First time lump: from a concerned husband's POV
Hi all I'm not really sure if this is the place to be asking this, but I've tried looking and reading online to get info, but it all seems fairly general, a little all over the place, and mostly american-based, which I don't find all that helpful, given the difference in standards / practises between our two countries. Anyway, a quick snapshot of the situation before I ask my question/s. My wife is 30 years old, and from a very conservative culture. Basically, unlike many girls her age, you'll never see her wearing clothing that shows more skin than it covers! We're relatively recently married (2 years), both each other's first loves, etc, so neither of us have had any reason (need or want!) to expose certain parts of either of our bodies to anyone other than each other. *Note: this point will be relevent shortly.* Pretty much until now. About a week-and-a-half ago, I discovered a small, hard lump in my wife's breast. (Y'know, because I'm a good husband and all that! :P). With Christmas happening last week, we only got around to seeing a doctor the other day who has given her a referral to get an ultrasound next week. That's great, but we don't really know what to expect from the whole thing. Again, online articles provide conflicting and varied answers, so I'm hoping I might find some answers in here. I should state that I'm not jumping any guns and thinking / presuming what she has is cancer. Far from it, actually. I'm 99% sure it's nothing of any concern, but right now we just don't know. What actually will happen at this appointment? When they see the lump, will they know what it is, or will there be other x-rays, ect, to determine that? I really want to be in there for everything with her, as if the roles were reversed, I'd really want my wife there with me. No-one other than her has seen my 'bits', so I'm putting myself in her shoes at the moment and I know my being there to hold her hand in support would make her feel a lot more at ease. I know that she's really nervous about the idea of someone else seeing and, even moreso, FEELING her breasts, so I've taken the day off work to be there for her. I spoke to the imaging place the other day and they said I MIGHT be allowed in to the ultrasound room with her, but there were no guarantees. I would like to think all places would allow someone to join the patient, as I'm sure it's not just a scary thing to just my wife and I! Anyway, any personal accounts or recounting of similar situations would very much appreciated. Thankyou in advance!
Two days ago my life changed forever
Hi everyone, just hoping to reach out and seek some advice at a time that my life feels completely out of control on two levels. Two days ago, my (very recent) fiance and I arrived home from our long awaited overseas holiday. We'd been scrimping and saving for this trip, and had the most fantastic time. Although exhausted and jet laggy, we were so excited to see everyone and celebrate our engagement. My younger sister had asked to come see me when I got home, and although not feeling too crash hot I was excited to see her. She walked in the door and I could see something was very very wrong. My 31 year old sister then proceeded to tell me she has been diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer. She and the immediate family had known for about a week but she didn't want to ruin the last few days of my holiday so waited to tell me until I was home. We have a strong family history so breast cancer is not new to us, but the last thing I ever expected was for my baby sister to have a diagnosis so early on. The last few days have been a really strange surreal experience. I was so glad to be able to go to her appointment with her where they talked about a plan of action, and there is some strength in having a plan for moving forward. My number one priority is for my sister to get healthy and well again, although she has a challenging 6 months ahead of her. I am going to do my best to support her through her journey but where I am feeling extra terrified is with my sisters diagnosis, alongside my mum who had breast cancer 5 years back (5 years clear woo hoo!!!! :)) all the doctors are now a lot more concerned about me and are suggesting if my sister's gene testing comes back positive, I should also get gene tested and if that comes back positive then I'll have some decisions to make. So I'm all messed up about my baby sister facing this battle, but then alongside that also worried about what will happen to my side of the things, and feel completely helpless as these things take time, so I just have to sit and wait... and wait... and wait..... I just really appreciate finding this forum and appreciate any advice anyone can give. I also hope as this journey goes on, I'll be able to help others and contribute. Much love to all xx
My mum- 46 yr old, grade 3 IDC- Lumpectomy surgery today
Hi Everyone, I'm 27 and my mum (46 years) has recently been diagnosed with a 14mm (pre surgery) grade 3 IDC and is about to have her lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy today. We wont know what stage and hormone status she is until the 29th. To give a bit of a background, her nanna and mum have both had breast cancer, with her mum being diagnosed at 44 (ILC, ER+ HER- recurrence in other breast 5 years after, Metastasized to bones and brain). Her mum passed away 10 years ago (60 years old) after a long battle. As you can imagine, this has been a fear of my mum's for many years and now that it has been realized we are all at a bit of a loss as to what is next in the process. Although treatment and technology have come a long way since my nan's diagnoses it is quite scary after seeing the battle my nan fought. At this point I'm just looking to reach out to people who have traveled this road. The anxiety and waiting is really hard to deal with and not knowing the full picture at this point.
My 19 year old girlfriend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I don't know what to do
About a month ago my girlfriend was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer. Surprisingly she seemed like she was doing so well considering her situation. I have been so proud of how strong she has been throughout it all. Recently I noticed she had been very distant. She hardly seemed interested in anything we used to talk about. At first i though maybe since she moved back to her parents we had grown distant or I had done something. It was only after her surgery recently that i got to see her again and straight away i knew something was up. She wouldn't look at me and wasn't in the mood to be touched or hugged. I asked her if she was alright and she finally told me that that during her surger they had found that it there was another tumor on the other side of her breast. She went on to say that very soon we could no longer be togethe because she wants to be alone. I asked her why and she told me she didn't want me to see her like this. She kept telling me that she's dying and that I need to let her go. I have tried to plead with her to let me be with her but she doesn't want me to be. I know that she needs space and time to herself because of what this is but I couldn't live with myself if I just let her go it on her own. All I want to do is be there for her but not being able to hurts. Thanks for all the comments and support. It has helped get a better understanding of things. I have decided to give her space and we both agreed that she'll message me when she's ready. I've realised I made it a little hard for her with me stressing too much and that it might help. Thanks again everyone for the support, it has teally meant a lot.