Keeping family and friends informed

That’s a good point. I found the best way of not having everyone go on and on about it was to tell everything myself at the start and then those who wanted to talk among themselves could do so without bothering me! That said, I don’t have a big extended family. Horses for courses. Main thing is not to make updating (or not) a burden or a worry. No-one needs that! 

@Jo_H it was a completely genuine question, not a judgment. I took from your post that you were perhaps feeling a bit overwhelmed/uncertain about communication in the broad and was just wondering whether you felt obliged to share en masse but were unsure whether you wanted (or had the energy) to.  Noting also that some people have mentioned some regret at initial very broad messaging. It has absolutely nothing to do with caring about people. But it can be worth considering whether it’s what you actually want rather than what you feel others expect. It can also mean that it becomes very difficult to ever talk about anything else. 

I hope you have made a good recovery from your surgery, too, @Jo_H ....

You will have your game plan now too, so all the best with that as well xx

Re telling family, workmates & friends - yep - as @kmakm says - it is all about what works for you, no-one else! ;)   xx

Hi @Jo_H 
We did a  family fb messenger  group which  got hijacked by my sister ( who unfortunately has a terminal brain tumour) so it became all about her which was disappointing. I now don’t want to continue with that unless someone else asks me on it. We just contact the people we want to let know now where we are up to.

Good luck 

It's different strokes for different folks. Some like to be very, very private, and some like to be incredibly open. There's no right or wrong. You just have to do what's right for you.

StarGirl because I care about them and if it were me I would want to know how a friend with breast cancer was doing. 

Why do you need to keep everyone informed?

Thank you all for your lovely supportive responses. Sorry it has taken me a while to come back to the forum but I appreciate you all taking the time to share your stories with me. I haven't worried about a blog at this stage & I also haven't put it on Facebook which I am so pleased about as I think I would have been bombarded with questions that I don't feel up to answering! The grapevine has worked well in my small town too & luckily the news has gradually filtered around to those that matter. Other than that I have a family Facebook Messenger group for my immediate family which has been great to give them updates after my surgery and follow up appointments - especially since they live all over Australia (Perth, Adelaide & Queensland). I also have a good friend who has set up a group message to update friends which really takes the pressure off me and my husband.
I guess there's no right or wrong way, we are all just figuring out how to navigate this as we go along.
Thanks again lovely ladies :)

Hello Jo_H, I was diagnosed in early September & found it exhausting repeating myself. I set up a ‘Whatsapp’ group, where I post short updates & photos. The group is made up of friends who are friends from work, cousins & in-laws. They feel like they are in the loop & it saves me having to reply personally to phone calls or texts. Particularly handy for when when I’m simply not up for telling the truth, especially when I’m down and don’t want the burden of juggling their emotions too. Close family & friends can handle the truth, so get they get the finer details and give me the support needed. 

@Jo_H Welcome aboard! It sounds like you are doing really well & have a good handle on what your immediate plans are so good on you for trying to remain as positive as you can!! I have just had my 2 yr anniversary & there are many of us who have had our surgeries this time of year. Not ideal but you cant change it! I came out 2 days before Christmas & still managed to spend Christmas day with my family 2 hrs away.
i too had invasive DCIS but no node involvement, with lumpectomy & rad treatment. I guess I knew early on that i probably wouldnt have to have chemo so keeping my cancer a secret was going to be easy as I wouldn't lose my hair. To this day, not many people know. I live in a small country town & know everybody. I knew they would mean well but I wanted to be able to go shopping & not be hounded by everybody or have some avoid me & I am so happy i did this. My close family know but my in-laws dont. I told my boss & my only co-worker & a friend that works in the local chemist so she could help me with scripts etc. I also had a friend who works for Breastscreen QLD & does mammograms so she was a wealth of knowledge for me. 
Everybody is different & as my cancer "journey" was very smooth, I found it easy to avoid telling people. Many find it good to have support from friends & family & to have their help with food, housework, driving, visits etc so it really depends on you & your situation as to how many you tell. Word will spread fast so be prepared if you do. 
There is good & bad in both so it is a very personal thing for you to decide. As I said, I am sooooo happy I didnt let the news out. My immediate family, co-worker & couple of friends have been all that I needed to get through PLUS the most important of all....THE BEAUTIFUL FRIENDS ON THIS FORUM!!!! Good luck & I wish you love & strength as you begin your treatment. xx