Friends say the dumbest things
I have chosen to tell a select few friends for support but now wondering about a couple of those. I guess time will tell who is who on this with me. I was feeling emotional 3 days after surgery and phoned a friend. After asking how I was and me explaining how confronting it all was this friend said 2 things: 1. Join a support group and 2. You're not the first to go through this and you won't be the last. Seems harsh to me. It did stop me in my tracks and I did stop being emotional probably because I couldn't believe she said this. It certainly has made me very careful what I say in future to her and less inclined to share. I have friends who would never be harsh like that and acknowledge/validate my emotions which is great but this person clearly is not one of them. How does everyone deal with people who basically tell you to get on with it?
Breaking up with your oncologist
hi all, im new to this forum and about half way through my AC/taxol chemo ‘journey’. I’m a stage 3 triple positive, on the menu is chemo, mastectomy, radiation, hercepton and likely neratinib (when I get sick of constipation and want to change it up a little). I have an oncologist and whilst she is nice, I just don’t feel like I click with her. I feel like I’m being provided a service and I seldom leave her appointments uplifted. She’s pretty black and white and straight down the line. Trying to make her laugh with my satirical humour is almost impossible. I’ve been trying to crack her now for a good 12 weeks. No joy. However my surgeon and my new radio oncologist when I meet them, I feel happy afterward. A friend says I’m mad to stick with her and should find a new oncologist. So I’m just wondering has anyone had any experience with finding a new oncologist and the reasons that they did so? And also, how they did it? i feel like if I leave I should be kind and find a way to explain ‘it’s not you it me, we just don’t click’. Because she’s not crap, she’s just maybe not someone I’d have a wine with. Thanks!
Keeping family and friends informed
Hi everyone, Another newbie - routine mammogram in mid Oct, biopsy then diagnosed Nov 21 with invasive ductal carcinoma (13mm). Surgery planned for Jan 2 - lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy then radiotherapy and hormone blockers after. I feel fairly well informed with whats going on and not freaking out too much (today anyway haha). My question is how do you keep everyone informed of whats happening? Is it worth setting up a blog? My husband is great talking to everyone but I'm not keen on going over and over it on the phone or when I run into people when out and about.. If anyone has found a blog useful can you steer me in the right direction of how to start one - thanks in advance :)
How do you tell people and what do you tell ?????
Diagnosed today with Stage 1 Cancer, and already had so much good advice from this forum, my brain hasn’t stopped and now have no idea how to tell family, friends, work - do you do a Facebook status / LinkedIn / twitter post .... do you call? .... should I wait ? Should I give them a link ? Will it upset them ? My poor husband is super upset but supportive and I’m lucky .... your advise and experience would be appreciated xx
Tempered Conversations
Whilst I thoroughly agree that this is a terrible time in our lives I sometimes read posts and wish ladies would read and re-read their posts before hitting the button. Think how you were feeling at the beginning - is what you are saying really what you wanted to hear just then and is it expressed in a gentle manner ? Yes, we need to be honest but please think about the terminology and how it would seem to others coming behind you. You don't know how the person is feeling, you don't know their circumstances (personal or financial) and you don't know how what you are saying may be sufficient to drive the end of their life. Please be kind. Anne
New Online Network - Important Information (Please read)
We’re thrilled to let you know that we are launching a new-look Online Network platform that will be easier-to-navigate and enhance your experience with us, while still allowing you to connect with others going through a similar breast cancer experience. So that our team are able to migrate your information over to the improved platform, there will be an Online Network pause from 19-27 March, 2025. During this time you will still be able to access the Online Network however in READ ONLY format, which means you can continue to view everything but you will not be able to start a discussion or comment on a post. After 27 March, we’re excited to welcome you to experience the refreshed Online Network. We’ll be in touch with further guidance on how to login soon! We’re very aware how important our Online Network community is, and we apologise for the inconvenience of this disruption. If you need information or support during this pause, please reach out to BCNA's free and confidential Helpline on1800 500 258.
Is a blog over the top?
