and notify my work of exactly what I need for leave. I think at the minimum I would want to be present until the drainage tubes are removed, and possibly a week or so after that. So, should I (at least for now) plan to be with her for a month or so post-surgery? I understand that everyone is unique and I will certainly be flexible to what Mom wants, depending on how her surgery and early recover go, but I just want some numbers to plan for. Thanks for any advice, JamesPost Op Bra ?
Hi All, My friends mother has just gone through a mastectomy and i received the below text asking for help. Nb, I had a lumpectomy so told my friend i would ask the online community. "Mum is up to 11 days after surgery. Her arm is still quite sore, which is one reason why her basic post op bra is painful. She thinks no one can fix it (the bra fitting/pain) and has to wait till 6 weeks post op to get the fitting done etc. Any ideas What she can do?" So I guess the questions are; what have other women done for support of one breast whilst the other side is still painful. and What are the types of post opp bras (i had a very soft cotton one - no underwire, from Myers that did up the front with about 10 hook and eyes) Any suggestions would be very welcome, Thanks