Best Of

Re: Is that right? Did you really say that?

“Oh you’re so brave aren’t you margie” definately felt like slapping that one lol. Xx

onemargie

5

Re: Seeking support and friendship

20 years ago I was in your situation with my mum. It was an extremely traumatic time and I still carry the stress and anxieties that we went through together. My mum was 80 when diagnosed and I really don’t think she ever accepted the diagnosis. Last year I was diagnosed with breast cancer - what a bugger! Given mum’s age and my age at diagnosis (67) they don’t believe there is the genetic factor - all seem to put it down to ‘bad luck’. The last 12 months have been a very anxious and stressful time as I moved through the treatment plan, I am now in a pretty good place although am feeling somewhat anxious as I approach my 12 month scan. I actually think I coped better with my own diagnosis than that of Mum. It is so complicated when you are the support person because we have to respect the feelings and decisions of the other person. I remember saying to mum to write down all her questions and she was most upset with me because in her words, the doctors know best, and it is rude to question them! I was reluctant to ask my questions over the top of her.

My breast surgeon is private and I too ended up with about $8000 out of pocket expenses. My situation became a bit complicated and as a result was referred on to a public oncologist. I could not believe the level of care, compassion and treatment received by a large number of practitioners in a public hospital. I also felt guilty walking out and not paying a cent. The first PET scan I had cost me around $900, when I had the second 12 months later as a public patient, there was no cost. I will continue with my private breast clinic and accept there will be a cost involved, but I cannot fault my oncology care at a public hospital so will continue with this. All doctors are very happy about this and there is regular communication between them. They continually tell me it is the patients choice as to who they see, and it is important that this is your choice.

Make sure you take some time for you while supporting your Mum. The treatment plan seems to go on forever, and if you are anything like me, even the in between times were a constant worry for me as to how my mum was coping.
I lost mum 20 years ago now, but I have no regrets about the time I devoted to her at a time of great need.

I hope you also have a strong support system around you.
Best wishes to you and your mum.

Chris51

7

Re: On Our Walks

Sadly not @Sister, in her busy schedule I could only get a brief slot with @onemargie! We did clutter up the Redcliffe pavement for a bit and drop a few f bombs so we made good use of our time!

I just had the most wonderful day with @Flaneuse. We talked art, politics, travel, life, and everything in between. Found a soul sister.

I love our BCNA network!

kmakm

6

Fascinator for Melbourne Cup

Hello Lovely people!

Tomorrow is my surgery day. I am having a small lesion cut out of my right breast. Caught early, thankfully!
As tomorrow is also Melbourne Cup day I thought I would make a fascinator to wear as I wait...wait...wait to go in, and to give people a bit of a much needed giggle. What do you think?

Pusskat

16

Re: On Our Walks

@iserbrown

I will swap you my brolgas for your koala.

These three were "dancing" less than a kilometre from town.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/6027212/uploads/editor/oe/t2u6uu59vqr5.jpeg

A good indication that the 'Wet' is just around the corner.

Annie C

9

Re: On Our Walks

Went for a walk to the Redcliffe Market and met this reprobate, the gorgeous @onemargie!

F**k cancer!

kmakm

7

Re: Rise of the machines😩🤬🥴🤢

Hi Temple I can relate to your post completely. I found some of the staff very off hand and the rad process freaked me out too. It is very intimidating your lying on a hard plastic "bed" with (in my case) both boobs exposed and a machine slowly moving around you making odd noises. I hated it. I decided that having breast cancer treatment was like having a baby no privacy and no dignity you just have to get on with it. The staff are of course just doing their job but when you are feeling so low and vulnerable it is hard to get past the shit stuff.

But hang in there while it is shit you do get use to the routine and on my first day I told the staff that I was very nervous and apprehensive and they were very kind.

Big hug to you.

Keep busy. You will get through this!

I hope all goes well for you next week.

May20019

6

Re: On Our Walks

Heard a noise on the verandah and expected to find a possum but to our surprise he's back!

iserbrown

9

Re: Rise of the machines😩🤬🥴🤢

If you need to direct your (suppressed) fear and general sense of unhappiness towards anything, a machine is not a bad target. It’s not going to get upset by your dislike or treat you differently because of it. It’s not judgmental, as you say it’s quite impersonal, and it’s not malicious. Sooner or later, we all need to take out our frustrations on something and recognise our fear. Hate the machines by all means if it helps but don’t confuse hating the machines with what staff can do with them. Machines are just instruments, how you use them is the critical bit. Radiation seems to me to be a very tough treatment but those who have gone through it have different stories. To a certain extent, it’s just one more tough treatment - like surgery or chemo. Fear is a natural reaction to the treatment we go through for cancer, and of having cancer in the first place, it’s not anything to be ashamed of and we have all been there. It’s hitting you now because it was almost bound to do so at some point. I am certain that some members of the network can provide helpful information to get you through the next stage, at least to give it a go and see how you feel then. But also think about some counselling, some independent professional advice about coping with all this unexpected stuff in your life. It can really help. Best wishes.

Afraser

9

Year three N E D

So technically it was Thursday but anyhoo...stuff got in the way.

We've been pinking it up at work for the last couple of weeks. Yes, I still like pink, the brighter and blingier the better.

So that's been a lot of fun and we've raised a good deal of money. I am grateful for my job it keeps me appreciative for what I have.

I tried to come up with some words of wisdom but we all know this thing is just a matter of a muddle through for a bit.

I’ve decided I don’t want my old normal back; I want better than that. Nor do I want to waste time waiting for things these days. I got to feeling close to old normal early this year and it wasn’t enough anymore. Be caureful what you wish for huh?

This was surprising, I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, that was the end game right? It took a while to work out where to go from there.

I’ve made a few changes. Some have been a natural progression given what’s gone on and some I’ve had to work on.

For the most part, I feel stronger than ever and I push myself harder than before. I commit to a lot more and I take more chances because why the heck not? Nothing spectacular, nothing that’s going to change the world. Just stuff that I wouldn’t have done before or excused myself from. Do it now, there is no time to waste right?

On the other side I am more empathetic (for some things) and allow myself to feel more. I still have my ability to be an ostrich and shut shit down until I can get my head around it which works well for me but I can now talk about what bothers me and cry when I need to without caring what anyone thinks. I have you guys to thank for the last part. Xoxo

In a nutshell I am happier with this version of me than the old one. I feel more....balanced I guess.

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows and the wheels still fall off occasionally but most times I can do a pretty quick pit stop to get them back on now.

I think the thing I am trying to say is you have to find what works for you. We all know ourselves pretty well so chuck out that rule book. Do what you can and don't feel bad if you're not getting that long list of stuff you should or shouldn't do done. Expect a lot from yourself but be happy with a little, Any improvement is already better than things were 10 minutes ago.

Take notice of the moments. You need them to hang on to, enjoy and aim for more. You already have the skills and strength to get through. Look how far you've made it already. You never know, you might just come out the other side better than ever.

I still have all my naughty vices , sarcasm, dark sense of humour and swear like a sailor but I am far more adaptable, everything is variable. nothing is black and white anymore. Unfortunately it is not 50 shades of grey either LOL. That’s still a work in progress.

Love to everybody and thank you for listening, guiding and the laughs over the last three years.

Wear the sparkles, (or cowgirl boots and jeans, whatever the day feels like) and the Chanel to work if you want, don't save it for later, drink the wine and eat the damn cake.

Blessed are the flexible for they will not break. You've got this.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox

kezmusc

20