Hi, I'm Kirrilee, I don't even know any answers to fill in the journal page about myself. I know nothing about anything yet. This is what I do know. I have grade 3 aggressive breast cancer. I had a lumpectomy and some nodes taken on Thursday (21st Jan). I have another appointment with the surgeon on Friday. I didn't mean to start a blog, it's just that everyone asks so many questions and it's tricky replying to everyone. It seems to be keeping people informed as well as helping me by spending time concentrating on forming sentences rather than starting to panic. Do you reckon it's over the top? xo swimmingthroughwinter.weebly.comFriday update 24 September 2021
Friday update 24 September 2021 Hello members, Well, we have had an interesting week here in Victoria with an earthquake that was felt across the State and by some of our neighbours in New South Wales, Canberra, Adelaide and Launceston – Did you feel it? It is also a public holiday here today in Victoria therefore the BCNA office is closed, however there is still time for a Friday update. For those of you who follow the AFL and/or one of the grand final teams, I hope you enjoy the game on the weekend. Community highlights New groups PALB2 gene support– This is a private group for individuals and family members affected by the PALB2 gene to come together for support and help spread the word about this gene mutation. The very brave Kerr Family spoke up about this largely unknown gene that has greatly affected their family and the main reason behind the Online Network's new PALB2 group. CLICK HERE to access the article. Popular forum discussions Members new and old may have missed some of the forum discussions that have received the most comments: 1. More cancer 2. New fees for radiation therapy as of 1-7-21 3. How did you find out about BCNA 4. Friday Funnies These funny posts are welcome any day really – bringing something light hearted to the forum credit @arpie Community News BCNA NEWS 16 Sept 2021 - Removal of Herceptin from PBS From October 2021, there will be some changes to Herceptin, one of the drug therapies that is available for people with HER-2 positive breast cancer – Access the full article via link below: https://www.bcna.org.au/news/2021/09/removal-of-herceptin-from-pbs/ BCNA NEWS 23 Sept 2021 – Breast Reconstruction Report The Breast Reconstruction in Australia 2021 report details the findings from BCNA’s survey, which received 3,350 responses from women across every state and territory, from metropolitan, regional and rural areas, and from ages 18 to over 80 - Access the full report via link below: Breast Reconstruction in Australia 2021 report | Breast Cancer Network Australia (bcna.org.au) The Pink Bra Project (Launching 26th September) The Pink Bra Project is an initiative created by Berlei and Breast Cancer Network Australia to support those close to our heart who have been affected by breast cancer. Berlei have created a special pink bra collection where $10 from the sale of each bra will be donated to BCNA in support of those affected by breast cancer. The collection includes a post-surgery bra, two t-shirt bras and a wirefree bra, and will be available to purchase online and instore from 26th September – Check full details of project via below link https://www.bcna.org.au/news-events/the-pink-bra-project/ Webcasts and conferences you have have missed Managing the cost of beast cancer: tips and resources There were 1,157 registrations and it was very interactive and informative one hour session. A few frequently asked/mentioned topics from the night were: · Access to long service, annual and sick leave · Out of pocket costs · Accessing death insurance before you pass · TPD insurance · Help available for self-employed/small business owners · Accessing superannuation early · Added costs for rural and regional members to access metro health care systems · Employment issues If you missed the webcast, you can still register via the link above and watch on demand. Upfront About Breast Cancer Podcast If you haven’t already, subscribe to BCNA's Fortnightly Podcasts . Podcast 35 coming up in the last week of September will be in relation to ‘Young Women & Sexuality’. We will also provide details very soon of an upcoming mini-series with clinical psychologist Dr. Charlotte Tottman. Books / Movies/ TV Series/ Documentaries Recently I re-watched Netflix documentary ‘Minimalism: a documentary about the important things’. You may have also heard of the producer’s podcast ‘The Minimalists’. Good reminder that we don’t have to accumulate ‘things’ for fulfilment. What have you read or watched lately? That’s it from me for another Friday update and I hope you enjoy the read as you head into the weekend. In the meantime, if you have any concerns while online, please contact one of the moderators - @Jenny_BCNA @Carissa_BCNA @Anna_BCNA @Pat_BCNA @MichelleP_BCNA @Mez_BCNA If you need to speak with someone regarding your concern, please call 1800 500 258 alternatively, you can email contact@bcna.org.au (We will be back on deck Monday). Take care, The mod team – Mez, Carissa, Jenny, Anna, Pat & Michelle ‘I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.’ – Maya AngelouImportant update (please read)
Just a reminder to our valued Online Network community, from 5pm Wednesday 19 March to Thursday 27 March there will be a pause to your Online Network access while we transition you over to the improved platform. This means, you can continue to view everything but you will not be able to start a discussion or comment on a post. After 27 March, we look forward to welcoming you back to experience our refreshed My Journey, which will include the new Online Network. Again, we apologise for the inconvenience of this disruption and appreciate your understanding. If you need information or support during this pause, please reach out to BCNA's free and confidential Helpline on 1800 500 258. If you are interested in registering as a new member during this period please email helpline@bcna.org.au and we will contact you when the new platform is live
